Just some weird questions..

[Damara]

Hi everyone! I am far off from SRS (I'm giving myself two years at least, unless I  happen upon enough resources which allow me to do it sooner) but I am curious!

Firstly, I'm not sure where to find this info online, but I don't really see it described in detail on any GRS websites.. How is the cavity to place the vagina actually created? It seems to me that just cutting an area would damage muscles and not allow for certain things like kegal movement. Of course I don't think that probably happens so I'm just wondering what is occurring in the creation of this canal.

Also just a question on how it feels.. does it feel strange at all? Like "Oh! My male parts are just all arranged inside me now." A bit of a fear of mine is that I will just think it feels weird and never feel "normal." Not in the actual having a vagina, just that the vagina will not feel like it's just a vagina and instead would feel like a strange place in my body that can't function as a vagina, for whatever negative reason. Haha! I know I'm great with words. 

I may have more weird questions later for this thread but my mind is going blank.. this winter is not fun! lol.. so cold.

Thanks all, my dear friends! <3

[Jenna Marie]

The cavity essentially already exists; the surgery consists of cutting through the PC muscle and then putting a vaginal lining inside. If you sort of press a bit below the visible base of the penis, you can actually feel that there's a "hole" there covered in skin. It's kinda cool.

It felt that way - like the old parts only rearranged and weird - for a day or two post-op, and then my brain rewired itself to recognize the new locations and parts. Now I can't really remember what it was like to have the old configuration!

[serenityfaith]

No such thing as a bad question!! I'm very curious about all this too actually so thank you for starting this!!! <3

[Damara]

The cavity essentially already exists; the surgery consists of cutting through the PC muscle and then putting a vaginal lining inside. If you sort of press a bit below the visible base of the penis, you can actually feel that there's a "hole" there covered in skin. It's kinda cool.

It felt that way - like the old parts only rearranged and weird - for a day or two post-op, and then my brain rewired itself to recognize the new locations and parts. Now I can't really remember what it was like to have the old configuration!

Thanks, Jenna! I wasn't sure exactly how that worked! It makes sense! And that doesn't sound too bad! Sometimes I worry that because I have the fear of it maybe feeling like it's not "normal" means I'm not trans. But the way I feel about things now definitely isn't cis!

[Damara]

No such thing as a bad question!! I'm very curious about all this too actually so thank you for starting this!!! <3

Yay! Yes, I subscribe to this thinking as well! And so many of us here have personal experience with many things in this sort of enigmatic journey.. So it's a great place to learn! 

[suzifrommd]

Actually sometimes it bothers me that it feels so "normal". It feels like my boy parts are folded neatly beneath me. Not a whole lot different from tucking. The vaginal entrance feels nothing at all - pretty much exactly as it did before surgery. I only notice there's a hole there if something's going in or coming out.

[Damara]

Actually sometimes it bothers me that it feels so "normal". It feels like my boy parts are folded neatly beneath me. Not a whole lot different from tucking. The vaginal entrance feels nothing at all - pretty much exactly as it did before surgery. I only notice there's a hole there if something's going in or coming out.

Do you mean that you didn't have much sensation before surgery and also have none after? I'm sorry if you've answered this before.

[serenityfaith]

Yay! Yes, I subscribe to this thinking as well! And so many of us here have personal experience with many things in this sort of enigmatic journey.. So it's a great place to learn! 

Indeed it is my dear!! Indeed it is.

[serenityfaith]

Actually sometimes it bothers me that it feels so "normal". It feels like my boy parts are folded neatly beneath me. Not a whole lot different from tucking. The vaginal entrance feels nothing at all - pretty much exactly as it did before surgery. I only notice there's a hole there if something's going in or coming out.

Forgive me if this is too forward, But can you feel pleasure? Thats always been one of my BIGGEST fears regarding SRS. I've tried googling this topic but theres just so much b.s. to wade through. some say you gotta work at it like a "sneeze" -(weird comparison i think) But then others say no...? 

