Davida (I've always thought that was beautiful name, by the way!)
I know for me, my biggest focus, was making sure I was ready.
I don't mean that at all in the "am I sure I want to do this" way. I've known that from the time I was just a kid, for me, it was the start of being the person who I really was, and the end of the pretending, so it was very important to me to make sure that I really made sure that I was fully embracing myself and not hiding or closing off any part of me. I think when you live you life pushing something so large down, it really becomes an easy mechanism to fall back on to shove things down and hide them away. So, I really made sure I took that box when I'd been shoving and hiding things, flipped it over and really shook it and made sure everything was out of there!
The other way I prepared myself, which has been my guiding star, is to really develop a really positive, patient, graceful outlook on my transition. That I focus on working hard on the things I have control over, and am calm and patient about the things I can't. This seems obvious, but it think it really took me 5-6 months of really hard work to honest get settled in that mindset, and it has just made all the difference for me to this point, because, I'm not saying anything new when I say, it's a really slow process.
After that, I focused on finding a core support group. I wanted to start by coming out to one friend, one family member, and one person at work, so I could be open and have that support in all parts of my life. I picked the people that I thought would be the most receptive and open to it to start, and was lucky enough to have picked well, that they were all tremendously supportive... We'll my friend, and boss... My mother is still struggling a bit with it, but that's all part of the process.
From there, I found the second you can start talking to a few different people about it, and answering questions, and such, the easier it gets, and the more comfortable and confident you become, and it starts getting easier and easier to opening up that support circle to more and more people as you're ready to and time goes on, but being able to start from that core group was so helpful.
Other than that, think about some practical things than you can do to help move your transition ahead: hair removal, voice training, name changing, etc. I made myself a little list, and it was really useful to have anytime I thought that things were stalling out waiting for referrals or appointments or the like, to be able to go back to and have something to do to regain that sense of moving forward.
I hope some of that helps!
Giselle Marie
