To live as MtF without SRS

[SwedenMtf]

Does anyone have experience with this? Will a relationship work? do you feel like a woman even if u still have male genitals?

[chloeD33]

Where do you live? Many places pay for srs.. In Canada anyway.

[Dena]

 I suspect many will voice their opinion but I had two years of cross living before I received SRS because of money issues. By the end of the second years, I understood if the surgery weren't available, I could be comfortable without the surgery. The complication in those days was you couldn't change you ID with surgery. I am glad I had surgery because it allowed me to close that chapter of my life.

Went back and looked at some of you old post. Your heart condition may not prevent surgery because some surgeons use better equipped hospitals and have a full response team available should problems develop while in surgery. This is one place where you will have to really shop around to find the right doctor to do the job. Just make sure the surgeon is aware of all of your risk factors before surgery so they will be prepared for any problems.

[Megan Rose]

When I went full time, having surgery wasn't a requirement for name or gender marker change.   HRT had done it's work, and I was comfortable being a non-op.    A year later I had changed my mind, surgery followed less than a year later. 

[kelly_aus]

I'm happily non-op. I've had one serious relationship and several not-so-serious ones, all with women. Yes, I've had rejections based on my physical setup, but they aren't as common as I thought they would be. As for 'feeling like a woman', I am a woman, regardless of what genitals I have..

[Jennygirl]

Happily non-op for me too ~ for now at least! I figure maybe someday I might want SRS, but I just don't want it bad enough right now to go through with it (quite happy as is).

I have dated a few people, no issues there. But, they have both been girls (trans and cis).

There is no rulebook that says you have to have SRS to be considered (or consider yourself) a woman! Do what makes you the most happy, and stick to that.

[Marlee]

I feel fortunate that I have very little dysphoria about my genitals. As for feeling like a woman? I don't know how others view me. But, even not having started HRT yet, I have always felt female. HRT will likely deepen that feeling a lot. But I doubt to the point to where I will ever consider SRS.
I know a few transwomen (aside from a few here) who are happily non-op. I very much celebrate the one's who do take that bold step though.

[RavenL]

Already given some thought to having SRS. Right now I'm not having much dyshoria and just look at it as skin. Like Marlee I feel female already. However my opinion might change once I get HRT who knows? But I do plan to get SRS a few years from now when the funds become available.

[Fashionite]

Even though I am not one of them, you will find that many women are happily living pre operative. It really just depends on what you feel is best for you. What makes you feel great and most true to yourself, can only make all other parts of your life stronger. 

[barbie]

I should maintain my family, and SRS or even HRT is not an option for me. More people nowadays treat me as a woman, but admittedly a part is a half joke. My little daughter jokingly calls me mom and her mom dad.

barbie~~

[GayaXLuna]

I fully feel and identify as female, and I plan on NOT getting a SRS operation. It's an incredibly painful recovery and death can occur during the surgery. It's a very scary thing, rewarding yeah probably, but very scary and risky.

Even full transsexuals say you don't have to have it to be truly trans.

Sent from my LG-D850 using Tapatalk

[SwedenMtf]

I suspect many will voice their opinion but I had two years of cross living before I received SRS because of money issues. By the end of the second years, I understood if the surgery weren't available, I could be comfortable without the surgery. The complication in those days was you couldn't change you ID with surgery. I am glad I had surgery because it allowed me to close that chapter of my life.

Went back and looked at some of you old post. Your heart condition may not prevent surgery because some surgeons use better equipped hospitals and have a full response team available should problems develop while in surgery. This is one place where you will have to really shop around to find the right doctor to do the job. Just make sure the surgeon is aware of all of your risk factors before surgery so they will be prepared for any problems.

Its true - however the doctors who have read my journals has said that it shouldn't be a problem. But they can't say for sure until the day I want it.. since well things can change in 2 years. However I got 100% clearens for HTR. Now I'm just thinking - what if I dont want the surgery - but at the same time.. I wanna wear a bikini.. and I have never been tucking.. and it seems like an awfull morning process to tuck everyday.

