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sexual orientation

Started by amber roskamp, November 07, 2014, 01:20:56 PM

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what is your sexual orientation?

gay
22 (16.7%)
bisexual
41 (31.1%)
straight
25 (18.9%)
pansexual
26 (19.7%)
asexual
18 (13.6%)

Total Members Voted: 119

Alexmakenoise

Quote from: Edge on November 09, 2014, 06:36:53 PM
Yeah. The bi guys I know don't seem to care if they're bi, but at least one of them keep/kept up the appearance of being straight to avoid drama (we live in a kind of conservative city), a couple didn't want their parents to know, and I'm not sure about the others.

I've had the same experience.  A lot of people have sex with people of both genders but don't openly identify as bi.
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Illuminess

I've seen several trans girls with girlfriends, and I have to think that takes some serious disregard for physicality, especially the fact that many find it difficult to accept someone born male transitioning to female are actually women essentially. She has to be one very special individual to be able to not care about the nether regions. It's not something that bothers me since sex isn't even important to me, but I would think gay cis women are less likely to be open to trans women. So, I'm going from being less likely to attract straight women to being even more less likely to attract anyone at all besides creepy ->-bleeped-<-s. Or perhaps I just think too much. :P
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"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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Ash

Quote from: GnomeKid on November 09, 2014, 10:13:32 PM
hah.. I kind of identify as a male lesbian...

In truth though I'm straight.  I completely agree with Kittylover.... The idea of calling myself straight is so gross to me.  In my group of friends its typically been a 4-letter word. (with 8 letters...)

Exactly the same as me.
Straight just sounds so so wrong. Damn breeders.
But I have no interest in women. Always been guys I've liked. So I don't know what to call myself most of the time.
So I guess I'll have to flip yours and identify as a female gay  :P
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23 Skidoo

Quote from: Illuminess on November 10, 2014, 04:22:13 AM
I've seen several trans girls with girlfriends, and I have to think that takes some serious disregard for physicality, especially the fact that many find it difficult to accept someone born male transitioning to female are actually women essentially. She has to be one very special individual to be able to not care about the nether regions. It's not something that bothers me since sex isn't even important to me, but I would think gay cis women are less likely to be open to trans women. So, I'm going from being less likely to attract straight women to being even more less likely to attract anyone at all besides creepy ->-bleeped-<-s. Or perhaps I just think too much. :P

I'd say in the general scheme of things women care less about your genitals than men do, and especially gay women at that. That and the good deal of gay women aren't absolutely repulsed by penises anymore than most gay men are repulsed by vaginas(despite the silly stereotype), it's the whole package(pun intended) connected to the genitals as well that is not so appealing. Plus, depending on how the cis partner likes to have sex, and how the trans partner feels about using their genitals, they actually could be seen as an unusual benefit in terms of sex. Going by internet anecdotes it would appear many cis lesbians aren't against having PiV sex, they just don't want to do with with a man.

I'd say my orientation is generally lesbian. Also I guess male lesbian can apply because I've had two different girlfriends a few years back, and the sexual experiences were, well, lesbian-esque(and that's coming from one of them), which in retrospect was probably causing problems at the time.
26 years old. Started E in March '14 and Spiro over a year before that. Also, I'm effing awesome.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it
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Illuminess

Quote from: 23 Skidoo on November 10, 2014, 01:54:41 PM
I'd say in the general scheme of things women care less about your genitals than men do, and especially gay women at that.

Definitely agree, but it still can be a concern. Being trans alone makes the idea of a relationship seem far less likely.

QuoteGoing by internet anecdotes it would appear many cis lesbians aren't against having PiV sex, they just don't want to do with with a man.

Well, that puts me in the clear, then.

QuoteI'd say my orientation is generally lesbian. Also I guess male lesbian can apply because I've had two different girlfriends a few years back, and the sexual experiences were, well, lesbian-esque(and that's coming from one of them), which in retrospect was probably causing problems at the time.

