I'm planning on starting HRT in a couple of months and here is where I am.
Out to wife, NA sponsor and a few of wife's friends
In therapy with gender therapist
Two sessions of laser to face
Dressing pretty androgynous. When full blown guy mode I feel like I'm 'in drag' or not myself
Co workers see me changing but no big issues there.
Sex with wife good. She is very supportive. I wore her skinny jeans to laser and wal Mart today
Lost 60 lbs. 30 to go

Not done
Out to kids and other family
Head hair issues. Wearing a lot of scarves
Voice. Afraid to start
I'm sure there's a ton more stuff

Sounds like you've made an absolute ton of strides for yourself. Awesome weight loss goal achieving too! I lost 40 pounds since starting HRT, but I'm not exercising, just eating healthier. (Strangely I don't know where I lost the weight from - I was skinny before, I'm curvy skinny now).

What sort of comparison are you wondering about?
How you're doing for yourself? (Amazing!)
How you're doing compared to others? (Don't sweat what others are doing. You do you!)

Kids can be sometimes way more accepting than adults... and the family/parents thing can be really scary and daunting. Just take it one step at a time and build up your support before taking that step.

Hair *can* come back with HRT, though it can have varying success. There is no shame in a rocking wig if you want hair.

When I started getting my voice back to where I could pass on the phone, I almost exclusively practiced in the car. It was just something I worked on a little every day, and now I sound pretty okay (I'm told I sound great but I'm still a huge critic). Just take it slowly and don't strain your voice, and if you're in doubt on how you want to sound or how to achieve it, there are speech pathologists and voice trainers and YouTube all with great resources and methods available.

Just take it a day at a time, and don't miss out on the life happening around you right now.

Hi Ruth,

I think you're doing fine. You're about where I am.

A few things to keep in mind that I've learned:

I'm glad you started ASAP with the hair removal. I'm doing electrolysis and while it's moving along fairly quickly, it's better that I started now rather than when I go full time. With laser you may have to do some electrolysis to remove stragglers so be prepared for that. Thanks to a member here (Sydney) I found a great electrologist who is not only good but also fun to go to, since she is trans and we also have conversations.

Sex drive - it may be affected by HRT. Keep that in mind since you said you have sex with your wife. You may have to change how you enjoy each other. Low dose E alone pretty much killed it for me, so full strength HRT is likely to be far worse. That said, everyone is different.

Work - plan how you're coming out. I already talked to my HR director and I'm out to a few coworkers. It's nice to have allies. Check your state laws and company policy on non-discrimination against transgender employees. Have a plan if you're not protected.

Kids - Mine are 4 and they don't say anything. I wear skirts and dresses at home and go out andro in women's jeans and tops. However I'm presenting male much more these days as I have to use the company gym and I don't want too many questions in the locker room. It's a real drag and makes me feel so low to have to present male but I think of the goal I have in mind which is to keep me healthy so I can have no road blocks to HRT or surgeries.

Hair - At one extreme you have hair transplants and wigs. Wigs are not bad, but I don't prefer them and would like to avoid wearing one. But they look beautiful on a lot of people - Laverne Cox, for example, and a lot of people here. On the other extreme you can grow out and style your existing hair. In the middle you have drugs like Minoxidil (Rogaine) and Finasteride which can help with hair regrowth. Be aware though that some drugs may decrease your sex drive.

Voice - I am at the beginning too. I am looking for a good voice therapist. DIY options aren't cutting it for me. I may opt for surgery later but right now I'm planning to see a voice therapist first before I go under the knife.

Weight loss and health - very good! I was 210lbs and I'm down to 175 or so. I drop about 2-3 lbs a week so I should be down to my target of 160-165 soon. Estrogen can cause you to gain weight but it didn't for me (I'm off it for now, I was self medicating, bad girl).

Clothes - plan on getting your own. My wife said I could wear hers but I don't feel comfortable. Besides, it doesn't fit me all that well. So I have a good bit of my own, and I did have it from when I was secretly cross dressing anyway. Clearance racks and goodwill are good ways to acquire a lot of it on the cheap.

Therapist - They've been helpful even though I totally complained about the first one. The first one left the practice which is why I had to find a new one, but the new one I'm going to seems to be well respected. Don't be afraid to open up, don't be afraid to cry, and remember that YOU are driving the conversation. But the therapist brought me out of my comfort zone. As a result I am taking real steps. She encouraged me to choose a name, deal with the facial hair and also talk to my employer. However she was a little hesitant about hormones, but she did say it's at my pace. The new one I went to asked if I was on them already, and suggested a few places. I live in NJ but all my care is in NYC so it's pretty much informed consent here.

Other family - I'm not ready to be out to my parents yet. I want to present female when I do. I might take a trip down to see them. I hate impersonal things like letters and emails, and even Skype. That said I'll be staying in a Hotel, lol. Most of my other family lives in other countries, and my brother lives in California. So it will be long distance for them. I might just come out on facebook and let the chips fall where they may, but only around when I go full time.

I think that you are doing quite well.

I would start to work on the voice now. It takes quite a while to find your feminine voice and a lot of practice to be able to pull it out consistently when needed (and to remember to use it when you are in a situation where you are taken by surprise). I'm full time and i'm still having to work on consistency with my voice; it wants to slip back down to the old voice. Use the time in your car to practice, and try singing along with the radio in your car using your best femme voice. It just takes time and practice, practice, practice. Also record yourself reading or talking; you'll cringe when you hear yourself but it's one of the best ways to measure your progress.

Hair removal - the time is NOW for that. I screwed around and started too late and I finally got my last laser done 8 weeks after I went full time. I still have electro to go, but luckily most if not all of my remaining facial hair is white or gray. Still, its going to be a royal pain to figure out now how to grow it out for electro while presenting as a female. I'll likely have to go reclusive for awhile when i'm sporting facial hair awaiting an electro appointment.

HRT probably will eventually kill your sex drive and your ability to get an erection.  You might start to think about how to prepare your wife for that. Notice I didn't say it would kill your love life; just that it may have to change from the old PIV way.

Congrats on the impressive weight loss. I'm always glad to hear that someone has managed to do that both from a better health perspective as well as a better self image prospective.

Like someone else said - hair may or may not come back when HRT starts. I have a bare spot on the back of my head (thanks dad!) that has very slowly begun to reforest but I don't think it's going to be enough. I'm resigned to wearing a wig for now. If a wig is in your future you can either visit a wig store or if that scares you another option is to buy cheap wigs on ebay to figure out the best style for you. They can usually be returned if you don't like them so all you pay is return shipping. I went the ebay way and tried several styles before I found one that I liked. Wigs require the same care that your own hair does so you'll need wig shampoo and wig conditioners. The synthetic wigs of today look surprisingly realistic. Human hair wigs cost cubic money and are out of my price range.

Congrats on the success of dealing with the addiction issue too 

Thanks ladies, sometimes a girl just needs to hear that she is doing alright

Hi, I am posting cause I just wanted to say I was also really scared of practicing my voice too. I even felt embarrassed and anxious just practicing alone by myself. However it is very important to do it and do start as early as possible. There is no magic trick to doing it, just hard work. So in the nicest possible way, I strongly suggest you get over it and get started

A voice is as important as any other aspect of transition, all by itself.

PS Check out finasteride or dutasteride. Some people have had ridiculously effective results with them. Be aware of the side effects though experienced by a minority of users.