Timely thread, Jayne, thanks for starting it as this is something that's been on my mind a lot of late. For me it's essentially phantom torso, or at least it sure has the same quality as the ghosting sensations after my appendectomy. As a post-puberty, pre-everything MtF it's all the incongruencies one would expect from not having a female body. Not something which intrudes into conscious sensation but the phantom sensation is right there if I slow down during the day and pay attention. Sometimes it's dysphoric but most of the time I find it a deeply reassuring affirmation I really am female despite presenting male. So the occasional nights when my body sensations don't go female as I'm falling asleep are often disturbing.
Tops is the pelvic width mismatch. Rather frustrating as I was born round two decades too early to take blockers and redirect puberty, so epiphyseal closure's occurred long ago and HRT won't do anything for it physically (if HRT intensifies the sensations I probably wouldn't be able to stay on it without going loopy). Second is shoulder width, which kind of goes together with phantom breasts. And, if the sensations are strong or I'm really paying attention, phantom ribcage. I'm a side sleeper and often fold my arms in front of me. So with the combination of hips too narrow, upper body too wide, and insufficient forward projection finding a position that's psychologically comfortable and respectful of they way all of the various spaces are supposed to be can take some doing. Have tinkered around with a various sleep arrangements over the years and at one point was so frustrated waking up the first thing I did that day was stuff the mattress in the car and take it to rubbish.
Phantom vagina is a mostly a miss. Phantom labia and maybe some clitoris, yes, more when aroused. But the incongruence is no fun and overall it's quite off putting. Makes me contemplate an orchi, both to deal with the worst of the physical mismatch and see if I can work out an alternate androgen arrangement which lowers what little interest I do have in that direction.
Susan's hosts a number of earlier threads on phantom sensation which may also be of interest. They'll pop up on a search.
Quote from: Carrie Liz on May 27, 2015, 02:21:04 PMI'd always feel this great sense of disappointment when, while tucked like that, it started getting erect and I couldn't keep it tucked anymore, because I wanted it to stay that way.
This. So this. Complaining about the erectile response and my mother somewhat embarrassedly but gently telling me just to leave it alone is one of my earliest memories of being trans.
A SRS arrangement I've been wondering about is labiaplasty without vaginoplasty. Would be a less invasive procedure with, hopefully, a shorter recovery time. No need for dilation and might be cheaper as well. Certainly not for everyone. But it's a set of tradeoffs I personally am comfortable with at least in principle, having never cared much for penetrative sex in any form. Plus I spend a lot of time in the field where dilation is substantially more hassle than with indoor plumbing or even a dry cabin.
Quote from: Jayne on May 27, 2015, 07:07:11 AMOne of the reasons that this fascinates me is that I saw a you tube video a while ago with a man explaining that phantom limb syndrome is something that trans people do not experience after having corrective surgery to remove the parts they are uncomfortable with, whilst those who've been forced to have parts removed either due to medical reasons or accidents often report phantom limb syndrome.
The man in question being Prof. Robert Sapolsky of the epic beard at Stanford? If so, my memory is the clip's extracted from about 80 minutes into the Sexuality II lecture from Human Behavioral Biology. Great class and well worth watching all the lectures for the all sorts of interesting things they get into (it's on YouTube as a playlist). There've been a number of studies on the phenomena with varying results, much of the variability likely being due to small cohorts. Generally it seems MtF SRS exhibits a reduced prevalence of phantom sensation compared to traumatic genital removal---some of the more comprehensive references I'm aware of suggest something in the vicinity of one third incidence versus two thirds incidence---but the data is not well controlled for the retention of nerve connections in penile inversion vaginoplasty. It may be the difference is simply that of a carefully executed procedure versus injury.
So, Suzi, no worries. So far as I know the data suggests your experience is common.
Sorry not to provide links in the above; not enough posts yet. Working on that.
