dating issues.

[amber roskamp]

Ok so I'm frustrated with dating right now. Let's see there is a girl I liked on okcupid, and we were talking for about a week. Just 1-2 messages a day as I think our schedules were different. she stayed up late. I wake up early. And so far it was going great and she seemed really cool and funny. We had similar political views. Liked the same music. played the same instrument. Also we understood each other's humor. And she said that she thought I was cute.  So I decided that I was gonna see if she wanted to go on a date. So I asked her out to a local restaurant for this Saturday, and I get not response. This was Sunday. Today I log in and to check my messages and I see that she deleted her account or blocked me. Idk which.

If it was a one time thing then I would shrug it off , but it seems like it's a trend. At least in my experience it's like if I try to go on a date, the person I'm trying to date either doesn't respond despite the fact that they responded to anything else, doesn't show up for the date, or cancels the date earlier that day. It is super frustrating, and it makes me question what went wrong? It's to the point where I feel like their is a huge sign on my head that says "don't date her" Like it really hurts my self-esteem because I have had so many failed attempts and my longest relationship was 3 months and I am so lonely now. I don't even want to try dating anymore. 

[suzifrommd]

It's a problem with OKCupid. It's a free site so you get a lot of people that join it on a lark and are happy to potz around with the idea of going out on a date but when it comes time to show their face in person, well not so much.

I've been really persistent with it and put up with the abysmal success rate. I've ended up with about a dozen dates in the past year and a half, so it is possible. But persistence is the watchword if you're going to get anywhere with it.

Do you post that you're trans? Oddly, I found I got way fewer responses when I did, but the responses were higher quality.

You're young and you're cute. You will find someone. Keep at it.

[amber roskamp]

I've only had one date on okcupid, and it was the worst date ever.

I don't get that many hits, because I don't let straight people view my profile because I not out at work. plus, Lansing isn't a huge town to begin with. I'm pretty much stuck with dating in Lansing and east Lansing due to the fact that I don't own a car.

every time people flake, and it's really starting to hurt my confidence.

[enigmaticrorschach]

i tried online dating, didnt exactly work out for me. actually all relationships seems to fall on me. i lack the responsible "male" role and the roles switch. i think thats why they always end after awhile. go figure. would love to start dating again since now i actually have a job.

[amber roskamp]

i tried online dating, didnt exactly work out for me. actually all relationships seems to fall on me. i lack the responsible "male" role and the roles switch. i think thats why they always end after awhile. go figure. would love to start dating again since now i actually have a job.

I feel u hun .

[enigmaticrorschach]

after my last 4 relationships, i seriously doubt i'd ever work up enough nerve to date again. oh why how thou forsaken me.  well i guess we all have dating issues, just some got it worse than others. lets all sit on the couch, eat ice cream and watch reruns of this old house

[amber roskamp]

after my last 4 relationships, i seriously doubt i'd ever work up enough nerve to date again. oh why how thou forsaken me.  well i guess we all have dating issues, just some got it worse than others. lets all sit on the couch, eat ice cream and watch reruns of this old house

It's not a rerun if you've never watched it to begin with.  usually when both ice cream and couches are involved I'm in

[stephaniec]

that's what happens to me on OKcupid  I have conversations then they abruptly disappear , I put down I'm trans.

[Zoetrope]

What is worse is when you *do* go out on a date, and the person is the exact opposite of who you thought they were :~s

I might just have to try meeting people the old-fashioned way ... in person! :~o

[enigmaticrorschach]

What is worse is when you *do* go out on a date, and the person is the exact opposite of who you thought they were :~s

I might just have to try meeting people the old-fashioned way ... in person! :~o

haha, i have that same problem thus why i'm very skeptical of people online. oh the joys of being so young and sometimes dumb. lessons are always learned that way

[amber roskamp]

What is worse is when you *do* go out on a date, and the person is the exact opposite of who you thought they were :~s

I might just have to try meeting people the old-fashioned way ... in person! :~o

Well yes and no to the first part. Yes it makes for a bad date when that happens, but at least you can walk away with knowledge why it's not gonna work. When u get ditched out of nowhere there are just too many uncertainties for me to feel comfortable tbh. And it makes me feel worse longer.

Also I agree with the last part. But I don't think I'm gonna try dating for awhile, maybe I'll just hook up with some people instead. Though in the past I've had even less success with that.

[Ian68]

after my last 4 relationships, i seriously doubt i'd ever work up enough nerve to date again. oh why how thou forsaken me.  well i guess we all have dating issues, just some got it worse than others. lets all sit on the couch, eat ice cream and watch reruns of this old house

It's supposed to be cheesecake with Golden Girls, I thought...  XD.  Is this a girl's only thing?  Can I get a special pass if I bring the first season of the L Word and chocolate???

But seriously, Amber, you aren't alone with this.  Dating is hard.  But don't give up!

[enigmaticrorschach]

It's supposed to be cheesecake with Golden Girls, I thought...  XD.  Is this a girl's only thing?  Can I get a special pass if I bring the first season of the L Word and chocolate???

But seriously, Amber, you aren't alone with this.  Dating is hard.  But don't give up!

sry, no boys allowed xD haha!

[amber roskamp]

It's supposed to be cheesecake with Golden Girls, I thought...  XD.  Is this a girl's only thing?  Can I get a special pass if I bring the first season of the L Word and chocolate???

But seriously, Amber, you aren't alone with this.  Dating is hard.  But don't give up!

Omg the L word with chocolate. You get a pass. If u were in my area U'd probably get a date to. As long as the date involved the l word and chocolate. ;-) :-P

[enigmaticrorschach]

*rolls eyes* fine, but you better make it dark chocolate or imma draw on your face with lipstick while you sleep. we should so have a sleep over. i'll bring the mani-pedi kits! 

[Ian68]

That's my kind of date!  XD (be forewarned that if Bette Porter and Professor X from X-Men had a brainchild, I would be that child basically). Bahahaha!

[enigmaticrorschach]

i might actually get on this date to. haha! be prepared for double trouble if you can handle it ian 

[amber roskamp]

*rolls eyes* fine, but you better make it dark chocolate or imma draw on your face with lipstick while you sleep. we should so have a sleep over. i'll bring the mani-pedi kits! 

^^^^^ yes!!!!! All of this!!!

Yea then we could draw a penis on his face. I have the perfect stencil....

I really can't believe I'm posting that^^^

[amber roskamp]

i might actually get on this date to. haha! be prepared for double trouble if you can handle it ian 

Oh and it would be trouble 

[Ian68]

^^^^^ yes!!!!!

Yea then we could draw a penis on his face I have the perfect stencil...

I really can't believe I'm posting that^^^

Use Shiseido so that I don't break out. 

@Echo: I grew up as the only boy in a family full of women.  Bring it. XD