Very true, Julia!
I've decided to post the whole thing, hopefully it will help someone if I share it. Feel free to comment, critique, or criticize. Here's what I sent:
Hey, how's everyone making out with winter? It's no secret we got bombed with snow here. There's a lot of melting going on, mud season has begun.
What's going on with mom? She sounds fine, last week she was complaining that there wasn't enough sour cream in the beef stroganoff. What's her health status? I know she has breathing issues, but when she transferred to hospice I wasn't clear what was going on, and I'm still not.
This has put me back in contact with you both, and I'm aware that you're in contact with people who run into me. <names removed for privacy> I've changed, dramatically, and I really don't know how to handle this situation.
I'm transgender, I identify as an open and proud crossdresser. I do a lot of support and suicide prevention work in online support groups. I've dedicated my life to helping the transgender community, and part of that is me being visible. I grew my hair out. I frequently have nails when work projects don't break them. I dress male with female accents most of the time, and most people call me miss or ma'am when we interact.
I am afraid this is going to blow up. I dont want to freak out my mother on her death bed. I don't want a bunch of people judging me. I will be true to myself no matter what. It's what I spend my time telling others. I know this is a lot to absorb at a bad time, and I apologize for that. I will answer any questions you may have. My chosen name is Devlyn Marie. I use that, I'm called Devlyn at work.
Hugs, Devlyn (your brother Mike)
My older sister replied:
Hello Devlyn !
Bob and I are both glad you're happy and have found something to dedicate yourself to. There is still so much discrimination and hate in the world. I've never understood that. People are all different and just trying to find their way in life. Everyone should just live and let live. The internet is good because it's opened things up so that people don't feel so alone anymore but it's also made bullying much worse and easier.
I don't know that much about how Mom is doing. I've talked to her on the phone some but it's hard to judge. I guess they don't usually send you to hospice unless they think it's close to the end. Maureen can probably tell us more.
Mom has never seemed to be prejudiced about anything but it's maybe better not to tell her at this point in case she did get upset about it. I'm not that close with her so I can't predict how she'd feel. You would hope that she'd be proud that you are helping other people. Keep up the good work and stay in touch !
Kim
Needless to say, the first two words were a huge relief I'm still waiting to hear from my younger sister, she's down near mom and handles my mother's affairs. So far, so good!
Hugs, Devlyn