[Jenna Marie]

Damara : I forgot to add, I can still do Kegels. The muscle *is* cut and damaged, but it heals, and fairly quickly. After that, dilation trains it to relax and allow penetration (and some cis women have problems with that muscle clenching up in similar ways, by the way).  Oh, and I was orgasmic in my sleep 3 weeks post-op, although it took a few months to figure out how to push the right buttons on purpose; at this point, even though I know it's impossible, it feels like I have *way* more nerves concentrated in that area than I did before. I have no idea what the stats on sensitivity and orgasm are, since I don't know if anyone's ever collected that data scientifically, but anecdotally I only know of one woman who is not orgasmic post-GRS and she strongly regrets surgery and didn't realize that she wouldn't have a penis afterward (?!) so I don't think she's typical.

Personally, I spent years agonizing that I wasn't "really trans" because my story didn't match the traditional one, but I've ended up concluding that for all intents and purposes it doesn't matter - as you put it, you're not cis if you worry about stuff like this. The label is intended to describe us, not circumscribe us. Not to mention that, honestly, it sounds like you're worried the results of surgery won't live up to your expectations. That's perfectly reasonable and understandable, and I bet some cis women having plastic surgery wonder the same thing.

[serenityfaith]

Damara : I forgot to add, I can still do Kegels. The muscle *is* cut and damaged, but it heals, and fairly quickly. After that, dilation trains it to relax and allow penetration (and some cis women have problems with that muscle clenching up in similar ways, by the way).  Oh, and I was orgasmic in my sleep 3 weeks post-op, although it took a few months to figure out how to push the right buttons on purpose; at this point, even though I know it's impossible, it feels like I have *way* more nerves concentrated in that area than I did before. I have no idea what the stats on sensitivity and orgasm are, since I don't know if anyone's ever collected that data scientifically, but anecdotally I only know of one woman who is not orgasmic post-GRS and she strongly regrets surgery and didn't realize that she wouldn't have a penis afterward (?!) so I don't think she's typical.

Personally, I spent years agonizing that I wasn't "really trans" because my story didn't match the traditional one, but I've ended up concluding that for all intents and purposes it doesn't matter - as you put it, you're not cis if you worry about stuff like this. The label is intended to describe us, not circumscribe us. Not to mention that, honestly, it sounds like you're worried the results of surgery won't live up to your expectations. That's perfectly reasonable and understandable, and I bet some cis women having plastic surgery wonder the same thing.

She didnt know she wouldnt have a penis???! how in the world did she get the green light for GRS? 
Thank you very much Jenna for being so comfortable with talking about this. I cant speak for Damara but you answered my question very well!

[Jenna Marie]

Serenity : Bluntly put, she lied. A lot. I and a bunch of other people warned her that would backfire...

Anyway, glad to help. I had the same problem with nobody really talking about this stuff when I was researching pre-op, and so now I try to be as open as I can.

[serenityfaith]

oh lord some people... wow.. I.. I just cant..  LOL

[serenityfaith]

Another forward question (here she goes again!)  : Does anyone ever mark you to be trans bc of the size of the Perineum? I mean I know everyones different but i'm worried that that will be a telltale sign?! :/

[Damara]

Damara : I forgot to add, I can still do Kegels. The muscle *is* cut and damaged, but it heals, and fairly quickly. After that, dilation trains it to relax and allow penetration (and some cis women have problems with that muscle clenching up in similar ways, by the way).  Oh, and I was orgasmic in my sleep 3 weeks post-op, although it took a few months to figure out how to push the right buttons on purpose; at this point, even though I know it's impossible, it feels like I have *way* more nerves concentrated in that area than I did before. I have no idea what the stats on sensitivity and orgasm are, since I don't know if anyone's ever collected that data scientifically, but anecdotally I only know of one woman who is not orgasmic post-GRS and she strongly regrets surgery and didn't realize that she wouldn't have a penis afterward (?!) so I don't think she's typical.

Personally, I spent years agonizing that I wasn't "really trans" because my story didn't match the traditional one, but I've ended up concluding that for all intents and purposes it doesn't matter - as you put it, you're not cis if you worry about stuff like this. The label is intended to describe us, not circumscribe us. Not to mention that, honestly, it sounds like you're worried the results of surgery won't live up to your expectations. That's perfectly reasonable and understandable, and I bet some cis women having plastic surgery wonder the same thing.

Thanks so much for your response! Very helpful! Who was your surgeon? I ultimately believe this is such a massive undertaking that doubts and concerns are natural.. it's nice to have experienced women who can help put some things into perspective, if only through their own lens of the journey.

