Hello Whoknows
Welcome to Susan's! This is a good place, with many caring people who try to help where we can. I'm going to copy most of your post below and tap some comments below each paragraph.
How. Do. I. Tell. My... Family. This?
I have no clue at freaking all, and I'm scared of it. I just don't know what to do. I have 2 older brothers a dad and a mum. And of course rest of the family like grandmother and so on. But let's focus on them more right now. Also when I were younger my brothers would also call me a girl sometimes and say I act like one and is like one. All that stuff.... Like bugging me with it but I actually liked it without really knowing. I'm just so lost right now and I would love to get some help from some other people out there.
If your brothers have teased you by calling you a girl, I would see this as positive. They haven't persecuted you about it, which is good, and it may well be that your family will not be too surprised when you tell them. If you act like a girl in some ways, I see it as half the battle already won.
Telling family is always hard, regardless of your age. There is no best way to tell them. Some people write a letter, others talk. The key thing is to have your ideas as clear in your head as possible, so that they will see that you've thought carefully about it and have done some research into what it is like to go through transition. Be as prepared as possible. There is no ideal place or time to tell people, but I would try to make it a formal event. Maybe tell them in advance that you have something important to discuss, and then have a formal session when everyone is home.
You're gonna need to be brave. Being transgender is not for sissies, and being brave starts with telling your family. Just in case, arrange with one of your friends that you might need to spend the night, but I think this is very, very unlikely.
Also.... The younger the better.
I heard that beggining your transformation is best at the youngest possible age. Like starting to take hormons and so on. Would it be a good age at 16 if I actually can get out with it to my family? Hopefully with some help from this forum.
It's really good to start as young as the laws in your country will allow. Even if you have to wait to take hormones, you can become The Girl whenever you want. If you feel like a girl inside your head, you really don't need hormones to become the girl - you just need the freedom and support to become her.
And.....!
What does hormons really do to you? I mean I know that it makes you girly. But how do they transform you if you were at the age of 16? How would they affect and change me over a time period.
Hormones will affect the development of secondary sexual characteristics, mainly the development of breasts and the distribution of fat around the body. Hormones won't undo any of the secondary development you've already had, so be realistic. Many things can be fixed easily enough. Hormones may change how you experience your emotions, and many of us find our sense of smell is altered, mainly in that we can smell men much more obviously.
Also what is wrong with me?
I don't know really, and I really would like to know. But I'm not really that kind of a "open" person. And I do believe I don't have feelings.... Maybe it's because I live like this I can't feel... But there is not many things that can affect me at all. And those who do also never makes the feelings strong... I don't know what's wrong with me..
There's NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. You've spend 16 years in the wrong body, and it's bound to have affected you in terms of your self-image and openness. The really great thing about transitioning is that you can finally be free, and with this you will find yourself opening up because you no longer need to hide who you are. You've had to suppress your feelings for so long that they are dormant, but they will return, and you will feel so much more. It's a wonderful feeling - I've experienced it!!!
And just another thing!
I live in Denmark, and I do not believe at all I would be accepted so kindly here. Or at least not with my friends. I mean if I told them they would beat me up or laugh their ass off or some ->-bleeped-<-... Denmark is not kind about this thing..
You know, I'm not so sure about what you say. Firstly let's talk about your friends. OK, honesty you're at a funny age where friends may have strange reactions, but you don't know this for sure. If you're already a "girly boy" they are probably not going to be surprised by what you tell them. If some people laugh, laugh with them, and then teach them about what it is to be transgender. As for Denmark not being kind regarding transgender people, I think you may be seeing this in a very negative way - your country is known for its openness. It's important to surround yourself with people who care, and the rest are not relevant.
All in all, I just want to live like I were meant to, and not this way. I were born wrong.
Seriously, you have the power to do this. Be strong, optimistic and happy, and be forceful enough that people never question how you feel about your need to change gender.
I hope some of this makes sense??
Hugs
Julia
