I was thinking thoroughly how to explain my response to the issue (FTMs transitioning way younger in age than MTFs, in general). Alexbb did it in the response quoted WAY below, after my HUGE rant. Very well put!
I ask everyone reading this: Just tell me, how many cases of beat up FTMs have you heard about, compared to MTFs? How many fathers do exert physical violence on their FTM "daughters", as opposed to their MTF "sons"? How many parents disown and kick out their FTM "daughter" to the streets, as opposed to their MTF "son"? How many FTMs are chased and beat up in the streets, for being "different" and a "freak", compared to MTFs? How many FTMs have as much trouble using boys' restrooms in schools, the mall, public buildings, as MTFs not 100% passable do? How many men go complain to the manager in a department store, restaurant or whatever public place, about seeing a "woman dressed as a man" using men's bathrooms, dressing rooms, or picking out male clothing? Compare and contrast that with the complaints many MTFs that are not fully passable, may get from "territorial" cis women who may think a stranger is "invading her and her cis sisters' turf". Sadly, my very own mother is one of these specimens, a total bigot, Catholic zealot, not to mention my father, both of them 100% transphobic and my dad is a misogynist as well, to boot.
Also, think about the stupid macho-minded philosophy I describe below, shared by both the western and eastern cultures, no matter how developed or underdeveloped the specific country might be:
Generally speaking, a woman changing into a man is a "step up", both in the social and financial world. It is seen as "wanting to improve" one's status.
But a man wanting to become a woman, as our current world sadly sees it, is a "step backwards", it means relinquishing a privileged status, both socially and financially, and "degrading oneself for no rational reason".
If a boy behaves or dresses girly in school, he will be bullied and beat up for sure. Even if "he" doesn't act or dress girly, if "he" isn't a total extrovert, a jock, plays sports like everybody else, but rather keeps to "himself" then "he" will be bullied, harassed and beat up throughout all school years, and will likely commit suicide, be beat up to death or, like me, do the opposite to what HER brains tell HER to do, just for self-preservation: instead of seeking hormone therapy for feminisation, one goes the other way around (in my case, bulking up, becoming a HUGE bodybuilder) to scare off all bullies in school. It worked for me in senior high and college, no more harassment, even though I was still shy and non-social; yet I was admired as a role-model by all the brainless macho neanderthals, based purely on physical appearance, while I was secretly dressing up and looking ridiculous at it. But now, all that bulking up in my school years has made my transition extremely difficult because getting rid of so much muscle, specially in the upper body is nearly impossible, not to mention the damage I did to my bone structure, specially my ribcage and back. And even so, I pass most of the time, except for old acquaintances, being a tall individual (six feet even) in the land of short people --women almost one foot shorter than me, as an average-- and a somewhat physically big individual.
All that I said before, that may happen to a MTF "boy", if you compare it with a FTM "girl", how often does that happen? Most likely "she" will be the bully, not the other way around, and "she" will most likely never be harassed or beat up, for wanting to be a guy. Called names like "butch" or whatever maybe, but a big risk of physical violence, both at school, the streets or public places, like a MTF suffers on a regular basis, I don't think so!!!
So, sadly, the stigmatized society we live in at this day and age, makes FTMs go through transition WAY MORE EASILY than MTFs (OK not easily, I meant with greatly less difficulties and roadblocks, and much less risk of physical violence).
And to top it off, to me it seems that, in passing terms, being FTM is much easier than MTF: Take testosterone, then naturally, almost "magically" develop a manly voice, get some facial and body hair, and then all you need to do is top surgery to get rid of unwanted female glands, bulk up on the upper body to balance out your big hips, if you have them, or simply wear clothes that minimize hips and maximize upper body and shoulder width and voila! You're there! I've never ever heard of FMS (facial masculinization surgery), I know there must exist something like that, but, if you compare in percentage, how many FTMs NEED TO go through that, compared to how many MTFs REALLY NEED extensive and expensive FFS in order to pass? IMO, FFS is more important for many MTFs than even SRS, to be able to "pass" socially. How about FTMs? Normally, taking T will do the trick fine, no real need for facial surgeries!
Sorry if it sounds like I am ranting and venting too much, but I honestly think that this IS the current state of affairs in the transgender world. Being a FTM is in general way easier than a MTF, so starting at a young age poses not much of a threat socially compared to what a MTF has to face, that's why IMO way more MTFs have to "wait until" they end their productive life as a pretend guy, then retire, collect their savings and finally "become themselves", in spite of already having kids and spouses, which doesn't seem to be such a frequent issue for FTMs.
Gosh sorry for all this rant, I needed to go out get some stuff at the mall, and yet stayed here in my room instead, writing all this drivel, but If I exaggerated on something I just wrote, or I am just totally off the mark, please DO set me straight, okay?
Cheers
Bibi B.
Quote from: alexbb on February 13, 2015, 06:22:48 PM
I think one aspet might be that masculine girls are far more accepted in man-world than feminine boys. so all the social hangups mtf people often have had to fight through; family disapproval, societal disapproval,internlised hatred and shame, blah blah, theyre not so troubled by as tomboyish girls.
Masculine girls and pre-op FTM transmen are approved of by men, who are titilated by their frequent lesbian orientation and see in them all the virtues of manhood they imagine in themselves; strength, assertiveness blah blah.
basically guys being chauvinist dicks as usual. and in feminine guys they see the opposite, hence the beatings they mete out. its just easier to be a tomboy than a sissy.
"So I expect that once we reach full social acceptance, where both men and women are equally able to express gender-nonconformity without societal stigmatization, the ages will even out."
agreed.
