Well the weekend of my birthday is now here. My plan was to come out to my family in a group meeting, however that was not to be. 1st my mom is in IL and the next is my brother wants nothing to do with my sister. When that became clearer I decided to tell certain people one by one. The 1st family member I told was my sister, who was very supportive and was not in shock. My mom I plan on telling soon. This leaves me with my Grandmother who I told today. My grandmother is someone who I deeply respect who as done alot for me and if fact is one of the reason that I put off transitioning. Well, I finally told her. Her respond was that she was concern about my health, well being, and after the fact regret and loneliness. She was concern about me because of the news story of the man who killed his wife after he found out she was trans. I explained that everybody is not like that and that could happen because of different reasons as well. She said for me to try to walk down the street in women clothing and see how I felt. I didn't say anything but I thought "I already done that and I liked it" She was also saying how much time on my hands is not good for me and I said that I have always felt this way reguardless of where I was. Even in relationships. She ask how was I going to find a partner and saying that I will have a hard time find one when I go though the transition. I said that I already do have problems again saying that I need to do this. Also saying that people are more open and accepting now and I already have accepting friends and support. I explained to her that I have felt this way for a long time and have thought about it for a long time too. That every since i told her about it when I was a teen, that it just didn't "disappear". She was clearly upset as she said that she doesn't understand people who go against what is presented. She reminded me that it was cost alot and I told her I needed to go down this road. I told her that I did not want it to negative effect our relationship because of how much she means to me as a mother-like figure. She said that she doesn't agree with me but plans on supporting me.
After I told her she told me that she thought this was what I had to talk to her about because my mother told her about it when I came out to her 5 yeas ago. Frankly I can not confide anything in my mother but thats not the point. She told me that it upseted my mother which she never told me. She told my grandmother that she rather me say that I was Gay, and that bothered me. I heard that statement is not uncommon to hear when one comes out. It was harder then I thought coming out to my grandmother. She said that she would talk to my grandfather about it as it would be better for her then me to talk to him. I do fear of lack of help as I do not see her helping for trans reason but I maybe wrong. Coming out is a step that makes it more real, and there are more steps to be taken.
-Till next time