[Jenna Marie]

Serenity : I have no idea what size it's *supposed* to be, but I would be shocked if anyone down there was using a millimeter ruler to check. Seriously, the vaginal opening is placed where it anatomically would go in a cis woman; my perineum is much smaller now than it was before, and I'd assume that's because now there's a vagina where a good portion of it used to be.

(I had to go to a gynecologist to demonstrate to my insurance company why I was on HRT at 35 - I have jumped through SO MANY ridiculous hoops for insurance by now, most of it not even trans related - and was shocked to find that the letter she sent stated that I'd had a hysterectomy. [I had to call back and *convince her* that I was not cis. Weirdest damned conversation.] So I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that if someone who pokes around in vaginas for a living couldn't tell, the average person can't.)

I went to Brassard, and I also agree that doubts and concerns are normal. I was scared to death until the night before, and several of the women there admitted the same thing.

[serenityfaith]

Serenity : I have no idea what size it's *supposed* to be, but I would be shocked if anyone down there was using a millimeter ruler to check. Seriously, the vaginal opening is placed where it anatomically would go in a cis woman; my perineum is much smaller now than it was before, and I'd assume that's because now there's a vagina where a good portion of it used to be.

(I had to go to a gynecologist to demonstrate to my insurance company why I was on HRT at 35 - I have jumped through SO MANY ridiculous hoops for insurance by now, most of it not even trans related - and was shocked to find that the letter she sent stated that I'd had a hysterectomy. [I had to call back and *convince her* that I was not cis. Weirdest damned conversation.] So I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that if someone who pokes around in vaginas for a living couldn't tell, the average person can't.)

I went to Brassard, and I also agree that doubts and concerns are normal. I was scared to death until the night before, and several of the women there admitted the same thing.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The ruler thing is too funny! Like somebody's trying to verify your AKC registration.. "Miss, are you aware that your perineum is two mm longer than what your pedigree should be?" ROTFL
Ohh!!! Okay! I always thought that would stay the same and my vagina would just be high up.. Silly, but hey when you don't know any better.. you're so awesome Jenna! I'm really thankful to Damara for creating this thread. Thank you Demara, And thank you Jenna! I have my answers!
And that is a strange (but incredibly flattering) conversation!! I bet you felt confused but complimented all at once! Also probably nervous that your insurance adjuster has no friggin' clue as to what shes doing....!

[mrs izzy]

The cavity essentially already exists; the surgery consists of cutting through the PC muscle and then putting a vaginal lining inside. If you sort of press a bit below the visible base of the penis, you can actually feel that there's a "hole" there covered in skin. It's kinda cool.

It felt that way - like the old parts only rearranged and weird - for a day or two post-op, and then my brain rewired itself to recognize the new locations and parts. Now I can't really remember what it was like to have the old configuration!

Jenna is our resident GCS lady now. I have more irons in the fire so have had time getting here.

what Jenna says plus because half the length of the penis is inside your body. Just like you don't see all of a big oak tree above ground, you don't see the root of your penis tucked up inside your pelvis and attached to your pubic bone.

Once remove makes room. I have great control over my PC muscle for sure. That is the muscle that you need to work the hardest in the dilation. It took me a year for it to stop fighting and relax to make penetration easier.

http://www.healthline.com/human-body-maps/glans-penis is a great reference of what is where.

[Damara]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The ruler thing is too funny! Like somebody's trying to verify your AKC registration.. "Miss, are you aware that your perineum is two mm longer than what your pedigree should be?" ROTFL
Ohh!!! Okay! I always thought that would stay the same and my vagina would just be high up.. Silly, but hey when you don't know any better.. you're so awesome Jenna! I'm really thankful to Damara for creating this thread. Thank you Demara, And thank you Jenna! I have my answers!
And that is a strange (but incredibly flattering) conversation!! I bet you felt confused but complimented all at once! Also probably nervous that your insurance adjuster has no friggin' clue as to what shes doing....!

You're welcome, Serenity! I'm so thankful for this lovely online family! <3

And yeah, I long for the day when I have to convince people I'm trans! lol!! 

[suzifrommd]

Do you mean that you didn't have much sensation before surgery and also have none after? I'm sorry if you've answered this before.

No. Had plenty then, have plenty now. It just feels weirdly the same. Like I haven't really had anything done.