Even before transition I had the worst time trying to have a relationship with straight cis women. She was pretty much dating a woman in disguise, expecting things from me that I wasn't capable of. So, I feel that if I do meet someone new, and she doesn't run away, it'll probably be something that actually lasts. The chemistry would finally be right.
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"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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amber roskamp

Quote from: Illuminess on November 10, 2014, 04:22:13 AM
I've seen several trans girls with girlfriends, and I have to think that takes some serious disregard for physicality, especially the fact that many find it difficult to accept someone born male transitioning to female are actually women essentially. She has to be one very special individual to be able to not care about the nether regions. It's not something that bothers me since sex isn't even important to me, but I would think gay cis women are less likely to be open to trans women. So, I'm going from being less likely to attract straight women to being even more less likely to attract anyone at all besides creepy ->-bleeped-<-s. Or perhaps I just think too much. :P
I think most women would not all the sudden stop finding you attractive if they found out that you were trans. there is a lot of possibilities, but we often think the negative is the most common.

many women, i guess it applies to men as well, might be intriguid by the fact that we are trans.  Just because the idea of us being trans isnt appalling to them doesnt mean that they are ->-bleeped-<-s.
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amber roskamp

at 50 voters we have 20% for gay, pan, and straight. 12% for asexual and 28% for bisexual.

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Illuminess

Quote from: amber roskamp on November 10, 2014, 08:46:33 PM
at 50 voters we have 20% for gay, pan, and straight. 12% for asexual and 28% for bisexual.

I voted "asexual", but "demisexual" is probably more accurate. I just couldn't engage in coitus (as Sheldon would say) right now due to not being terribly fond of the bits and pieces. Since my libido is already nearly nil I wonder if HRT would end up having a paradoxical effect on me. :P
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"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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amber roskamp

Quote from: Illuminess on November 10, 2014, 09:17:38 PM
I voted "asexual", but "demisexual" is probably more accurate. I just couldn't engage in coitus (as Sheldon would say) right now due to not being terribly fond of the bits and pieces. Since my libido is already nearly nil I wonder if HRT would end up having a paradoxical effect on me. :P

I wish i knew how to put up more options then i would have also had these options demisexual, queer, sexually fluid, other, and unsure.
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Illuminess

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"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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Sybil

Quote from: Cindi Jones on November 07, 2014, 08:02:43 PM
My husband of 23 years just left me for a "real woman" and now I am wondering about this very question. I have not a clue! I think that I'd like to date a woman just to see how I feel.

Cindi
That is .. heartbreaking to read. I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how someone could suddenly change their opinion of an entire concept like that after 23 years.

On topic, my closest identification is probably straight-bicurious because I feel attraction to women as well as men, but unanimously prefer men both for interactive and romantic purposes. My attraction seems a bit scattered, though, and I am not wholly attracted to either gender. Extremes of facial attraction are more apparent to me in men, while middle-ground is more apparent to me in women. Female torsos are neutral to me, but male legs are neutral to me as well. I am especially put off by the idea of another person's vulva. I also feel no compulsion to physically interact with women, whereas I do with men. Ironically, I find women slightly easier to admire visually.

It can be very difficult for me to lose myself in lust for someone because I typically feel nothing for some component of every person. I end up focusing on romance, which means just men. If there were an "other" vote, I would have selected that one.
Why do I always write such incredibly long posts?
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pretty pauline

Quote from: PinkCloud on November 07, 2014, 07:45:36 PM
HRT made me heterosexual, and I now like guys. Before HRT and SRS I was dating women. I tried to ask myself how this could change. But that question became meaningless and pointless in the end. I just accepted my new sexuality. I feel nothing for woman anymore. I do think that HRT can change orientation. Seen it happen in quite a few people.
I absolutely agree, it happen to me, it felt a bit unnerving at first, but I embraced my new sexuality, I'm now a straight woman married to a man, we're now just an ordinary husband and wife, the normality of it all.
If your going thru hell, just keep going.
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Lostkitten

A straight trans woman. When I tell it in my daily life they get confused but here I assume it is pretty simple right :P?

When I still lived by a male identity I did have a girlfriend.. gosh.. sometimes feel a bit bad for her. I remember how we first started dating and she told me all her ex partners are now gay. I told her I was transitioning like a year ago (no idea why, I was bored). She probably, well, got a self-esteem probleem x_x. Karma! She was a cheating bitchy person so hey, all worked out :P.

