I now understand why women complain so much

[DawnOday]

Nothing beats taking the time to look good. My wife wishes that were true in my male mode. However when you get it just right. No mascara smudges, eye shadow fallout, skin looks flawless. I feel so good about myself. There is just one problem. Wielding that dang iron across my skull. Some time I think about hitting the burn unit at the hospital afterwards.

[jentay1367]

I spent a lifetime not caring and it showed. One of the best parts about accepting myself is pampering myself. I actually enjoy going all narcissistic and getting OCD with all the girly stuff. Most women, including my S.O. tell me they are so over it, but I tell them I never got a chance to be over it, so I'm making up for lost time. I have had to train myself not to listen to criticism regarding how much time I spend in the bathroom, applying makeup, wearing skirts or dresses. Etc..etc.. I don't take it personally....nor do I give it any power or pay attention. I just nod and go about my business . Might be a lot of work, but if you enjoy it, it ain't work. I've taken care of everyone my whole life. I'm overdue for some me time. 

[barbie]

I spent a lifetime not caring and it showed. One of the best parts about accepting myself is pampering myself. I actually enjoy going all narcissistic and getting OCD with all the girly stuff. Most women, including my S.O. tell me they are so over it, but I tell them I never got a chance to be over it, so I'm making up for lost time. I have had to train myself not to listen to criticism regarding how much time I spend in the bathroom, applying makeup, wearing skirts or dresses. Etc..etc.. I don't take it personally....nor do I give it any power or pay attention. I just nod and go about my business . Might be a lot of work, but if you enjoy it, it ain't work. I've taken care of everyone my whole life. I'm overdue for some me time. 

Yes. Me, too!

barbie~~

[BioWoman]

It's really not that bad. The most time I take is shaving and using a body scrub. Other than that I dont take long to get ready. Hell most days I just slap on clothes and go when it's not a special occassion.

[kayla1618]

As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

After making the decision to transition now, it was almost like a switch went off. 
I now shower everyday.  Exfolitate, shave, moisurize, teeth whiten.  The whole nine yards. 
Not because I care how I look, or how others see me ( I barely leave the house, and work from home), but because I'm moving towards the person I am, and thats a great motivator for self-care.

Shaving/Nairing my body, is something I look forward to doing.  Such an amazing feeling.

But as for makeup and getting ready, yeah I could take that or leave it.
But society isn't too kind, and its actually a necessity for safety in some ways for alot of trans women.  Even if they don't like it, they almost "have to" do it.  Which is kinda sad.

Good TED talk on the topic

[barbie]

As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

After making the decision to transition now, it was almost like a switch went off. 
I now shower everyday.  Exfolitate, shave, moisurize, teeth whiten.  The whole nine yards. 
Not because I care how I look, or how others see me ( I barely leave the house, and work from home), but because I'm moving towards the person I am, and thats a great motivator for self-care.

Shaving/Nairing my body, is something I look forward to doing.  Such an amazing feeling.

But as for makeup and getting ready, yeah I could take that or leave it.
But society isn't too kind, and its actually a necessity for safety in some ways for alot of trans women.  Even if they don't like it, they almost "have to" do it.  Which is kinda sad.

Yes. Many women here do not take care of their appearance, especially aged women.
Some of my friends complain that most working women at my age here do not wear makeup and always insist wearing trousers or  jeans, not skirts. I also do not take care of myself when I am busy. Whenever I have leisure time or am excited for some events, yes, I try to wear something special. It is fun and a kind of stimulant for my life.

Enjoy it!

barbie~~

[flytrap]

Not taking care of yourself is a big marker of alot of psychological conditions.

Primping is one of those things that expands to fill the time you give it. Most days it takes me about a half hour to take a shower and do my face. Closer to an hour if I want to look pretty and flat iron my hair, wear tights or do something special with my makeup.

[Roll]

As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

Yep, that was me. The sad part was it was also a large reason I couldn't see past my appearance to what was underneath, making it a bit of a self defeating practice in my case.

[Chloe]

As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like . . . A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.

Sooo true Kayla!!! With so many people and problems we deal with everyday turns out "taking care of oneself" is the only thing we have any real control over. