Does being called a ->-bleeped-<- actually bother you?

[Tori]

It really depends on context for me. I still use the term myself from time to time but I am very conscious of when or how I use it. Usually I use it is self deprecating and self referential ways.

I have certainly changed my overall opinion of the word in the last few years. I used to see no harm in it at all. That has changed.

[Jaime R D]

I don't like the term. The few times someone has called me that, I've told them that if they wish to remain in my presence, they had better never use it again for me.   

[kaye]

I've never been called it but I hate the word. It's most commonly used by prejudiced people (at least where I live) and sensationalist stories in the media. Fair enough it's not the worst thing to be called, but if someone were to shout it at me in the street I'd be looking for the quickest way out of the area because there'd be a good chance violence could follow.

I'd be looking to confront them. I give as good as I get.

[JustASeq]

I've used it to joke about myself for example "->-bleeped-<- loving ->-bleeped-<-." Since I skateboard and mainly on transition (ramps, pools etc.) I thought it made sense and the term sounded funny and the sentence could be completely flipped and still be the same. Also I am queer and since starting to transition have only dated/played with other trans* identifying people. I prefer to hear and just use "trans" in my everyday speech over "->-bleeped-<-" though.

l think it's okay for other trans* people to use it, so long as it isn't with malice. When it comes to cis people, I feel like the word doesn't belong to them, they have no right to use it. I have never been called a ->-bleeped-<- by a stranger, but if it were between "That's a dude!" or "That's a ->-bleeped-<-!" I'd have to choose the latter. To me being called a man is an insult, but I am definitely trans so......

[SilentRain]

Being called a ->-bleeped-<- hasn't & I don't feel it ever will bother me. I even call myself it sometimes. I don't view it as offensive & I never really have but I noticed a lot of people on here get offended when someone calls them a ->-bleeped-<-  Why is that? What's so offensive about it? It's a slur somewhat but I can't see it in a negative context unless someone is like "OH SH**, THAT'S A ->-bleeped-<-!" or something rude like that. So I'm wondering , do you guys find it rude? Or are there a lot more like me who honestly just don't care?

Yes it does, I am a girl, not a ->-bleeped-<-, heshe, shehe, ->-bleeped-<-, ->-bleeped-<-, sheman, manwoman, "it," or "that" "this thing"  "the___" that is not girl.. or any other kinds of silliness. ->-bleeped-<- is an honest mistake, nothing else. I can tolerate people calling me without frequency: trans woman/girl, transgender female and the most offensive thing I can tolerate, is a MtF transexual.
I am a girl first, transgender person second. (Of course a human heing is before girl)

[Jade_404]

I went by a DOT alert sign yesterday night on the highway. I was going by it fast but I felt like it was calling me Trans, it said...

Have your Trans-
ponder ready
for easy access.

But i read it as "Have your Trans ready for easy access"... I was like WOW what did that sign just say? It kind of messed with my head.

[Kaylee Angelia]

It bothers me because I don't like being considered a catchy "label." I am me. I am a human being worthy of respect. I'm not a wop, chink, dago, jap, dink, ruskie, charlie, n****r, kafer, hood rat, sand n****r,spic, mick, kraut, block head, gook... You get the idea...

When we relegate people to a derogatory label we degrade who they are...we degrade that special part of them that is unique...that spark of the Divine. We degrade the person...

[Jade_404]

If you let it bother you then they win. I learned that as a child. Brush it off. If they use it in a derogatory manner then they are ignorant. Stay away from them if you can. Ignorance is contagious don't fall into their trap.

[Emmaline]

Yes.  It bothers me that the person saying it is uneducated.

[Squircle]

If you let it bother you then they win. I learned that as a child. Brush it off. If they use it in a derogatory manner then they are ignorant. Stay away from them if you can. Ignorance is contagious don't fall into their trap.

If we ignore it and don't say as a community that this word isn't ok then they win, because they carry on using it, and they get to carry on 'othering' us.

[Jade_404]

If we ignore it and don't say as a community that this word isn't ok then they win, because they carry on using it, and they get to carry on 'othering' us.

Even if we say as a community that it is wrong, they won't understand and still call us that, remember they are ignorant, we can't fix stupid.

I have been called all kinds of things, I can't even remember how many times. I don't dwell on it and I don't let it effect me. And the word ->-bleeped-<- does not even sound that bad to me, I could list a bunch of worse vulgar names I have heard, ->-bleeped-<- is mild in comparison.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

It really depends on context for me. I still use the term myself from time to time but I am very conscious of when or how I use it. Usually I use it is self deprecating and self referential ways.

I have certainly changed my overall opinion of the word in the last few years. I used to see no harm in it at all. That has changed.

I honestly couldn't care less. It doesn't offend me. It's just a word. It's the context that counts. If someone were to use it in a disrespectful or malicious manner, then sure, that would bother me, because they were being disrespectful or malicious. If someone was innocuously using it in the place of 'transgender,' then it wouldn't bother me. Depending on the situation, I might tell them I prefer they refer to me as a trans girl, if it's necessary to bring my transgender status into the conversation at all. Otherwise I'd prefer they just address me as any other woman and leave any references to me being trans out of it.

My thoughts.

I still try to avoid using it and most people I spend time with do too.  The only person who regularly uses it is a cross-dresser from Chameleons I get on well with.

[Rachel]

I have not been called ->-bleeped-<- this week. My wife and daughter have used it a lot especially when being disrespectful. I think they both have anger issues toward  me because I hid my gender from them and they really do not like me. They loved the other guy but he died.

