Does being called a ->-bleeped-<- actually bother you?

[Jess42]

Names don't bother me too much. I don't really care for the term ->-bleeped-<- though. Personally I think it one of those outdated terms. The only thing that bothers me is being called and "It". ->-bleeped-<-, she-male, he-she and all the others still describe a human just like the B word, W word, C word, he, she, him and her but calling someone an "It" strips a person of their humanity and suggests that the person is nothing more than an object. Something less than human. We are someones, not somethings.

[ImagineKate]

Meh ->-bleeped-<- sounds so... as if someone doesn't takes you serious. I don't like it to be called a ->-bleeped-<-. Also because ->-bleeped-<-s are often confused with travestites when with cis people.

Yeah this.

I don't want to be called a ->-bleeped-<-. It implies that you're not real and authentic and that you're fake and pretending.

The context is important too.

I have been called racial slurs already, such as "coolie" and "rag head" and "sand n-word", even though I don't wear any head gear (I don't belong to any religion that requires it). It bothered me a lot in school, but the teachers really did not do anything about it because I suspect they were racist too. I did get used to it though and I don't let it slow me down. But it does bother me. I suspect it will be the same with "->-bleeped-<-."

[Devlyn]

We're getting closer than I'm comfortable with to making ->-bleeped-<-s feel unwelcome here. ->-bleeped-<-s use this site for support, too.

Hugs, Devlyn

[LizMarie]

->-bleeped-<- means different things in different situations.

In the gay male drag culture, it's a term of endearment, hence why RuPaul and several of his contestants see nothing wrong with the term.

However, in wider culture, the term ->-bleeped-<- often is associated with prostitution, perversion, and is frequently used as an insult against transwomen when they are being attacked. Even those murdered may have heard it as the last word they heard, based on admissions from from various transwomen murderers over the years.

So the term ->-bleeped-<- can be considered very very "loaded" and while some are not offended by it at all, for others it can be triggering (making them recall prior physical assaults, for instance), so I would urge everyone to be respectful of others and generally refrain from using the term unless you are sure others are ok with it. And be willing to stop using it if asked.

It's a complicated word with a complicated history, some of that history being very ugly.

[Jess42]

We're getting closer than I'm comfortable with to making ->-bleeped-<-s feel unwelcome here. ->-bleeped-<-s use this site for support, too.

Hugs, Devlyn

I'm sorry Devlyn. I didn't mean any harm. That is just the word everyone used when I was growing up for anyone that cross dressed all the way to have sexual reassignment surgery. The term sex change gives me the same feeling. I'm sorry because I didn't mean any harm, it was just the way the word was used when I was growing up, and usually in a negative sort of way. Plus coming to terms with myself and hearing people call everyone transgender a ->-bleeped-<- is the reason why. It don't bother me as much as remind me of those years. Once I came to terms wit myself and accepted it fully, no problem but it just brings back certain memories.

So my deepest apologies. I am so sorry.

[kathyk]

Simple.  Yes, I'm mad as hell when someone calls me that, and I don't use the word.  If someone wants to call themselves something that's not acceptable to most transsexuals I don't care, and they're more than welcome to do so.  Just leave me and my friends out of it.

[LilDevilOfPrada]

We're getting closer than I'm comfortable with to making ->-bleeped-<-s feel unwelcome here. ->-bleeped-<-s use this site for support, too.

Hugs, Devlyn

In no way do I mean to insult ->-bleeped-<-s but the question was does the term annoy us and I think it is fair to say we are girls, ->-bleeped-<-s are guys who enjoy pretty cloths. Its that guy part held in the meaning that annoys me not the concept.

[Devlyn]

Yes, the question was does the term bother you. So everyone should tell us if it bothers them, not who they THINK the person using the term is comparing them to.

[LilDevilOfPrada]

Yes, the question was does the term bother you. So everyone should tell us if it bothers them, not who they THINK the person using the term is comparing them to.

Okay, I accept that and I apologize.

