Do I Look, or Could I Pass, as Female? 4.0

[MortifiedPenguin]

Hello.
Sorry, just thought I would ask some others here about my appearance.
I know that I am messed up (being trans and all), and I should give all this stuff up. However, I am still curious to know if I could look attractive if I choose to transition, and especially if I start hormone therapy.
I often wish I could transition, but my heart aches at me doing such a selfish thing, when people still suffer in hunger and disease. Why should I spend my money on myself when others need it far more?
Sorry to be so morbid...
Here:



Thank you for your input and your support. I ask for no favors, but appreciate your input.
-Mortified Penguin

[silentone]

Wow you look great.  I am sure when you start you will look amazing.  I wish I had your hair for sure and face

My hair gets grows so fast and gets so thick it becomes a burden.

[cindy16]

@ Mortified Penguin: I think you already look great, and might even pass with some make-up etc. HRT should work well for you and make passing even easier.
About your question on the selfishness of transition, here's what i think.. do you feel you can be happy as you are now, live the way you want to, and do what you would love to do (including doing something for those suffering from hunger and disease, if that's what you want to do)? If yes, then you may not need to transition at all.
But if not, then it is better to do something for yourself first and be happy with yourself. That way, you will be able to do much better at whatever you want to do.

That's my take on it, but if you are seriously confused about this, it's better to talk to a therapist. But coming back to the topic of this thread, you look great and need not worry about passing.

[Joanne Feliz]

Hi Carmen,

thanks for the lovely words of encouragement.  I hope I can get better,  I have anxiety that I left it too late.

I think you look super,  you have such a beautiful and friendly face.

I am happy you can put a face to my post now i am exited about the future and the changes that will happen and the new chapter opening in my life.

ps no one has called me Ms beautiful before   

[misty2]

Hello.
Sorry, just thought I would ask some others here about my appearance.
I know that I am messed up (being trans and all), and I should give all this stuff up. However, I am still curious to know if I could look attractive if I choose to transition, and especially if I start hormone therapy.
I often wish I could transition, but my heart aches at me doing such a selfish thing, when people still suffer in hunger and disease. Why should I spend my money on myself when others need it far more?
Sorry to be so morbid...
Here:



Thank you for your input and your support. I ask for no favors, but appreciate your input.
-Mortified Penguin

Dear Beautiful, unique, penguin,

When you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant instructs you to put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others.  Why is this an important rule for ensuring survival?  Because if you run out of oxygen, you can't help anyone else with their oxygen mask.

These thoughts are not only mine, they have been used by many as a metaphor, but I think they hold particular true for you. This is an important metaphor for those of you who run around taking care of everything and everyone else except yourself.

If you don't take care of yourself, you can experience burnout, stress, fatigue, reduced mental effectiveness, health problems, anxiety, frustration, inability to sleep, (and even death).  Are you experiencing any of these symptoms?

It's time to let go of the guilt and the excuses, and put your oxygen mask first.

Kind Regards,

Danielle

[androgynouspainter26]

I'm at my two year mark for hormones, and I want to to see how I'm doing-I have my avatar pic, and also one uploaded here just to point out how unfortunately tall and spindly I am (six feet).  Please don't be kind for the sake of being kind; people do stare at me from time to time, and I'm trying to figure out why.  I know that sometimes, people here want to make the posters feel good about themselves, no matter what they look like.  Don't do that here.  I'm not looking to feel good about myself, I'm trying to figure out what my options are given that I am not going to be happy until I can pass 100% of the time, end of story.

[amber roskamp]

Idk why they stare. I don't really have anything negative to say tbh.I always thought you looked pretty tbh. Especially in ur avatar pic. Thing that may help is breast enhancements. I dont think u need them but it would help I guess. I don't think u need ffs either. Maybe they are staring at you for other reasons like ur unique style, or maybe they think ur got hot

[missymay]

It's probably due to your height (I'm also 6ft), tall women stand out, and tend to garner more attention.