Rambling. Anyway! With girls I like kissing, cuddling, and such. The sensual stuff. With men I tried more sexual stuff. I never had a relationship with a guy so I am not sure.. I just assume I am straight because women are sexy and interesting but not for a relationship I think ..or.. so.. .. .. wah.. confusing..
:D Want to see me ramble, talk about experiences or explaining about gender dysphoria? :D
http://thedifferentperspectives3000.blogspot.nl/
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emilyking

Growing up, I was asexual or at least I had no idea what my sexual orientation was because I wasn't attracted to boys or girls.

I was 20, when by accident I was jokingly asked by my male remate if I wanted to have sex with him.  I got mentality excited, but freaked out.

Of course, I just recently learned I'm an intersexual.  Which might explain why I might have had trouble figuring things out.

(Just in case your wondering, yes I like boys.)
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amber roskamp

Quote from: Kirey on November 20, 2014, 12:33:51 PM
Rambling. Anyway! With girls I like kissing, cuddling, and such. The sensual stuff. With men I tried more sexual stuff. I never had a relationship with a guy so I am not sure.. I just assume I am straight because women are sexy and interesting but not for a relationship I think ..or.. so.. .. .. wah.. confusing..

I agree with much of this, besides I cant see my self being in a relationship with a man. So does that make me homo-romantic hetero-sexual? idk. I put gay... I don't find guys attractive really, but I do want to have sex with a guy sometime down the road
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Illuminess

I'm far too obsessed with feminine expression — even "soft butch" or androgynous — that I don't think I could ever start finding men romantically attractive. The most I'm capable of is appreciating androgyny like Brian Molko from the band Placebo. I've never once felt an emotional connection to a guy. Masculinity just doesn't click with me. The close guy friends I have are pretty sensitive themselves. One of them is even confirmed low in testosterone. Speaking of, my results came in:



That trips me out.

Anyway... if HRT actually did make something snap in my brain to where my attractions started to shift I'm not sure how well I'd like that (in this moment, anyhow). I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, though. If anything, I'll just end up being even more gay. But..when chemicals change in the body your thoughts and feelings tend to flow along with them, so what you think you don't want today could very well be exactly what you want tomorrow. Biology is a freak show.
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"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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Dandy Dunker

I am mostly attracted to other guys because they are your friend and you get along with them and then their also your partner it's a two in one package although I am open to people that are females, genderqueer, bigender ect. 
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Tossu-sama

I strongly dislike categorizing and labeling people by sexual orientation. It's just... bleh.

For simplicity's sake, I always say I'm a bisexual. I'm in a long term relationship with a (cis)woman but other than that I know I'm pretty damn gay. I'm one woman's straight guy. |D
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LizMarie

Quote from: amber roskamp on November 09, 2014, 10:04:53 AM
I just read a article that said that only about 3.4 percent of the country self identified as lgbt or unsure or other. its so crazy that there is such a huge difference.

though I don't believe the number is accurate bc some people are in the closet, it so interesting that there is such a huge difference in how trans people are oriented compared to cis people. it blows my mind.

Actually, it's not crazy. The hormonal differences in utero that make one trans are also suspected of playing a role (not the only role but a role) in why some people are gay, lesbian, or bi. So if you've been exposed in utero to atypical hormonal ratios that caused you to be trans, there would naturally be a higher chance of a trans person being gay, lesbian, or bi.

The following presentation is about 70 minutes long. It was given at the American Medical Association's annual meeting in 2011. It discusses the hormonal factors in utero in much greater detail and links LGB to T because of this.

http://media01.commpartners.com/AMA/sexual_identity_jan_2011/index.html


As for myself, I listed bisexual. But this isn't a change for me, but an acceptance. I was attracted to two of my best male friends in high school. One turned out to be gay and kissed me once, and I wasn't shocked. I just wished I could have been their girlfriends instead. :P But I was attracted to females as well and I fully admit that (though 20 years ago I would have vehemently denied being attracted to guys, out of guilt).
The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.



~ Cara Elizabeth
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Trying to be me

I'm only gay when I'm a guy.

Haha ok so let me explain. I am female bodied. I am attracted to men therefor I am straight. I am also genderfluid so sometimes I am a man. When I am male I am still attracted to men so I am gay. 
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