my new gp just shut me down

[AlexW]

I've got a new gp (finally) after the last one was horrid.
The last week or so, I've been in contact, trying to get a referral. First reaction was "", second reaction was "That's nice??"after I sent a *lot* of information via email, third reaction "I'm not sure how I can help you with this", so I sent an exactly worded email about what exactly I want from her (a referral to the specialist place) and how to go about it, and she just replied "I really don't know what you want me to do, but I can't help you with this."

I just don't know ... I don't know what to do about this. She's not given me any clues to *why* she can't help, or if it's that she *won't* help.  I just want to freakin' cry forever now, I'm so confused and frustrated.

[TommySF]

Alex, I am kinda in the same boat, so to speak... check this link... From the resources page on the main site. Anyway, I got a few numbers from it I will be calling tomorrow!

http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html

One day at a time, and good enough is good enough (Re: progress)
TommySF


Tommy

[Kreuzfidel]

How are you contacting her?  Is this all done via email?  Because it may be a communication issue - in which case, a face-to-face may benefit you better in helping to explain yourself.

If you've been doing this face-to-face, however, she has a duty of care to help you - whether that's trying to understand what you need better or pointing you in the direction of someone who can.  Do you have a patient advocate or another person who can go with you to see this GP?

[Bran]

I agree this warrants an in-person conversation if you haven't had one already.  But you might also try to clarify-- you've told her how she can help you, so if she's saying "I can't help you with this," either she didn't understand you, or she really means she won't help you with this.  If she didn't understand, a clarification might work: "You can help me by referring me to doctor smith.  That's all I'm asking you for."  If she understands, but refuses, then you need to find a new GP (again), which sucks. 

And, if you're on the NHS, I think you probably can and should report her for it.  This is like refusing to prescribe birth control-- refusing to refer to a qualified specialist because of a moral conviction is inexcusable. 

[AlexW]

Our first meeting was face to face. She just sent me a message that says I should do it myself. It being contact the specialist place without a referral, which I have done before and they told me that I need a referral. That was included in the information ℹ sent her.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I'd report her if I were you.  Even though it sounds like she doesn't have much experience with trans people, if all she's needed for is a referral, I just think she likely doesn't agree with what you are pursuing and is trying to play dumb so she doesn't have to help you get what you need. 

[AndrewG]

I had a very similar problem Alex.

Did all my research before I told my GP. Phoned the GIC who said I'd need to be referred by the local community mental health team and gave me their number. Called them and was told I'd need to be referred by GP.

Finally got an appointment but it was with a GP I'd never seen before. Told him everything and he asked what it had to do with him. He finally took the details of ha written down for him.

Hadn't heard anything about the referral so I went back this week. Different doctor again. Turned out the first one did nothing but the new one was great. She was happy to look at the information I had for her and called to see how she should refer me while I was still in the room. Left happy that I'd been listened to and knowing the process has started.

If you can I'd say it's worth seeing someone else. Doesn't sound like you're going to get much support from the GP you've been emailing.


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[Mariah]

Sounds like you need a new GP. She either has no background in dealing with transgender patients or is unwilling. The GP that I had before my current one was unwilling and I quickly switched. Luckily another doctor in the clinic was willing and made sure I got the referrals and care I needed. Good luck. Hugs
Mariah


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[AlexW]

Right, after hearing nothing for several days, I sent an email directly asking her if she felt uncomfortable helping me, and saying if so, she should just tell me and I'd find another GP. I also included a link directly to the specialists website that says that I need a referral.

I'm in Denmark, not England, so can't report her to the nhs, and the local system is really perplexing. I have literally no Idea who I *should* report her to, and even if I can.

Thanks for your support, everyone, I know I don't say that often enough.

[JackBNimbul]

It does sound like she's just flat out uncomfortable with helping you...I hope she either comes to her senses or you find a better GP.