Periods. Sigh... (TW)

[Tyler]

 (TW: This is about periods so if you are grossed out or triggered don't read. This also mentions dysphoria.)

So. I'm 15. I got my period for the first time today, and I am so dysphoric. When I found out, I started crying (which was terrible) and my mother was like "It's good! It's your mark of womanhood! why are you crying?" BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M NOT A WOMAN. I don't know how to deal with the dysphoria, it's crippling and painful. Are there any trans guys who have ways to cope with this? I'm sorry I'm angry and not making sense.

-Tyler

[King Malachite]

You just started yours at 15?  Wow, you are lucky.  I started mine at ten, and my friend started hers at nine.  Some guys use tampons or moon cups so they don't have to feel the blood leaking out.  Personally, I don't like to use them, but what helps me cope better during my period is wearing three or even 4 pairs of dark underwear, because I feel like at least I have control of that.

If you want to be more daring, then you can come out to your mother (if you haven't already) and find a way to start your transition by going on hormone blockers, if not T.  At the very least, maybe you can convince your mother to let you go on birth control to stop it, but from what I hear that increases estrogen. 

I've also heard that working out and drinking water helps shorten the days/makes your period lighter, but I'm sure that varies person to person, but it might work for you.

[mm]

Wow, you were lucky to have yours wait until you were 15; I do know how you feel that your body has let you down by starting this bleeding every month.  I was 12, when mine started not a fun time, my mom and grandma were telling how I was now a woman and all the great things this meant to me now.  All I could think was all the bad things, which was true for me.  I developed breasts too and the boys now looked at me differently no longer would they accept me playing in their ball games, etc, which had been such great fun for me.  I started with pads, but within a year found tampons were much better, no seeing and feeling the mess all the time.  I still have dysphoria which is a hard time for me every month.  I get cramps the days before I start which at least lets me know it is coming.  Trying to get blockers or one of the birth controls that stop the bleeding is a good idea if you mind getting more estrogen in your system.

[FTMax]

Oh man, I started mine at 9 so you're at least lucky in that regard.  Mine are done now thanks to T and always short to begin with (really hoping they don't come back, I have to stop hormones next week for surgery), but my advice is to stay busy. The busier you are physically and mentally, the less time you have to dwell on it. Eat well, drink a lot of water, get some light exercise in, and make time to relax. I'm sure there's some list online of self-care activities - do them.

As far as other practical things: I preferred tampons. Less to look at. Don't overdo it on the pain meds, but don't avoid them either. Find the comfiest clothes you have and wear them.

[CarrotInsanity]

Sorry, bro.  I got my first one back in November (I'm 14).  So now I dread that time of the month, the tenth to the seventeenth, basically.  That time where I have to ask for certain products and stuff. 

This doesn't make you any less of a man.  You are strong for having to deal with this.

Hey, if you ever begin T, your periods will probably stop eventually. 

For now, there's a few things that might help.  Your diet for one.  Drink lots of water, healthy foods, etc.  Just helps.  Exercise is supposed to lessen the flow as well.  Depending on what's dysphoric for you, tampons may or may not work.  I personally can't stand pads - the feeling of *it* gushing out onto this diaper between your legs.  Tampons are sort of discreet - you can sort of forget about them (but don't leave them in for too long).  But sticking something there might be dysphoric for you.  It's all subjective.

Good luck bro

[Bazer63]

I'm so jealous, I started mine last year at 12. And I fainted at my first period. When ever I get period I end up staying up all night wish that it would stop and wondering why I have to have them. It's uncomfortable, it reminds me of my sex.

[Sulmor10]

they'll probably stop for like two months, you know that right? You definitely don't feel that way, but you're actually really lucky you started so late. They should stop when you get T or Hormone blockers. I found that tampons actually made my dysphoria worse, so I just wear a pad, but you should try each thing to see if it makes it any better. Arm yourself with some painkillers too, in case you get cramps. They won't be regular for the first year, and if you're lucky enough to be like me, you'll only get them once every 2-3 months. You may be really dysphoric at first, but you'll eventually get used to it.

[FTMax]

they'll probably stop for like two months, you know that right? You definitely don't feel that way, but you're actually really lucky you started so late. They should stop when you get T or Hormone blockers. I found that tampons actually made my dysphoria worse, so I just wear a pad, but you should try each thing to see if it makes it any better. Arm yourself with some painkillers too, in case you get cramps. They won't be regular for the first year, and if you're lucky enough to be like me, you'll only get them once every 2-3 months. You may be really dysphoric at first, but you'll eventually get used to it.

Everyone's body is different. Mine were regular my entire life (including the first year I had it) until starting HRT. You can't say for sure what his will be like, so try not to give false hope.

