Transgender and children

[kye92]

Hello,
I'm finding very little information about transgender people who have had kids, I know there is Thomas Beatie but does anyone have any personal experiences or can reccomend books about this topic? (I like to read a lot).  Also just on a more personal note I am a gay FTM and am wondering what most gay men think about children?   
Kyle

[suzifrommd]

Don't know any books other than "stuck in the middle with you" by Jennifer Finney Boylan which was supposed to a memoir of a transgender parent, but really barely mentions how being transgender affects her parenting.

My own experience is that after my kids realized that my being trans wouldn't affect their lives much, we went on pretty much as we had before. I'm a little closer to my daughter and not quite as close to my son, but other than that, I'm like any other parent.

[iKate]

I have young kids and I talk about this a lot in therapy. My therapist has a reading list. I'll get it for you.

[kye92]

ok thanks guys I know there has got to be more books about transgender parents maybe it's just not something that is documented very much? 

[suzifrommd]

ok thanks guys I know there has got to be more books about transgender parents maybe it's just not something that is documented very much? 

Wonder if that's because there isn't a lot to say. Raising kids as a trans person is pretty much the same as raising them when you're cis.

[Metanoia]

Thinking about this as well... I've a youngin and another on the way...

I've read that it helps the younger they are... But I've yet to find that out for myself. Perhaps one day.

But yes, for my preschooler, I can only come up with metaphors like butterflies... But again... Not yet.

I did try carrying him on my hip ala woman... And he liked it and called me a girl.... Which was satisfying and intriguing as well...

Kids adapt. Hang in there

[Cindy]

I don't have children but a very close female friend has a 31/2 boy and a 5 year old girl. I dote on them as if they were my grandchildren.

The 5 year old knew me as a 'man', her Dad asked her a while back, as she was drawing a picture of me "Is Cindy a man or a woman?' She replied straight away, no hesitation or confusion "Cindy was a man, now she is a woman"

I think children have a very easy acceptance of adults.

Love to all MumDads and DadMums

[JulianES]

I would also love to see some books on the subject! My daughter is seven, and has known about this for two years. She grew up around the LGBT* community, so she already sees being trans* as normal, but I gave her two years of an ongoing open dialogue before coming out publicly and beginning to transition in any way. I probably didn't need to wait quite so long, but I wanted to be absolutely sure that not only I was ready, but that she was too. I think, however you go through this, like anything else with kids, making sure to keep an ongoing dialogue with them is best, so that they know that you're open with them and that they can ask any questions or discuss anything openly and honestly. I think if there is that level of communication with kids, it can be much smoother, and easier on them. But again, that's probably true with any big changes with kids.