Quote from: JoanneB on May 02, 2015, 05:28:48 PM
I tend to think that people reach "Male Fail" because they want to reach male fail. My general circumstances dictate that for my own good, my marriage, and my safety, I need to present primarily as male. I've also been on HRT for a good 5 years now, have a for real B cup. I doubt anyone other than my wife knows anything. Occasionally she'll say something like "Your tits are showing in that top". One I've worn before without comments. Perfection and angst on her part I suspect drives it. She sure is not a fan of loosing the male in her life.
I tend to dress in baggier clothes. A hold over from my former fatty days. I still have a LOT of of baggage body image issues there. The changes from HRT have allowed me to finally feel comfortable in my skin. It also SUCKS big time not to present as female like I used to.
How long can you? My own experience and that of some of my group members says that the emotional element is the limiting factor. As one member recently put it, "At some point you finally reach the stage when you just don't give a crap". Many days I struggle with "Why?"
What keeps me hanging in there is knowing my entire world stands to collapse if I make the leap to full-time. The lose of my career will hurt me emotionally more then financially. I have a semi-invalid wife I love dearly whose health is fading. She will likely stay with me when I go full-time, for how long is unknown. As she often reminds me "She did not marry a woman". Well, recently I've also been getting "I can't think of you as my husband with those bumps on your chest". We both know at this point if push came to shove I cannot swear off HRT as I offered to several years ago for US, for her.
The answer always comes down to "Which pain is worse?"
Bruce Jenner said that she was on HRT during the 80s for 5 years, and she even had a some facial plastic surgery during that time (nose maybe?). I basically did the same thing while I saved for FFS, and grew out my hair. HRT will soften your skin, distribute fat to enhance secondary female characteristics, and cause breast development, but it will not change bone structure or voice. So, you will look younger and have a softer look to your face, but facial features like brow bossing, masculine shaped nose, masculine jaw structure, chin height & width, distance from base of nose to the top of your lip, and Adam's apple, will not be affected, so unless you start HRT at an early age, you will most likely have enough masculine facial cues for people to still recognize you as male until you have FFS. So the only thing you will need to hide are your breasts, and even if people do notice them, they will probably just think that you have "moobs"; however, if you start presenting as male like Bruce Jenner has done within the last few years (i.e., eyebrow shaping, lip augmentation, wearing earrings, wearing makeup & lipstick, growing your fingernails & using polish, and getting a tracheal shave) people will put 2&2 together. So, my point is that most trans women can be on HRT for a while without anyone knowing they are transitioning if they want to, but if you adopt a lot of female mannerisms, and start walking like a woman, and speak with a female voice, then of course people will notice. I'm part Native American, and had very little facial and body hair before I started HRT, so I don't know how people will react to someone who has a lot of facial hair/shadow, and then has it removed via laser and/or electrolysis, but there has to be some kind of n"valid" excuse you can use if someone asks.
