Hi Ruth,
I think you're doing fine. You're about where I am.
A few things to keep in mind that I've learned:
I'm glad you started ASAP with the hair removal. I'm doing electrolysis and while it's moving along fairly quickly, it's better that I started now rather than when I go full time. With laser you may have to do some electrolysis to remove stragglers so be prepared for that. Thanks to a member here (Sydney) I found a great electrologist who is not only good but also fun to go to, since she is trans and we also have conversations.
Sex drive - it may be affected by HRT. Keep that in mind since you said you have sex with your wife. You may have to change how you enjoy each other. Low dose E alone pretty much killed it for me, so full strength HRT is likely to be far worse. That said, everyone is different.
Work - plan how you're coming out. I already talked to my HR director and I'm out to a few coworkers. It's nice to have allies. Check your state laws and company policy on non-discrimination against transgender employees. Have a plan if you're not protected.
Kids - Mine are 4 and they don't say anything. I wear skirts and dresses at home and go out andro in women's jeans and tops. However I'm presenting male much more these days as I have to use the company gym and I don't want too many questions in the locker room. It's a real drag and makes me feel so low to have to present male but I think of the goal I have in mind which is to keep me healthy so I can have no road blocks to HRT or surgeries.
Hair - At one extreme you have hair transplants and wigs. Wigs are not bad, but I don't prefer them and would like to avoid wearing one. But they look beautiful on a lot of people - Laverne Cox, for example, and a lot of people here. On the other extreme you can grow out and style your existing hair. In the middle you have drugs like Minoxidil (Rogaine) and Finasteride which can help with hair regrowth. Be aware though that some drugs may decrease your sex drive.
Voice - I am at the beginning too. I am looking for a good voice therapist. DIY options aren't cutting it for me. I may opt for surgery later but right now I'm planning to see a voice therapist first before I go under the knife.
Weight loss and health - very good! I was 210lbs and I'm down to 175 or so. I drop about 2-3 lbs a week so I should be down to my target of 160-165 soon. Estrogen can cause you to gain weight but it didn't for me (I'm off it for now, I was self medicating, bad girl).
Clothes - plan on getting your own. My wife said I could wear hers but I don't feel comfortable. Besides, it doesn't fit me all that well. So I have a good bit of my own, and I did have it from when I was secretly cross dressing anyway. Clearance racks and goodwill are good ways to acquire a lot of it on the cheap.
Therapist - They've been helpful even though I totally complained about the first one. The first one left the practice which is why I had to find a new one, but the new one I'm going to seems to be well respected. Don't be afraid to open up, don't be afraid to cry, and remember that YOU are driving the conversation. But the therapist brought me out of my comfort zone. As a result I am taking real steps. She encouraged me to choose a name, deal with the facial hair and also talk to my employer. However she was a little hesitant about hormones, but she did say it's at my pace. The new one I went to asked if I was on them already, and suggested a few places. I live in NJ but all my care is in NYC so it's pretty much informed consent here.
Other family - I'm not ready to be out to my parents yet. I want to present female when I do. I might take a trip down to see them. I hate impersonal things like letters and emails, and even Skype. That said I'll be staying in a Hotel, lol. Most of my other family lives in other countries, and my brother lives in California. So it will be long distance for them. I might just come out on facebook and let the chips fall where they may, but only around when I go full time.
