Family

[Taka]

we use to call ourselves family, a big family of brothers, sisters, and other siblings.
at least that's what the norm seems to be around here.

but families have parents and nieces and uncles and great grandparents and... well, i think you get what i mean by now.

we all know our auntie shan. she's pretty much the only one who's taken a family-like role, isn't she...
but now i'm wondering, do the people here feel like family to you, and what do some of the different family members feel like to you?


my own family would be like...
shantel would be my auntie. i don't think i could think of her any differently, other than maybe an uncle. but they're basically the same when it comes to nb, i'm quite unable to understand if that would make any difference.
jacey would be my nephiece or something like that. that cute genderless kid. (wonder which sibling's child they'd be...)
satinjoy would be a cousin who visits often and confuses me when i try to play with h'er. because girls confuse me a lot, even if they can be a man at times too.
julie is something like a cool grandma through complicated family relations. we have lots of complicated relations in my family, but for some reason we all love every new part of the family. julie feels like that type of person to me. someone who might not even be a grandma but became like mine anyway.
mark... would it be mean to make you a pet in my family? dogs have a special place in families and are deeply loved. other pets can be loved the same too.
ativan feels like a long lost twin. shocking similarities in people who have lived shockingly different lives. a connection that didn't have to be made simply because it was already there.


feel free to disagree with me.
these are just examples of how i feel about some of my friends here.
those who were missed will have to remind me, i'll find a place for everybody who's interested.

(it's just a game of curiosity, let's not take it too seriously, while still being honest.)

[Shantel]

I think you have it pegged pretty well Taka, the only change I'd make is that Mark would be my little one I used to protect from bullies. You are quite sensitive to the different personalities in our family here, I completely agree about Julie being a grandma. It has nothing to do with her actual age though, but is more about that knowing sweetness she seems to exude.

Well I hope all you family members are keeping warm, it was 24 degrees F here this morning which is chilly for this area.

[Taka]

we're freezing to death at night. i'll have to move into a different room. or rather, i have to finish the writing desk i'm making in that warmer room.

so mark's my cute cousin then? that works too.
you're right about the ages. they don't matter at all, it's the feeling that matters. julie'd be the coolest grandma ever.

i just remembered i forgot about df. i'll make her my little sister. i like little sisters, i even have a male little sister on some other forums. he really wanted to be a little sister so it seemed right to adopt him as that.


but now i'm wondering about how other people relate to this family of ours...
please tell me of your own family members too.

[Satinjoy]

I love this thread.  Must reply later due to time, and will misgender due to it being relational...no offense it will be the strength I pull from
Taka. Big brother
Sootball baby with arms up to be carried
Julie. Sister
Patty mother
Ativan father sorry dear friend for male gendering
Shantel grandpa
Jayce little sister
Suzi twin sister
Df teenage sister
The vamp wild little brother that keeps running away
Aisla close brother
Mark cousin, and home here a lot,
More later, cousins abound.

When I saw this thread I cried.. that is how close I feel to all of you.

And I am little innocent sister, just starting puberty.

The misgendering is not gender perception.  It's the components of you I am drawn to and lean on hard to get through the day.

Love to all from Satinjoy.  Sorry I did not get everyone.

Is anyone upset about the gendering?  Because everyone is so much more than one.

[Taka]

rofl... this family won't connect in any sensible way at all.
my half/step sister also being my grandma... it's probably possible but... haha

satinjoy, you're my little sister now. that does feel more right in a way.
sootball feels a little weird about being called a baby, but it likes being carried around so it doesn't matter.
sootball will be your baby, and then it will baby you when that feels righter.
*jumps on satinjoy's shoulder and squirms a little before sooting up h'er eyes again*

[Asche]

At the risk of mortally offending (and totally misunderstanding, not to mention misgendering) half the people at Susan's, I'll put in my associations.

You, my dear Taka, would be the cousin who lives way on the other side of the continent, who I have the feeling I could have a very special relationship with if we could see each other more often than once every few years and only at busy family gatherings.  (I have a RL cousin sort of like that.)

LordKAT would be an older brother who has lived a very different life from mine, but cares anyway.

Aisla an older sister who I've always been a little in awe of.

Ms. Grace would be the aunt who is always there with aunt-ly advice and a hug.