[Sincerely Tegan]

Hello.
Sorry, just thought I would ask some others here about my appearance.
I know that I am messed up (being trans and all), and I should give all this stuff up. However, I am still curious to know if I could look attractive if I choose to transition, and especially if I start hormone therapy.
I often wish I could transition, but my heart aches at me doing such a selfish thing, when people still suffer in hunger and disease. Why should I spend my money on myself when others need it far more?
Sorry to be so morbid...
Thank you for your input and your support. I ask for no favors, but appreciate your input.
-Mortified Penguin

Penguin,
If you are trans, then that alone does not make you messed up. The very fact that you're speaking of helping others, and the greater good, really shows that your head and your heart are in the right place, and that's good. You want to take care of others, an admirable quality, but as has been stated you also need to take care of yourself. That is not selfish; that is healthy.

I want you to consider something: maybe you are not as messed up as you believe, and maybe transition is what you need in your life in order to see that. When I first came here, I describe myself as "action-packed with issues." These days, I have more peace in my mind and heart than I think I ever have. Since I have begun transition, many things in my life have fallen into place, and many others have been placed in a much more positive and manageable perspective. Turns out I was experiencing so much trouble with life because I am Tegan, but I never allowed myself to be. Since I began to accept myself, and to move down the path toward authenticity, things started coming up Tegi.

It's just something to consider. Having ownership of your own life should not be seen as a selfish luxury.

With all that said, you would transition beautifully. You are already close to passing even without the hormones. I look forward to seeing your progress should you choose that route.

Just remember, if transitioning is something you think about all the time, then those thoughts won't get away. Imagine all the headspace you'll free up if you just bite the bullet, and take care of yourself this once.

Cheers,
Teg

PM if you need to chat. 

[Sincerely Tegan]

I'm at my two year mark for hormones, and I want to to see how I'm doing-I have my avatar pic, and also one uploaded here just to point out how unfortunately tall and spindly I am (six feet).  Please don't be kind for the sake of being kind; people do stare at me from time to time, and I'm trying to figure out why.  I know that sometimes, people here want to make the posters feel good about themselves, no matter what they look like.  Don't do that here.  I'm not looking to feel good about myself, I'm trying to figure out what my options are given that I am not going to be happy until I can pass 100% of the time, end of story.

Painter,

Could you perhaps post some more pictures, with your front and side, and close-ups on your face? From what I see you have a beautiful body and a very pretty face so I don't know why anybody's gaze would linger on you except to admire you. But if feedback is what you are looking for, give us more to go on, please.

As a sidenote, I am also 6 feet tall, with large feet, so I feel your pain, sister. 

PM me if you ever want to chat.

Cheers,
Tegan

[MortifiedPenguin]

thank you for your kind words.
I have been trying to accept myself for who, or I guess what, I am. Believe me, I do enjoy the idea of transition. I would enjoy being seen as I wish to. I however do not wish to contribute to immoral or selfish behavior as a whole. Sorry to sound rude in saying that.
I wish to live a clean, contributing life for people in general. I hope to not disgrace my family with my actions. I wish to prove that I am worth what I have been given due to the random circumstance I was given.

Just to be clear: I am 19 years old, almost 20. I am 5'9"/5'10" tall, 130-ish lbs. I have perpetually worried about weight, and I hope I am at a healthy level currently.



I also wished to state clearly that these photos are of me in "guy mode": no makeup, just my average daily wear.

Thank you all, and I hope that I am not a bother,
-MortifiedPenguin

[sonson]

I however do not wish to contribute to immoral or selfish behavior as a whole. Sorry to sound rude in saying that.
I hope to not disgrace my family with my actions. I wish to prove that I am worth what I have been given due to the random circumstance I was given.

im sorry you feel that way. it sounds like this is a strong mindset you have about transition so I wont try too hard  to change your mind. i'll just say that, unless you are strongly religious, I dont understand why you would view it as such an "immoral" choice. if transition would make your life happier, then that seems like a sad and unfair objective moral code to live by, considering the random circumstances you've been given.

for what its worth, i think you look very pretty and would pass very nicely.
I hope you find happiness in whatever path you may choose!

[amber roskamp]

I have been trying to accept myself for who, or I guess what, I am. Believe me, I do enjoy the idea of transition. I would enjoy being seen as I wish to. I however do not wish to contribute to immoral or selfish behavior as a whole. Sorry to sound rude in saying that.
I wish to live a clean, contributing life for people in general. I hope to not disgrace my family with my actions. I wish to prove that I am worth what I have been given due to the random circumstance I was given.