[Violet Bloom]

  I hate tucking (and re-tucking every trip to the bathroom) and I hate worrying all the time whether or not anything shows.  It's uncomfortable and too hot also.  But it does work well because I am presentable in just about anything, including a bathing suit.

  For the most part I am able to just ignore my male parts and for now I am satisfied without SRS.  I have not returned to the dating pool yet so I don't know how much trouble this may be there.  My female identity is secure and strong regardless of my genitals.  I don't really have any intention of using my penis sexually and I am fully-orgasmic in a female way using alternatives anyway.

[pretty pauline]

I'm happily non-op. I've had one serious relationship and several not-so-serious ones, all with women. Yes, I've had rejections based on my physical setup, but they aren't as common as I thought they would be. As for 'feeling like a woman', I am a woman, regardless of what genitals I have..

Very very true, all our situations are different, for me it wasn't an option, started transition at 16, wasn't even thinking of SRS, then as transition progressed and living as a straight woman, dating men and having a boyfriend, the male genitals had to go, so eventually had SRS, I'm now a married woman with a fantastic husband, that wouldn't possible if I didn't have the surgery, recovery was painful, slow and tedious, but being a straight woman, dating straight men, I've no regrets having the surgery and I do feel complete.

[Girl Beyond Doubt]

In the end our answers will be largely irrelevant to you, because your decision to have SRS or not has nothing to do with what anybody else does.

When I decided to start my transition two years ago, it was clear from the first day that I would have SRS as soon as possible. It was not about relationships, but about how I wanted my body to look and feel. Without the surgery I would have had to live on with the ever growing desire to have the right body, and I did not want that miserable nagging feeling to go on and grow worse year after year as it had done for so long.

There are other MTFs who do not suffer like this and feel comfortable with their male parts attached, and I think that the pressure coming from parts of our society is no valid reason at all for them to have SRS. Whether relationships work is up to the people involved, the important things happen between the ears, and I have heard that genitalia, of any kind and in any combination, can be fun if used correctly ;-) ...

[chloeD33]

Oh crud I read this wrong! I think srs doesn't make one less of a woman. Be strong girl, and there are cis women and men out there who are accepting of that!

[JoanneB]

Besides having GD all my life the other constant has been surgery not being on top of the list. My number one desire has always been to be seen as and accepted as a woman. I guess perhaps because I never saw myself as male and far from accepted as one.

If I had transitioned in my 20's when I experimented with it, perhaps I might have felt differently. Plus the 80's was a far different and more hostile world then today's. So I can imagine surgery becoming more important, just for the being a normal aspect. Today, as transitioning fully is a very real option and 6 years on HRT, a Crocodile Dundee panty check is the last thing I worry about. I saw I can achieve my life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman. At my age, I doubt my feeling will change. My wife feels the opposite.

My general guiding principal all this time is that there are no rules, no have-to's, no schedules. Just do what you need to feel better about being you and being able to live in your own skin. I spent 50 years trying to live up to others expectations for me untill I figured out that was far more costly to by soul then living up my expectations for myself, which I am still trying to sort out

[Jenna Marie]

I considered my transition 100% done and lived as a woman comfortably and without too much difficulty for 2 years before I went in for GRS (which was a finishing touch done for me only, not the endpoint of my transition or something that made me "more of a woman"). In that time, I even showered in locker rooms and went swimming in a bikini; it was a bit nerve-wracking, but doable.

I was lucky enough to be able to change all of my legal documentation without surgery, though. Living with a penis was no big deal, socially; living with ID and documents that had the wrong name or gender was a pain in the butt constantly.

[OCAnne]

Hello Everyone, I felt phoney and incomplete before SRS.  Often dreaded being asked by people I hardly knew,  when am I having my surgery.  What caused me the most emotional pain was everyday seeing a penis where my vagina should have been.  That had robbed me of self confidence. Lets not also forget preventing me from engaging in sexual intercourse with a man.

Living without undergoing SRS was not going to work for me.  In fact everything else (cosmetic) had to wait until that day came.
Now that I am post-op.  Life is beyond awesome and I no longer care if I get the occasional sired, he or him.  I just smile and make the correction with total confidence.  Pretty easy when I view myself as the real deal.

Thank you,
Anne