Help me

[karalee]

Hello everyone and thank you for taking the time to read this.

I think I might be transgender but I don't know.
Since I was a little boy, I never saw myself as a man in the future. In every dream job of future event, I was woman. I never really took action of these thoughts, as I thought I was just gay. But now I'm 15 (nearly 16) all my school wants me to do is think of the future. Every time I picture myself, I'm never a man. I sometimes feel that I should of been a woman. I have very short periods of when I feel that I shouldn't. But as I grow all I think about is being a woman. I've only told some of my friends that I'm gay at school, and haven't even said that I might be transgender.

I think I might be trans but I don't know  can someone help? Also what would I have to do to start transitioning (in the uk) if I decide to transition?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this

[suzifrommd]

Hi and welcome to Susan's    There is a lot of help, support, and friendship to be found here.

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Karalee, only you can decide whether you are trans or not, but everything you've written are things that other people here have felt. The first steps that a lot of people take on their journeys are:
* Read a lot about being transgender. Read stories of people who have transitioned and what the experience was like for them.
* Try to find a therapist who specializes in working with transgender young people. I'm not from the UK, so I don't know how easy that is.
* Keep posting here. Make contact with people. Ask questions (like you're doing here). That's where I learned a lot of what I know.

Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.

[Serena]

I don't know how it works in the UK... But I think that you would still need you parents approval, if you plan on transition prior of turning 18... You can message me anything for anything <3 I am Serena, 17 (nearly 18) and I live in the U.S.

[Elis]

You sound trans to me. I'm a trans guy and could never picture myself as a women. Like suzi said keep visiting and posting on the forum, it was really helpful to me and we're all friendly. Is there an LGBT group you can visit? How it works here in the UK is that you need to speak to a GP and ask to be referred to a gender identity clinic (you probably need your parent's permission as you're under 18). Remember there is no rush to figure yourself out and take further steps. You can pm me if you want.

[DeanJulian]

I know how you feel. I'm 16 and biologically female, but whenever I think about the future, I see myself as male. It does sound like you are trans, and it seems that the first thing to do would be to tell your parents or guardians (if they seem like they could be supportive) and maybe progress towards seeing a gender therapist to find out for sure, and/or begin your transition. Good luck, and if you need to talk about anything, do let me know 

[karalee]

Wow, thank you everyone for responding. I guess the first thing to do is to really accept myself then come out. IfI did I would have to be referred to a gender identity clinic which we don't have where I live so I most probably have to go to one in London. Luckily it's all in the NHS, I can't imagine what I would do if I had to pay for hrt as my family aren't the richest. I think my mum would accept me, But I don't know.  Thank you guys for responding! 

[Jessica Merriman]

Just a hint here, but people who are NOT trans do not have these struggles within themselves. I believe it is very possible you are. I think talking with someone about it is your best move.

[Elis]

Wow, thank you everyone for responding. I guess the first thing to do is to really accept myself then come out. IfI did I would have to be referred to a gender identity clinic which we don't have where I live so I most probably have to go to one in London. Luckily it's all in the NHS, I can't imagine what I would do if I had to pay for hrt as my family aren't the richest. I think my mum would accept me, But I don't know.  Thank you guys for responding! 

You'll be referred to the Tavistock click then as you're under 18. It is around a year wait to get an appointment though.

[karalee]

You'll be referred to the Tavistock click then as you're under 18. It is around a year wait to get an appointment though.

I guess a year is alright, I leave high school in June and I will definitely not come out public before then.

I'm guessing I can still transition before the appointment, just without HRT. But I was wondering, as I'm not eighteen, I can not legally change my gender (I think) and I'm going on holiday on May 2016 and I will only be 17. What would I do if i turn up,at the airport looking like a female but it clearly saying I'm a male on my passport? 
Thanks 

[Elis]

I guess a year is alright, I leave high school in June and I will definitely not come out public before then.

I'm guessing I can still transition before the appointment, just without HRT. But I was wondering, as I'm not eighteen, I can not legally change my gender (I think) and I'm going on holiday on May 2016 and I will only be 17. What would I do if i turn up,at the airport looking like a female but it clearly saying I'm a male on my passport? 
Thanks 

Unfortunately in this country you do have to be 18 and over and have to live two years in your new gender role with evidence before applying for a Gender Recognition Certificate to legally change your gender. I wouldn't worry too much about going on holiday, airport staff deal with many types of people everyday. Just act confident 

[karalee]

Unfortunately in this country you do have to be 18 and over and have to live two years in your new gender role with evidence before applying for a Gender Recognition Certificate to legally change your gender. I wouldn't worry too much about going on holiday, airport staff deal with many types of people everyday. Just act confident 

