I want us all to simply be ourselves and leave others be unless they are perpetuating harmful behavior. I have absolutely nothing against a trans man who wears flannel and has a beard and drives a big truck and works out a lot. That's cool, that's him. But then still, if a trans man is gay and likes neon colors and interior design that's fine too. And if a trans woman likes motorcycles and whiskey and dresses, she isn't weird or any less of a woman. Some of us are in that more traditional definition of masculine or feminine. Some of us are in between. I agree with the idea that a lot of the violence within our own community comes from people who have allowed themselves to fall beneath the expectations of the people who are against any trans persons existence. It's kind of like internalized misogyny and sexism. Our society and culture is so affluent with something, that some of us forget to think for ourselves, we absorb it, and then don't even realize that trying to police people's gender by some strict definition is just as bad whether you're trans or not. And just because some people accept the trans people who they determine are "deserving" of being called by their gender they identify as, that isn't acceptable itself. Giving a few trans people a gold star sticker and saying okay long as you're like this, I'll accept you, is a kind of violence itself. A man is a man if he says he is. A woman is a woman if that's her identity. Our clothes or how much we shave, or our hobbies, do not determine if we get to be called by our own identity. I do wish more of us would break from the binary. A scale can't define a human being, we are far more complex than that, and we do ourselves a disservice by perpetuating it. Most people even ones who do fall on the extreme ends of the binary probably have some parts of themselves that do not fit that. And I believe we would all live happier lives if we accepted that a big bearded man might like ballet or that that a woman who loves dresses and high heels and gets her nails done every week also wants to be a mechanic. It's a personal thing. It's all okay. And yes trying to focus on yourself and what makes you happy and feels right is very important. But even the most self confident person can be affected by cruelty or judgement from their peers. That's why I think it's so important we stop trying to police each other. That's why it bothers me that when I post online about wanting top surgery and raising donations for it, people accuse me of all kinds of things and say there are boys who deserve it more than me because I don't want hormones at this point in my life and don't know if I ever will. Trans people have had to deal with enough discrimination, we shouldn't have to fear each other as well. You have all made very good points. I'm glad I decided to make this post. It's been very cathartic. I didn't expect so many comments, especially ones that I wholeheartedly agree with, and it makes me confident that I can continue to come here.