Transmen are you ashamed of your emotions?

[Jake25]

Are you ashamed of your emotions especially when cis women try to compare them with you and yours don't match theirs? Does testosterone make you less emotional?

[FTMax]

No, not ashamed of anything. And I wouldn't say it makes you less emotional. Just differently emotive.

I have always been very low key emotionally, so that hasn't changed. I tend to stay right around a 3. I've found that I can't cry on T. It just hasn't happened, though there have been a few times that I would've liked to. I do get angry faster, and I am much more prone to fight back or argue than I was before.

[Tossu-sama]

T has made it harder for me to cry, almost to the point that I can't do it. It just requires A LOT for the waterworks to break open these days and I'm cool with that.

I think I was kinda ashamed of my emotions pre-T since crying was harder to control. I didn't like it at all because for some reason I had grown to think crying in front of other people is bad. Could be due to my childhood with my mom's pretty bad depression seasons etc but anyhow I avoided crying till I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

In contrast I'm more prone to express other emotions more easily, namely annoyance and anger but they also die down much faster.

[Jake25]

Thank you, FTMAX.

Tossu-sama, that is the kind of answer I would have liked to hear and I'm glad it's harder to cry on testosterone. I have depression and am frequently embarrassed about crying in public in the past.

[synesthetic]

sometimes, but i try not to be. i'm someone with an anxiety disorder - at one point, i just had to accept that i may be more fragile and emotional than a lot of people, regardless of gender. and that's ok.

[Jake25]

sometimes, but i try not to be. i'm someone with an anxiety disorder - at one point, i just had to accept that i may be more fragile and emotional than a lot of people, regardless of gender. and that's ok.

Yes, I am sort of a nervous person myself and have trouble accepting myself that way. I was hoping the T would make it go away some.

[Felix]

Testosterone made me much less emotional, but I'm still more feely and sensitive than most cisguys. I don't experience any shame about my feelings, though I do at times make social mistakes by forgetting to be rocksolid and macho or whatever.

[MugwortPsychonaut]

Gosh, I hope I'm not overstepping anything here, not being a guy and all.

Generally speaking, I think it's easier for trans guys to be free with their emotions, because they typically haven't been inundated with a lifetime of stupid, macho, boys-don't-cry indoctrination. Yes, testosterone makes it harder to cry, but crying doesn't make you any less masculine. It makes you a vulnerable, authentic human being.

In Beowulf, when the... (oh man, my memory of this is rusty...) Swedes(?) prepare to fight off the Vikings(?), don't they gather at the mead hall and cry their eyes out? Nobody's going to call out Beowulf on his masculinity.

[Jake25]

Testosterone made me much less emotional, but I'm still more feely and sensitive than most cisguys. I don't experience any shame about my feelings, though I do at times make social mistakes by forgetting to be rocksolid and macho or whatever.

I wouldn't worry about that. There are many cismen who don't have it emotionally together at all times.

[Jake25]

Gosh, I hope I'm not overstepping anything here, not being a guy and all.

Generally speaking, I think it's easier for trans guys to be free with their emotions, because they typically haven't been inundated with a lifetime of stupid, macho, boys-don't-cry indoctrination. Yes, testosterone makes it harder to cry, but crying doesn't make you any less masculine. It makes you a vulnerable, authentic human being.

In Beowulf, when the... (oh man, my memory of this is rusty...) Swedes(?) prepare to fight off the Vikings(?), don't they gather at the mead hall and cry their eyes out? Nobody's going to call out Beowulf on his masculinity.

Even living as a female from birth I've believed that crying is ok if it's not shown to anyone. I've cried in front of people before but was very embarrassed, because I believe it's wrong to show weakness. I believe weakness should be covered up at all times. I don't expect others to live up to this because I know the modern approach to feelings is to let it out.

[suzifrommd]

Not fully a guy myself, but if you didn't want us gals to chime in, you'd have posted in the FtM area, right?