[Devlyn]

I'm sorry Devlyn. I didn't mean any harm. That is just the word everyone used when I was growing up for anyone that cross dressed all the way to have sexual reassignment surgery. The term sex change gives me the same feeling. I'm sorry because I didn't mean any harm, it was just the way the word was used when I was growing up, and usually in a negative sort of way. Plus coming to terms with myself and hearing people call everyone transgender a ->-bleeped-<- is the reason why. It don't bother me as much as remind me of those years. Once I came to terms wit myself and accepted it fully, no problem but it just brings back certain memories.

So my deepest apologies. I am so sorry.

Okay, I accept that and I apologize.

Thanks, I wasn't looking for apologies, I just bristle when any transgender person is cast in a bad light on a support site, and I try to remind people to be aware of what they're posting.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Jess42]

Thanks, I wasn't looking for apologies, I just bristle when any transgender person is cast in a bad light on a support site, and I try to remind people to be aware of what they're posting.

Hugs, Devlyn

I'm a big girl. I can apologize when my butt overrides my brain. I should have explained why to begin with.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Since I would like to be perceived as a cis woman someone calling me a ->-bleeped-<- (not even trans or something less offensive) yes it would bother me.
But no one has said it to my face.

[cathyrains]

Simply as a label or comment, no, it doesn't bother me.

[Squircle]

I've never been called it but I hate the word. It's most commonly used by prejudiced people (at least where I live) and sensationalist stories in the media. Fair enough it's not the worst thing to be called, but if someone were to shout it at me in the street I'd be looking for the quickest way out of the area because there'd be a good chance violence could follow.

[Natalie]

I completely lack the ability to be affected by insults, name-calling or other invective reactions from people. If I have no social bond with the person it's virtually impossible for me to even be able to empathize with them. It is the end result of all the discrimination, violence, and aggression I went through when I began that has caused this change...and I have no desire for it to revert. Words only have power if you give them the power to affect your emotional state.

[TSJasmine]

I love how quickly this blew up haha The mixed opinions are interesting but they all narrow down to the fact that it's because it's an overall derogative term. Maybe I'll stop saying it as much :p

[Ms Grace]

Fortunately I've never been called "->-bleeped-<-" - I think that if it happened I would need to evaluate the situation, the context and the person who said it. Generally I don't think I would be very impressed regardless, especially if it came from a cis person. I consider myself a person first and foremost, other labels be damned.

...it's an overall derogative term...

Yes it is.

[Natalie]

Fortunately I've never been called "->-bleeped-<-" - I think that if it happened I would need to evaluate the situation, the context and the person who said it. Generally I don't think I would be very impressed regardless, especially if it came from a cis person. I consider myself a person first and foremost, other labels be damned.

I've been called it all on multiple occasions and in multiple social settings.

[Myarkstir]

->-bleeped-<- means different things in different situations.

In the gay male drag culture, it's a term of endearment, hence why RuPaul and several of his contestants see nothing wrong with the term.

However, in wider culture, the term ->-bleeped-<- often is associated with prostitution, perversion, and is frequently used as an insult against transwomen when they are being attacked. Even those murdered may have heard it as the last word they heard, based on admissions from from various transwomen murderers over the years.

So the term ->-bleeped-<- can be considered very very "loaded" and while some are not offended by it at all, for others it can be triggering (making them recall prior physical assaults, for instance), so I would urge everyone to be respectful of others and generally refrain from using the term unless you are sure others are ok with it. And be willing to stop using it if asked.

It's a complicated word with a complicated history, some of that history being very ugly.

This

Also search the internet for that word : ->-bleeped-<-.

So does it trigger me? Nope
Will that person feel shamed once i am done explaining what the word means? Probably for those who didn't mean it.

[Lady_Oracle]

Yes it bothers me because it distorts my identity and adds a level of fetishism. Everything in context of course and how the word is used. Cis women aren't called ->-bleeped-<-s and when they are its used as an insult. Drag culture isn't the majority so just because they freely throw the word around doesn't justify it becoming the norm to describe us that are actually in transition. It's bad enough there's enough confusion over our community concerning language, that word does nothing but add to that confusion. trans women are women, that word just makes it more difficult for proper education to get across.