Acceptance into college has many meanings...

[Clueless]

A few days ago I was lost on how I felt about myself, and Mariah gave me the advice to make a list of how I feel about myself. I can't thank her enough for that because I feel so clear now. I've come to the conclusion the only thing I DO like about my gender now is not having the fear of what if. But now that I've figured out how I feel it's like life has turned on me.

I'm from a somewhat poor family and under normal circumstances wouldn't be able to go to college but, my father's position as an instructor at a local college gave me the biggest break the universe could offer, with tuition of only $50 a semester. That's INSANE. But it's all dependent on my father who fervently preaches the evils of homosexuality and transgender.

So now it feels like the world that was just opening up in myself is being sealed away. There's no other way I can possibly further my education without him, but no way for me to be myself if I do take up this opportunity. I don't know what I can do in this situation, I can't just throw away my education, but I don't want to live any longer than I have to hiding how I feel.

[suzifrommd]

There's no other way I can possibly further my education without him, but no way for me to be myself if I do take up this opportunity.

Hugs, Clueless. It's really difficult when the people who raised you and love you also have a blind spot that causes them to misjudge you.

May I point out that "no other way" is an extreme statement. Millions of people go on to college without their parents' help, though it may be a longer road and take a lot more patience. Yes, it would be easier with your father's financial help, but if the cost of that help is too high, I would claim that there are other roads to travel.

[katrinaw]

A few days ago I was lost on how I felt about myself, and Mariah gave me the advice to make a list of how I feel about myself. I can't thank her enough for that because I feel so clear now. I've come to the conclusion the only thing I DO like about my gender now is not having the fear of what if. But now that I've figured out how I feel it's like life has turned on me.

I'm from a somewhat poor family and under normal circumstances wouldn't be able to go to college but, my father's position as an instructor at a local college gave me the biggest break the universe could offer, with tuition of only $50 a semester. That's INSANE. But it's all dependent on my father who fervently preaches the evils of homosexuality and transgender.

So now it feels like the world that was just opening up in myself is being sealed away. There's no other way I can possibly further my education without him, but no way for me to be myself if I do take up this opportunity. I don't know what I can do in this situation, I can't just throw away my education, but I don't want to live any longer than I have to hiding how I feel.

Hugs Clueless, so feel for you...

How long do you need to be at college?
Is there a part time job you could take on to help you if you walk from your fathers offer? Apologise I'm from Australia and have no idea of costs where you are...
Can you get Education loans? (We have a scheme in Australia (mainly for Uni and further education) where the Government loans the Student enough to get through (excluding board and living expenses) which gets paid off after you complete the degree or course certifications etc...)

Education is such an enabler in todays world,  often small sacrifices may be needed. You don't have to give up on your desires and journey, its something you can embrace whilst you are skilling yourself for your future.

I know this hurdle seems insurmountable, but in the scheme of things it may not be. Try and research other ways of completing your education, you may well be surprised how it all falls into place.

hugs and x's

L Katy

[IdontEven]

I'm not sure it's ENTIRELY dependent upon your father. While it certainly makes things much easier, if he happens to cut you off then there are other means available. The college should have a financial advisor (and other advisors as well, hint hint) you could speak with.

Because your dad's part of the faculty, and I don't believe HIPPA applies to non-health related advisors, there's a chance if you came out and fully explained the situation to the advisor it could get back to your dad. Depends on how decent of a person they are and if you can swear them to secrecy on their own honor.

You could look into going to a different school. If your dad cuts you off then his income won't matter for the financial aid calculations. Grants, scholarships and other need-based assistance, with loans being a sort of last resort -will- get you through any school you can get accepted into.

The biggest thing would be to find a stable living situation while you're waiting for bureaucratic wheels to turn and the semester to start.

It is possible to do this completely without your dad, it will just be very hard, and very scary. The question is, do you want it bad enough to chase down what you want no matter what?

[Mariah]

Clueless I agree taking it up with an advisor at the school would help you out. I don't recall if you mentioned if the college  was a private one or not, but I am going to assume private there's still a chance their offer would remain even if he found out.  Regardless you could use the time while in college you can take  steps forward. That way you don't feel like you're standing still. A part time job could also help regardless of accepting their offer or not to help move forward with your transition and your education. I would check the college out and see what they can offer you. Then make another list of the pros and cons, but remember regardless you do have options even if it doesn't seem like it now. Remember we are here for you. Good luck and hugs
Mariah


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[Clueless]

Thank you all for the positivity in your replies, I was a incredibly stressed when I wrote my original post, and might have used terms much more liberally than they should be. I know that I could still get into college on my own but I have no savings put towards it, and it's always been my philosophy never to owe any money to anybody. I've seen the stress that student loans have put on my family and would like to get into a college with either having all the money up front if possible, but I know at the same time that most people who put off going to college right after high-school end up not going at all. The college I was going to attend is a state funded technical college so at least it's fairly cheap. I apologize for being so near sighted. I've started putting all of my income into savings for my education just in case. I'm sorry for being so melodramatic every time I post, I feel like I'm making the whole place stink of teen selfpity.

[Mariah]

You have nothing to be sorry about. Trust me we all have or have had those moments. That's a good thing because it means that offer should stand regardless. Hugs
Mariah