Hun, transitioning doesn't make you immoral. I am assuming that you are religious if you came to that conclusion. it is ok if you are. I know many very good trans people that are far more worried about helping others then almost any cis person I know. There are great people who are trans and there are great people who aren't. transitioning has literally nothing to do with morality. Life isn't so simple to say that every thing is bad and good. Most things are neither bad or good. transitioning is neither it is just something we do to help us feel complete, and to help us cope with our trans identity.

To be honest I have become a much better person since I started my transition. I have gotten involved with activism, im going to start a affordable trans housing cooperative, and I have let 2 different trans individuals who where homeless live with me even though they were previously strangers. If I decided that I shouldn't transition none of that would have happened. I was selfish and constantly thinking about why my life had to be the way that it was beforehand. Now I think how do I help people like me who are struggling.

also you have to take ur time when you debating whether or not you should transition. You are young and based off ur pics you are already fairly feminine. I would recommend seeing a gender therapist. I personally would recommend exploring with certain things like make-up and hairstyling products. if you don't feel safe doing this in ur house I would recommend moving out.

[MortifiedPenguin]

Thank you all for your kind words.


Morality aside, I was curious as to how well I could hope to be seen as female.
I have been labeled as androgynous for quite some time, and took this to mean I had a good chance of being seen as female.
I leave it up to the jury to decide,
-MortifiedPenguin

[AbbyKat]

I'm at my two year mark for hormones, and I want to to see how I'm doing-I have my avatar pic, and also one uploaded here just to point out how unfortunately tall and spindly I am (six feet).  Please don't be kind for the sake of being kind; people do stare at me from time to time, and I'm trying to figure out why.  I know that sometimes, people here want to make the posters feel good about themselves, no matter what they look like.  Don't do that here.  I'm not looking to feel good about myself, I'm trying to figure out what my options are given that I am not going to be happy until I can pass 100% of the time, end of story.

I'm gonna be totally honest here.  Have you ever considered that people might just be staring at you the same way they would stare at any other hot girl?  I mean, I get it; the paranoia of being a transwoman makes a girl assume people are constantly trying to assess your gender but maybe... just maybe they totally aren't. 

Based on the avatar photo and body shot, I would assume people are just checking out a tall and pretty woman.

[amber roskamp]

I'm gonna be totally honest here.  Have you ever considered that people might just be staring at you the same way they would stare at any other hot girl?  I mean, I get it; the paranoia of being a transwoman makes a girl assume people are constantly trying to assess your gender but maybe... just maybe they totally aren't. 

Based on the avatar photo and body shot, I would assume people are just checking out a tall and pretty woman.

seriously you are built like a fashion model. and you have a beautiful face.

disclaimer: this isn't sugar coating.

[VikingArchangel]

Here goes! First image is pre-everything, second is a few hours ago at 4 months HRT and about 40lbs lighter (And 2 laser sessions in). Hoping Dr. Cardenas can do something about the chin/nose issue.

[amber roskamp]

Here goes! First image is pre-everything, second is a few hours ago at 4 months HRT and about 40lbs lighter (And 2 laser sessions in). Hoping Dr. Cardenas can do something about the chin/nose issue.

wow you look so much better in the second pic! Like 15 years younger as well. definitely great progress. I am picturing u with boobs (and an overall femme body) and i can definitely see a butch women . I would get some cute earrings if i were you. I think ffs will definitely help but it seems like hrt and lasers and weight loss have done a lot already.

Also i would like to say that i think short hair looks good on you. especially if you get some cute earrings.

[VikingArchangel]

  - Thanks!

Oh, the girls came out to say "Hi!" a couple months ago. My sister (cis) figured me out on sight cause of that. High-impact, low-profile sports bras work wonders for guy mode.

[amber roskamp]

- Thanks!

Oh, the girls came out to say "Hi!" a couple months ago. My sister (cis) figured me out on sight cause of that. High-impact, low-profile sports bras work wonders for guy mode.

Ahh! im jealous. I am still waiting for mine. oh well.....its only been a month and a half for me.