Advice (or what to do next)

[T90]

So I've been lurking round here for a while now and am still trying to get things figured out in my head (see my previous posts on here).

I've come to the conclusion that I would never want SRS and probably wouldn't want HRT, but I still can't shake the disconnect between my gender and my biological sex. I'm perfectly comfortable having a male body, but I often feel very strongly that I'm uncomfortable with appearing male, and would much prefer to be seen as female (or androgynous). In the last year I've discovered people like Conchita Wurst, and Andrew O'Neill, who I can identify with and feel inspired by, and a whole host of androgynous models who I'm incredibly jealous of.

The point of this post really is, what do I do next? I have no experience (or idea) of how to wear makeup, or even women's clothing, so I'm feeling incredibly trapped just now. Should I seek a support group, where others might help me, or is there another way? Any advice would be gratefully received.

[Laura_7]

Well you could start out slow... womens sweaters one or two sizes bigger... womens trousers... a good source could be second hand stores.
For everyday use you could try some light changes.

You could begin for example with a nourishing product for your face. This could give you a well kept and kind of androgynous look.
I'd recommend plant oil based like jojoba (unless allergic) .
You could add a light eyeshadow later, or some kind of unobtrusive chapstick. (I'd recommend organic... also because of possible digestion).

Additionally you could look for support groups.
Some might even have events for nonbinary people.


hugs

[T90]

Well you could start out slow... womens sweaters one or two sizes bigger... womens trousers... a good source could be second hand stores.
For everyday use you could try some light changes.

You could begin for example with a nourishing product for your face. This could give you a well kept and kind of androgynous look.
I'd recommend plant oil based like jojoba (unless allergic) .
You could add a light eyeshadow later, or some kind of unobtrusive chapstick. (I'd recommend organic... also because of possible digestion).

Additionally you could look for support groups.
Some might even have events for nonbinary people.


hugs

Thanks for the reply.

I actually hadn't considered using nourishing products, which would be a subtle way of taking the first step. I shall certainly look into that one, so thank you for the suggestion. 

There is actually a non-binary support group within forty minutes of where I live, which I've been thinking of going to for almost a year now, but haven't plucked up the courage yet. For some reason I feel nervous at the thought of turning up to a non-binary group looking completely male.

[doctorinkwell]

One thing that you might like to try is painting your nails. Try giving yourself a manicure. You don't even have to use colors; just use a clear coat.

I've started painting my nails, both with colors and with clear coats, shaping them, pushing back my cuticles, and it feels great. It's a relatively small change, but it's something you can try if you want to take it slow. Others don't notice very much if you only use clear coats

My first couple times trying it were a bit rough, but with time I got better at it. Now, I never go out without done nails, and it has been a nice first step for me.

I wish the best for you, love.

- Sam

[T90]

One thing that you might like to try is painting your nails. Try giving yourself a manicure. You don't even have to use colors; just use a clear coat.

I've started painting my nails, both with colors and with clear coats, shaping them, pushing back my cuticles, and it feels great. It's a relatively small change, but it's something you can try if you want to take it slow. Others don't notice very much if you only use clear coats

My first couple times trying it were a bit rough, but with time I got better at it. Now, I never go out without done nails, and it has been a nice first step for me.

I wish the best for you, love.

- Sam

Funnily enough, I used to get my mum to paint my nails with clear polish when I was a young child. Looking back that was probably something of a sign really.

Again I hadn't considered that now though, and doing clear polish along with nourishing product would perhaps be a more comfortable couple of first steps. Thanks for the advice Sam. 

[Asche]

There is actually a non-binary support group within forty minutes of where I live, which I've been thinking of going to for almost a year now, but haven't plucked up the courage yet. For some reason I feel nervous at the thought of turning up to a non-binary group looking completely male.

My experience has been that support groups don't expect you to present as  your preferred (non-)gender.  After all, if you were already where you wanted to be w.r.t. gender, why would you need a support group?  If this group is bothered by it, then it's not the group for you.

[T90]

My experience has been that support groups don't expect you to present as  your preferred (non-)gender.  After all, if you were already where you wanted to be w.r.t. gender, why would you need a support group?  If this group is bothered by it, then it's not the group for you.

Everything I've heard about the group sounds very positive, it's just a rather silly and irrational fear that I have. The fear of not being accepted or believed is probably what it is which, like I said, is irrational. I suppose it comes down to the fact that it is quite a big step to take. I did decide to go to the group one day last year, then wussed out at the last minute. I'm strongly considering going now. I guess the fact that I'm still considering it a year later means that I probably should go.