[Sulmor10]

Everyone's body is different. Mine were regular my entire life (including the first year I had it) until starting HRT. You can't say for sure what his will be like, so try not to give false hope.

Ah, I apologise. Everyone I knew had theirs stop for quite a while, so I assumed everyone had it that way. My mistake.

Either way, if you're lucky it'll only be around 3 days long. I find that it makes me feel better to take a bath (if you're ok with them). It helps the cramps and I find sometimes it makes the bleeding lessen a bit. Some light exercise is really good too, and I find I need to drink more. Just completely chill. Don't overdo things like chocolate or junk food etc., it made cramps worse for me. I can't really help since I only started getting periods somewhat recently myself, but good luck with it dude!

[Sky]

I'm 16, I got my period at 10...you're so lucky...●︿● I also suffer from body dysphoria...I'm more of a plug it up and ignore it kind of guy. Even though sometimes it is hard to ignore the blood =_= Ways I cope most times, is listen to heavy metal, draw, play a video game and sometimes I go for a run outside. Anything to keep my mind off of what's happening...even to this day I freak out about it. I try to think that it's not just something that happens to women, but everyone. Because I'm a guy, and well yeah guys get periods. It helps ease my dysphoria, when I try to change the way I think about it...

[Maleth]

I try to think that it's not just something that happens to women, but everyone. Because I'm a guy, and well yeah guys get periods. It helps ease my dysphoria, when I try to change the way I think about it...

I do this too. It's quite helpful!!

[maxman]

You just started yours at 15?  Wow, you are lucky.  I started mine at ten, and my friend started hers at nine.  Some guys use tampons or moon cups so they don't have to feel the blood leaking out.  Personally, I don't like to use them, but what helps me cope better during my period is wearing three or even 4 pairs of dark underwear, because I feel like at least I have control of that.

If you want to be more daring, then you can come out to your mother (if you haven't already) and find a way to start your transition by going on hormone blockers, if not T.  At the very least, maybe you can convince your mother to let you go on birth control to stop it, but from what I hear that increases estrogen. 

I've also heard that working out and drinking water helps shorten the days/makes your period lighter, but I'm sure that varies person to person, but it might work for you.

There are some birth control options that don't induce estrogen. I took one until I could start T and I know other trans guys have too

[RaptorChops]

When I had my periods I would man up and buy those heavy duty maxi pads that had over night protection and wings. Yeah it felt like I had a diaper on but I was protected from leaks in public.

What always made me feel better was I would take motrin, grab my heating pad and lay in my bed and cry like a baby until I fell asleep. If I felt sick I would take a pillow into the bathroom with me, place it on my lap and sob even more about how much I hated my insides. Nothing is more comforting than laying your sweaty head on a pillow while you poop.

[TGSine]

(TW: This is about periods so if you are grossed out or triggered don't read. This also mentions dysphoria.)

So. I'm 15. I got my period for the first time today, and I am so dysphoric. When I found out, I started crying (which was terrible) and my mother was like "It's good! It's your mark of womanhood! why are you crying?" BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M NOT A WOMAN. I don't know how to deal with the dysphoria, it's crippling and painful. Are there any trans guys who have ways to cope with this? I'm sorry I'm angry and not making sense.

-Tyler

Tyler: Lucky...😊. Seriously, I hope I can have periods, which means I could be a mom. My parents said I might in 15 years...

[Kylo]

Guess I was lucky too, didn't start till 17. Honestly I think it had much to do with my mind state and anxiety delaying it. It was serious stuff.

I coped with it in a way I wouldn't recommend, by abusing birth control pills and developing weight disorders.

I suppose there is another way, you can do a lot of working out and exercise and reduce your body fat percentage; periods tend to get lighter with decreasing fat levels and worse with increasing body fat levels. It's possible if you do a lot of exercise to almost eliminate them. Female athletes for example, may have light ones (or no periods at all) because their bodies are not in "reproductive mode" but "extreme extertion" mode.

My typical guy thinking... try to do something immediately to stop the problem. But not necessarily the easiest or wisest routes.

I can't say how to deal with how crap having periods makes you feel. I'm mostly desensitized to them now (on progesterone while I wait for T which has effectively killed them off) but I do remember how morose and irritated I felt every second I had to put up with them. Kind of feels like having to convalesce every week in 4, and that feels ridiculous. The best I could suggest is just getting comfortable with a video game or a movie, book, whatever and taking your mind out of this reality into one you prefer for a while. Some people also suggest bladderwrack supplements increase the length of time between periods. I have Asian relatives and since they eat a lot of seaweed in the diet there it's a known fact women in countries like Japan/Korea etc. have longer waits between their periods than western women do~

[vanderpn]

I think I started mine when I was around 13 (wow, an entire decade -- I feel old ). I definitely feel you on the dysphoria; wish I had tips for dealing with it, but alas I don't really have any good means of coping myself.