I did live as a male for 50 years. I learned at a young age that it's not OK to cry. Sometime in my childhood, I lost the ability to cry when I'm upset. I get teary at happy endings but I don't seem to be able to make any of it happen when I'm sad. Now that I'm theoretically a girl and on estrogen, I thought it would be easier, but nope. Still not happening.

Now I envy women and their ability to let their emotions out that way.

But I think the lack of crying actually makes for stronger emotions, since the release isn't there. Can anyone relate?

[Jake25]

Not fully a guy myself, but if you didn't want us gals to chime in, you'd have posted in the FtM area, right?

I did live as a male for 50 years. I learned at a young age that it's not OK to cry. Sometime in my childhood, I lost the ability to cry when I'm upset. I get teary at happy endings but I don't seem to be able to make any of it happen when I'm sad. Now that I'm theoretically a girl and on estrogen, I thought it would be easier, but nope. Still not happening.

Now I envy women and their ability to let their emotions out that way.

But I think the lack of crying actually makes for stronger emotions, since the release isn't there. Can anyone relate?

Yes.

[Contravene]

Gosh, I hope I'm not overstepping anything here, not being a guy and all.

Generally speaking, I think it's easier for trans guys to be free with their emotions, because they typically haven't been inundated with a lifetime of stupid, macho, boys-don't-cry indoctrination. Yes, testosterone makes it harder to cry, but crying doesn't make you any less masculine. It makes you a vulnerable, authentic human being.

In Beowulf, when the... (oh man, my memory of this is rusty...) Swedes(?) prepare to fight off the Vikings(?), don't they gather at the mead hall and cry their eyes out? Nobody's going to call out Beowulf on his masculinity.

I was raised as female but I think that made me want to hide my emotions that much more because when I was younger I felt I had to in order to prove I wasn't actually a girl. So I, and I suspect a lot of trans guys, still got that "boys don't cry" indoctrination, just in a different form.


My family generally sees the show of emotions as some sort of weakness so I do still struggle with that perception but it's nothing to do with being male. Coming out and accepting myself as a man has actually helped me be more open to my emotions because it's like I don't have to prove anything anymore. A lot of guys seem to do the opposite and act like they have to start proving themselves by showing no emotion once they come out which is unfortunate because it just keeps perpetuating the stupid stereotype. I'm not sure how I'll be on T but I doubt it'll suddenly make it impossible for me to cry. It's frustrating to have a difficult time opening up emotionally when it's called for, I'm not sure why anyone would want to regress back to such a thing.

[Jake25]

I wish people wouldn't expect us to explain our emotions.

[MugwortPsychonaut]

I wish people wouldn't expect us to explain our emotions.

I don't understand. How could you feel this way?

No, I'm kidding! I totally agree with you!

[Contravene]

I wish people wouldn't expect us to explain our emotions.

I'm not sure what the context of this one is. It is a thread about explaining emotions after all.

[Jake25]

I was talking about mine are different than cis women's in general. I didn't want to have to explain anything to them.

[Contravene]

I was talking about mine are different than cis women's in general. I didn't want to have to explain anything to them.

Oh, I see what you mean. My group of friends in high school were mainly all girls so it was tough being able to relate to them emotionally a lot of times. Even now I haven't come out to a few of them so it's hard to relate. Two are getting all excited over planning their weddings and picking out dresses. When they talk to me about it I don't share their excitement for those things so I just try to keep the focus on them, it kind of helps in situations like that.

[Mosaic dude]

My family is very old school and emotions are frowned on no matter what sex you are, so I've always been ashamed of my emotions.   Luckily I'm not an emotional type of person by nature.  Testosterone hasn't made me less emotional,  but it has made me less susceptible to depression.   I can still be sad or feel down, but it doesn't spiral into a depressive episode the way it might without T.

[Jake25]

My family is very old school and emotions are frowned on no matter what sex you are, so I've always been ashamed of my emotions.   Luckily I'm not an emotional type of person by nature.  Testosterone hasn't made me less emotional,  but it has made me less susceptible to depression.   I can still be sad or feel down, but it doesn't spiral into a depressive episode the way it might without T.

That's good to know that testosterone can do that.