Suzifrommd would be another aunt, who I disagree with a lot, but treasure for her open heart.  (I have a sister-in-law like that.)

+ + +

This exercise is kinda hard for me, because my experience of family is of people with whom I have never had a relationship I could rely on.  They do a passable job of acting like we're family when it doesn't require much effort, but when push comes to shove, whatever relationship we have evaporates.

The only people whose relationship I think I can trust are my two sons, and it's an asymmetric one, like most parent-child relationships.  I have two sisters-in-law who seem a little more authentic than my birth family, but they're awfully prickly, which I don't know how to deal with.

[Asche]

rofl... this family won't connect in any sensible way at all.
my half/step sister also being my grandma...

Ever heard the song "I am my own grandpa"?

[Taka]

Ever heard the song "I am my own grandpa"?

yes, i did. that's why i'm saying it could be possible, kind of.
i'm sorry that i can't seem to find a good place for you, asche.
it's almost like we're siblings who grew up with each our parent, never getting to know each other properly.

[Edge]

I'm not the type that people consider family. Considering my experiences with family and non-blood related people I've called my family, I'm not really the type to feel comfortable calling people family. I hope no one is offended by that.

[Shantel]

I'm not the type that people consider family. Considering my experiences with family and non-blood related people I've called my family, I'm not really the type to feel comfortable calling people family. I hope no one is offended by that.

Speaking for grandma, grandpa, the kids, nieces and nephews we'lll give you a pass on that and honor your wishes Victor!

[Taka]

I'm not the type that people consider family. Considering my experiences with family and non-blood related people I've called my family, I'm not really the type to feel comfortable calling people family. I hope no one is offended by that.

not gonna force you into this family thing. was hesitating on giving you a role, i could only see a somewhat unsocial brother who decided to leave the family because he'd rather be independent on his own. i get a feeling it would be better to have you as a friend or interesting acquaintance.

[Edge]

not gonna force you into this family thing. was hesitating on giving you a role, i could only see a somewhat unsocial brother who decided to leave the family because he'd rather be independent on his own. i get a feeling it would be better to have you as a friend or interesting acquaintance.

I am happy with that.

[JulieBlair]

Cool grandma eh,
I'm flattered that you think I'm cool - I dunno about that.  But I'm grandma Julie to lots of people all ready, and delighted to be included in the tribe.  So when you get sick from sitting in a draft Taka .  I'll make you some chicken soup from scratch.  The kitchen will breathe the smell of roasting bird, then smile to the savory smell of the stock gently simmering.  Finally I'll add the barley and sauteed vegetables. Once the bread comes out of the oven everyone will gather for conversation and a light meal, before the Akvavit is poured and the poker begins.

Julie

[JulieBlair]

Would somebody please wipe Satinjoy's tears, and tell her that dinner is ready?
j

[Taka]

yeah, that sounds like a good family to me. aquavit is important too, i'm happy to meet people who even know what that is.
let's invite our friend edge too?

[JulieBlair]

Wouldn't be a party without them.

[Tessa James]

Family we most certainly are.  My birth family included 13 kids and our parents in a 4 bedroom home that i left at 16 yo.  I've never had my own bedroom and love/need to be in frequent contact with close friends who are now my deliberate family of choice.  We talk, play and hangout while our banter and games are never replaced by that box emitting sounds of football.  The traditional definitions of family have changed considerably over my lifetime.  We celebrate mixed marriages and countless permutations that work just fine.  Here at Susan's we can find the annoying, angry, sharing, caring, insightful and loving people that are more than a stand in for what we may have lost or never had.  As we move toward the winter solstice and, for some, compulsory family gatherings, it seems vital that we also celebrate and value our family right here.  Sure we sometimes bug each other but part of that is likely because you have real esteem in our eyes and family matters.  You have made a tremendous difference for me.   I know it may be a trite bumper sticker cliche but LOVE MAKES A FAMILY and I love you too.

[JulieBlair]

Tessa my sister,

Without you there could be no family for me.   

Julie

[Taka]

ah, tessa!
i forgot who you are again... i know your face, but haven't connected it properly to that name.
time to remember it...
i'd like to call you my eccentric aunt. eccentricity is a positive trait, colorful and attractive.
i'll pick flowers on my way to visit you.

[Tessa James]

Yup, just like that you make me feel so very good and laugh till I cry. 

Thank you