Full time.. most of the time?

[Damara]

So I've been presenting as female for a while now.. About two months. However, my parents want me to not present as female around extended family yet, till I've spoken with them. I also didn't wear makeup/super feminine clothes when I went to the chiropractor a few days ago. I live in a small town and didn't want a person cracking my bones around to get any negative feelings about me. Lol! I am wondering am I still able to say I am "full time" with these few isolated cases of not presenting with totally female dress/makeup? Does anyone else have this happen?

[Damara]

you don't need to qualify what you do to anyone. when you realize this,  you can do almost anything you want (within ethical and legal bounds ).

Thank you, Hanazono! <3 I guess I'm thinking about my future therapy sessions, and I'm hoping that when she learns that I've been living as myself for quite a while she can quickly write HRT letters. But you're right!  hugs!

[MySongIsLaughter]

I'm doing a similar thing to you right now - I've been full time for about a month with the exception of times when relatives I haven't told yet might see me.

Unfortunately, we're having a big family Christmas celebration with relatives staying with us, so I guess the next few weeks will be a vacation from full time!

[Damara]

I'm doing a similar thing to you right now - I've been full time for about a month with the exception of times when relatives I haven't told yet might see me.

Unfortunately, we're having a big family Christmas celebration with relatives staying with us, so I guess the next few weeks will be a vacation from full time!

That's so frustrating! Or would be to me. I think my presenting as female would be a great way to break the news to all of them. My parents want a little more nuance. Hahah! I do know for sure that some of the family know of me because I'm out on fb and they see my posts. 

[Brenda E]

you don't need to qualify what you do to anyone. when you realize this,  you can do almost anything you want (within ethical and legal bounds ).

Hanazono is right.  Forget the label "full time".  That doesn't mean that you're 100% feminine 100% of the time.  If you're living your life as you want to in terms of your gender, then you're full time.  An isolated few incidents of having to tone it down a little for the benefit of your great aunt over Christmas doesn't make you less full time, nor does not wearing super-feminine clothes to see the chiropractor.

So yes, you can of course say you're full time.

[suzifrommd]

you don't need to qualify what you do to anyone. when you realize this,  you can do almost anything you want (within ethical and legal bounds ).

It's a little more complicated than that. Living full-time is a requirement for surgery and the WPATH standards of care, in a shocking and sickening example of paternalism, directs therapists actually to check up on you by talking to other people in your life to see if you're really living full-time.

If your therapist takes this seriously, there might be a problem if he/she finds out you're not full-time.

So the bottom line is that it might depend on the therapist(s) who write your surgery letters.

If you're not interested in surgery, than that's all a moot point - live the way you want.

[laure_natasha]

Be yourself, make your own path. If you want to present female at Xmas and respect your parents wishes, drop some emails or make some calls or even do it on FB then do as you wish. I wouldn't get too hung up on passing the full time test or failing because of five minutes out. I am sure any decent therapist can reconcile that. If I pop to the shop first thing in the morning without my wig...am I breaking the rules. If I am selectively presenting male to not cause shock or distract attention from the event I attend, I am just being diplomatic at a cost to myself ... not failing full time. Good luck!

[mac1]

So I've been presenting as female for a while now.. About two months. However, my parents want me to not present as female around extended family yet, till I've spoken with them. I also didn't wear makeup/super feminine clothes when I went to the chiropractor a few days ago. I live in a small town and didn't want a person cracking my bones around to get any negative feelings about me. Lol! I am wondering am I still able to say I am "full time" with these few isolated cases of not presenting with totally female dress/makeup? Does anyone else have this happen?

Why don't you just split the difference? Go in casual unisex (leaning toward the feminine side) mode but not full female derss.

[ImagineKate]

Yep. I dress androgynously most of the time now. And I don't even try to hide the fact that I have developing boobs either. Makes my wife uncomfortable but I am tired of hiding, I've hid my whole life now is not the time to hide

[mac1]

Yep. I dress androgynously most of the time now. And I don't even try to hide the fact that I have developing boobs either. Makes my wife uncomfortable but I am tired of hiding, I've hid my whole life now is not the time to hide

I agree with you.  If I could manage to have boobs and get rid of that "male junk", I would make every possible effort to make both obvious.