As far as the physical pain, if you get cramps, I'd highly recommend Thermacare heat wraps. They wrap around you kind of like a bandage and you can wear them under your clothes. So, if you have to be out and about, like for work or school, you can still get some relief.

[Hecknado]

First one I got was 15 and a half, at this youth thing. Felt sick, and there was a tiny bit of blood there. The next year, I did a HELL of a lot of running, 50km a week, and I competed in the 3000m. Basically as other people have commented, this makes it go away/be less frequent. I didn't have any more at all until the end of the next year, at a camp, but it was light. Anyway, then it started going "normal", and these would get me so down mentally my mum said to me about going on a contraceptive, instead of me asking. While at the doctors getting it I also asked about the FTM process, didn't plan to come out, but this gave my mum about 6 months before I "properly" came out.

This year, I get progesterone shots every 12 weeks from the school nurse. You don't even have to tell your parents about it, since they give out condoms and contraceptives at highschools ( atleast in my country ) and also, nurses tend to be in charge of the student LGBT support which is definitely awesome. I still get breakthrough bleeding in the last 2 weeks, but atleast I can go to school - with periods I do not got to school, because I get so bad. Pretty low attendance. Anyway, try to get on that. Also, progesterone is not oestrogen, so you won't speed up puberty, but you do get hungry/gain weight but that doesn't effect me since I do a LOT of exercise, which also helps with periods and your mental health.
Otherwise, try do some cycling, indoor exercycles are also perfect - dont have to wear a binder - or running, plus weights will help with your shoulders and arms at the same time.

Good luck, and man,  I know what you're going through :|

[mm]

Hecknado, how do get progesterone and your parents not know. couldn't that here at 15. You are very lucky not to need a binder; do you wear a sports bra or nothing at all.  You were lucky to not start until you were 15 and then irregular for awhile.  I get bad cramps the day before I start every month; i try not to let anyone know I am hurting so bad which is very hard to do sometimes when it is hard to standup straight.

[Hecknado]

Hecknado, how do get progesterone and your parents not know. couldn't that here at 15. You are very lucky not to need a binder; do you wear a sports bra or nothing at all.  You were lucky to not start until you were 15 and then irregular for awhile.  I get bad cramps the day before I start every month; i try not to let anyone know I am hurting so bad which is very hard to do sometimes when it is hard to standup straight.

My parents do know, but it is because now I get them through the school nurse, as a doctors appointment every three months is rather costly. You should be able to, they don't advertise it in schools, but talk to your nurse, explain your situation. From what I've been told ( school nurse, doctor, counsellours ) they have a privacy thingy which means they will not tell your parents unless you mean to harm yourself/others etc, danger.

I wear a binder, but because the exercycle is in my room/garage, I can close the door and exercise shirtless, it is pretty hot here, and binders suck for exercise. Otherwise I wear a binder when I'm out, but not at home. I do have a smaller chest because of all the running I did. Not sure on what to do for cramps, sorry, off the top of my head I can recommend paracetamol, drink water, lie on stomach.
Cheers

[Sebby Michelango]

(TW: This is about periods so if you are grossed out or triggered don't read. This also mentions dysphoria.)

So. I'm 15. I got my period for the first time today, and I am so dysphoric. When I found out, I started crying (which was terrible) and my mother was like "It's good! It's your mark of womanhood! why are you crying?" BUT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M NOT A WOMAN. I don't know how to deal with the dysphoria, it's crippling and painful. Are there any trans guys who have ways to cope with this? I'm sorry I'm angry and not making sense.

-Tyler

You're luckier than me. I'm 15 like you. But Uncle Red/Shark week knocked at my door when I was 13. I was pissed off at that disaster. My mom said I handle it better than she expected. I told her how much ->-bleeped-<- it was. Then she said: "I know how you feel it. I hated it too" But in fact she's cisgender and have no idea about dysphoria. Not enough with that, she says every girls hate both, boobs and the shark week.

She thought every women hates getting boobs, getting hips and all the female features. But I doesn't believe that. She wanted to have a longer childhood, that was her deal. That isn't my thing. I'm not against growing up, I'm against developing in the wrong way.

I cope my Bloody uncle by treating him like a disease. I treat it like a bleeding disorder. Sometime I think it's a disease I'm born with and have to live with it as long I'm pre-everything. I try to not see it as a woman thing, but a disease like cold, but just much much worse.