Hey Dodie
I admire how big-hearted you are. It's also an amazing thing that your ex wife has been open and willing to remain a friend; heaven know that mine would have run a mile at the speed of light.
You ex wife's going on a date is actually a big step for your own emancipation, even though perhaps this is not obvious right now: you are in the process of letting go to some extent of the comfortable past and embrace an interesting future.
Sunshine and clouds - that's how it is for all of us, though we'd hope for more sun than rain. Mourn the boy who used to be, but not for too long, and rejoice in being the girl you now are. I think I was probably an ok guy, but the girl is a wonderfully more confident and assured figure - all she needs is some help opening bottles from time to time, and a few tweaks to her anatomy.
With our rebith, it's a wonderful thing to change focus, open up and see how we can be better people, more caring. These are great aspirations, and I wish you luck with them.
Could we really have stayed in our previous lives? Well, perhaps. But at what personal cost? I think we only get one crack at this world, and every day needs to matter in some way. And self realisation is only possible for us to achieve when we realise that we are not who we truly feel we are and we place ourselves in a less easy, less comfortable place in order to become that person both internally and externally. I've had a wonderful transition, yet this does not preclude the occasional moment of reflection on the changes in my life and how this has affected both me and the people close to me. We wouldn't be human if we didn't consider such things.
Hugs
Julia