I told them it has a sex worker (nothing wrong with being a sex worker) porn background and is meant as a slur. Also, I told them it makes them sound like a bigot.

[Jaime R D]

Simply put, I think it reduces you from a person to being a medical condition, dehumanizing and its most common use by those who don't accept us is to degrade someone, be they cis or trans. I don't care to hear it from trans people either. I figure if we don't want someone outside our community calling us that, regardless of the context, then we shouldn't either, you know, be a good example and all.

[Kaylee Angelia]

Simply put, I think it reduces you from a person to being a medical condition, dehumanizing and its most common use by those who don't accept us is to degrade someone, be they cis or trans. I don't care to hear it from trans people either. I figure if we don't want someone outside our community calling us that, regardless of the context, then we shouldn't either, you know, be a good example and all.

I couldn't have said it better myself Jaime. My thoughts exactly.

[Foxglove]

In my experience (though perhaps other people's is different) whenever a cisperson uses this word, they virtually always intend it as an insult.  I think it's up to each person to decide for themselves how they'll react to it.

It bothers me because I don't like being considered a catchy "label." I am me. I am a human being worthy of respect. I'm not a wop, chink, dago, jap, dink, ruskie, charlie, n****r, kafer, hood rat, sand n****r,spic, mick, kraut, block head, gook... You get the idea...

When we relegate people to a derogatory label we degrade who they are...we degrade that special part of them that is unique...that spark of the Divine. We degrade the person...

But I would fully agree with Kaylee's post here.  Consider all the slurs she's listed.  Would any of us use any of those terms?  I don't think so.  So there's no reason for transpeople not to object to "->-bleeped-<-" if we choose to.  The intent is to degrade us just as all those other terms are intended to degrade.  Again, just a question of how an individual reacts to such insults.

Words are funny.  So much depends on how they're said.  I grew up in the US but have lived in Ireland for half my life.  I remember once when somebody called me "You Yankee b*stard!"  It really shocked me, because he put a lot of venom in it.  And when a term is used like that, it can pull the rug out from under you.  But this was one I wasn't bothered about for long, because the guy saying it was a fairly low creature, enjoyed no respect in the neighbourhood and was generally shunned by people.

People who use such slurs demonstrate that they're worthy of them themselves.

[Jade_404]

I guess it used to bother me the most when people called me a girl when I was growing up. They did so in a very derogatory manner. Sometimes they add something before the word girl to make it sting more.  You know the words. But now I don't give a crap what anyone calls me, I am not in grade 1. When I am called a girl now, I smile. If I am called anything else I just smile too, a fake smile or confused smile. When I am called a girl now I smile on the inside as well as on the outside. I guess I might react differently if someone was in my face, total a-hole about it. I have not had that happen in a long time, I think the smile calms them, they can't tell what I have up my sleeve and my smile turns menacing if they don't calm down. Then they walk away mumbling crap. Maybe I been lucky. Or maybe I have a real menacing smile if I need it.

Who knows, but I am old enough to know that if I make a big deal about a word like ->-bleeped-<- , or any of the other labels people might call me, then I am giving THEM the power to control me. You know what, no one controls me except me. I refuse to let it bother me, and I refuse to let others root that term in our collective consciousness as a word they can use to upset us. A power word. I don't want to be called it, but If I am I won't let it control me.

Love,
Jade
<--- menacing enough?

[Squircle]

Even if we say as a community that it is wrong, they won't understand and still call us that, remember they are ignorant, we can't fix stupid.

I have been called all kinds of things, I can't even remember how many times. I don't dwell on it and I don't let it effect me. And the word ->-bleeped-<- does not even sound that bad to me, I could list a bunch of worse vulgar names I have heard, ->-bleeped-<- is mild in comparison.

There are plenty of people who perhaps use it without realising how offensive it can be. Just like how other groups have made a stand against certain words, we have to do the same. I don't personally think ->-bleeped-<- is mild, plenty of posts here explain why more eloquently than I can. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to have a bit of your 'don't give a ****' attitude  . 

[Kamiki]

I have never been called such myself.

But the word, to me, carries far too much baggage associated with fetishism, drag queens and she-male pornography for me to be comfortable with; as such it is a less than appealing word in every way, and is simply not cricket with me.

Kami.

[Jade_404]

I have never been called such myself.

But the word, to me, carries far too much baggage associated with fetishism, drag queens and she-male pornography for me to be comfortable with; as such it is a less than appealing word in every way, and is simply not cricket with me.

Kami.

Yeah Sorry, I guess I don't read into the baggage or definition of a word when its being spewed by an idiot. Why would I take the time. If my friend were calling me that or referring me to his friends as that, I would ask them not to. It is not a pretty label. When its strangers, I don't let this word or any another word sting. When I was younger tho... I could snap on ya, if you said the wrong thing to me or one of my friends. Been in fights been in jail, sent people to hospital. Been in court... Got the book thrown at me. Learned to shut up and just smile. Now I am cautious, Be ready for a fight but never escalate one. So far since I changed my attitude I have been in only 1 fight since, and that was because a freeloader would not get out of my house, so it was different. He started that fight by attacking me.

So yes I agree its not nice to say or be called, but is it "Fighting Words?  No I think not. And I don't want friends referring to me as their ->-bleeped-<- friend either. My friends are smart enough to know that without being told. I don't friend idiots.

Love,
Jade