The word "dude"

[kitty007008]

I really don't like when people call me dude, like I can't tell if I'm passing and people are saying that like they would with a cis girl, or if they are being passive aggressive. What do you think?

[AndrewB]

This is probably one of those things where you're going to have to read the crowd; it really depends on the person. I know for a fact that I call everyone I'm comfortable around "dude," but I think I'd be horrified if I called anyone older, more respected, or formal than me the same thing. I call female and male friends "dude" indiscriminately and I doubt that'll change, but I do watch myself on here because I also tend to say "guys" even to an all-female crowd and I know that's not exactly the best practice... guess it comes with the (sometimes dangerously) laid-back attitude I carry.

[Carrie Liz]

Probably not a passing thing... "dude" and "guys" and "man" and the like are just how our culture operates where it's totally fine to call girls by male-ish generalizers but not the other way around.

Don't stress about it. The whole "would they call a cis-woman by that nickname" thing will just make your head spin. Unless they're calling you "he" or "him" or "sir," (although women do still get called that last one now and then,) it's not worth worrying about the informals.

[Kellam]

My mother refers to these words as "the male universal" basically it is a cultural way of maintaining the patriarchy. She has been on a crusade against "guys" for decades. I do know women who use them and "man" too to refer to everyone. I tend to let it be but point out the contradictions at apropriate moments.

[ImagineKate]

I hate the word,"man." Like "hey man don't park your car over here!"

However I haven't gotten that in a long while from strangers.

[KittyKat]

I play WoW and use voice chat and no one ever questions my gender because my voice really just never sounded male over phones etc. I've been called dude before on voice chat before I think its become a kind of gender neutral term. Heck even Michele Tanner in Full House used it for everyone. I wouldn't take much offense from it.

[Jill F]

You all need to hear the song, "Don't Call Me Dude" by Scatterbrain.  Great band that was really funny.

[Cindy]

It is also very cultural. In Australia everyone is a 'guy'

There will be a table of five women and the waitress will say 'Are you guys ready to order?'

[Jill F]

It is also very cultural. In Australia everyone is a 'guy'

There will be a table of five women and the waitress will say 'Are you guys ready to order?'

That's funny, it happens in LA as well.  Jut ask my all-female dive bar crew!   My friend Angela calls everyone "dude" and Shelley calls us "guys" all the time.  Both of them are cis and straight.

[JenSquid]

Would you rather they call you Lebowski?

Sorry. That was dumb. Cracked me up, though.

"Guys" seems pretty gender-inconclusive. Like if it's used in "guys vs. girls," it's clearly masculine, but if it's used like in "hey guys," then it seems pretty neutral. I wouldn't worry too much about that. "Dude," however, definitely strikes me as masculine.
The one that personally bugs me is "bro." I've got a few people who address me that way. I know they're trying to be friendly, and I know they don't know about my gender issues, but it stings nevertheless.

[michelle82]

Its a definitely a male thing, same thing with "Man". both of which i hate.

i'be been calling my local music store for years because I'm a musician, and everybody that answers the phone will address me as "man". Like "Sure man, one minute let me check on that for you"

But when i started using my female voice over the phone, it stopped. They don't call me "Ma'am" or use any female pronouns, but they stopped using "Man"

[Wild Flower]

Words are meaningless. Especially sentences.

[Kellam]

The point with "guys" is that it never works in the singular so it is just bad grammar. How can a group of women be "guys" if a woman on her own is never "this guy"?

[cindy16]

FWIW, my wife and I call each other 'dude' all the time. Sometimes even in less informal settings or in front of others.
While speaking in our native language which has gendered verb endings, we also sometimes use the masculine verb endings with each other, especially in an affectionate way.
We've never really thought about the patriarchal or psychological or any such implications of all this, though.

[Robyn37]

I tend to refer to everyone as "dude" and groups as "guys". I am working on stopping it, but it is so ingrained into my speaking habits it is very tough to break. I imagine it is tough for others as well and they don't even think about it.

[Shawn Sunshine]

If its a mixed group of people I will say "hey Guys" or sometimes "hey everyone, or everybody" I think if your in that mood you tend to revert to saying "hey guys"

I don't really use dude much , but I find dudette to be fun to say.

I get called "Big Man" a lot and I absolutley hate it. That's not what i am on the inside. I also sometimes get called Chief or Boss.

[Damara]

I don't mind it if I know a person uses it to refer to everyone, but I know some people that do use it specifically for men and it bothers me then.. lol! But I try not to let it.. doesn't happen almost at all thank gods.

[VeryGnawty]

I always think of Disgaea when I hear that word.  I can't un-hear the ridiculous voice-acting from that game.  My head just fills up with "Prinny dude!" or "Come on, dude!  Doooood!!"

[SarahSchilling]

I always think of Disgaea when I hear that word.  I can't un-hear the ridiculous voice-acting from that game.  My head just fills up with "Prinny dude!" or "Come on, dude!  Doooood!!"

That's why they include the Japanese auido track. Although -su as a suffix is odd as well.

Anyways, my two cents: Dude is universal stoner lingo, I don't love it but i tolerate it. Man will get a dirty look, as the only people that still call me that are the ones that knew me as a guy. Guys is universal slang.

When my gg friends and I eat out, we usually get ladies or guys. Either way.

[Wild Flower]

My boss will say "Hey bit...ches" to a group of males *me included*.

Hes not gay. Hes gay accepting.

Actually all my bosses are tolerant of gay people... except the female one.