Oh that's alright then, I would hate to miss that holiday    I have found on the government website that You can change your name and gender on your passport, but you need to change your name first and show "medical evidence" so you can change your gender on your passport. (I would link to the page but I don't think I'm allowed yet)

[Julia-Madrid]

Unfortunately in this country you do have to be 18 and over and have to live two years in your new gender role with evidence before applying for a Gender Recognition Certificate to legally change your gender. I wouldn't worry too much about going on holiday, airport staff deal with many types of people everyday. Just act confident 

Hiya Karalee (and Elis)

Karalee, I admire your very sound observation that you "can still transition before the appointment, just without HRT."  Sister, very few people make this totally sound intellectual jump as quickly as you did, so consider yourself noisily applauded!  It's totally correct:  the girl exists between your ears - hormones help, but they're not critical to becoming who you need to be!  If your family supports you, go for it as soon as you feel comfortable to start

A couple of other comments:

Firstly airports:  you'll find staff are generally quite tolerant, and in the UK at least, quite sensitive to gender variants.  If security staff can clearly see that you are the same person as shown in your passport photo, you're unlikely to have trouble.  Buuuut... if you do look very different from your passport, you may need to show documentary evidence that you're transgender.  After my FFS and before getting my UK passport changed, I got stopped frequently by security staff, but not always!  It lead to some odd and amusing conversations ("Oh, it seems you've got your husband's passport here...") but again, I ususally carried some letters from the gender clinic to avoid suspicions of a stolen passport.

Now onto changing your gender on UK passports: a gender recognition certificate is one way.  Another is to obtain a letter from a doctor (not a psychologist!) stating that you are changing gender to female and that your gender change is likely to be permanent.  I managed to get such a letter after 6 months.  In my case my first name is gender-neutral and this was also commented on in the doctor's letter.  You don't need to furnish any other information, but more evidence of your transgender state is better than less.  I can give you the names of the people to speak to if you go to the London passport office which is on Ecclestone square.

Hope this helps.  Good luck!
Julia

[karalee]

Hiya Karalee (and Elis)

Karalee, I admire your very sound observation that you "can still transition before the appointment, just without HRT."  Sister, very few people make this totally sound intellectual jump as quickly as you did, so consider yourself noisily applauded!  It's totally correct:  the girl exists between your ears - hormones help, but they're not critical to becoming who you need to be!  If your family supports you, go for it as soon as you feel comfortable to start

A couple of other comments:

Firstly airports:  you'll find staff are generally quite tolerant, and in the UK at least, quite sensitive to gender variants.  If security staff can clearly see that you are the same person as shown in your passport photo, you're unlikely to have trouble.  Buuuut... if you do look very different from your passport, you may need to show documentary evidence that you're transgender.  After my FFS and before getting my UK passport changed, I got stopped frequently by security staff, but not always!  It lead to some odd and amusing conversations ("Oh, it seems you've got your husband's passport here...") but again, I ususally carried some letters from the gender clinic to avoid suspicions of a stolen passport.

Now onto changing your gender on UK passports: a gender recognition certificate is one way.  Another is to obtain a letter from a doctor (not a psychologist!) stating that you are changing gender to female and that your gender change is likely to be permanent.  I managed to get such a letter after 6 months.  In my case my first name is gender-neutral and this was also commented on in the doctor's letter.  You don't need to furnish any other information, but more evidence of your transgender state is better than less.  I can give you the names of the people to speak to if you go to the London passport office which is on Ecclestone square.

Hope this helps.  Good luck!
Julia

Thank you very much for the kind words

The six month period doesn't sound bad at all. I can probably still go on holiday  either way!
I was just scarred they were gonna stop me and arrest me or even worse strip search me. (My god that would be horrible)
Thank you for taking the time to respond 

[karalee]

You sound trans to me. I'm a trans guy and could never picture myself as a women. Like suzi said keep visiting and posting on the forum, it was really helpful to me and we're all friendly. Is there an LGBT group you can visit? How it works here in the UK is that you need to speak to a GP and ask to be referred to a gender identity clinic (you probably need your parent's permission as you're under 18). Remember there is no rush to figure yourself out and take further steps. You can pm me if you want.

Hi, I live quite a small town, so there isn't really any lgbt things. The only lgbt thing I've seen is a bus with a stonewall advert on it 

[Elis]

Hi, I live quite a small town, so there isn't really any lgbt things. The only lgbt thing I've seen is a bus with a stonewall advert on it 

Same for me, I'm going to have to commute to london for an ftm meeting, it's not that far but would be nice to have some LGBT clubs/meetings locally. I saw those, it made a nice change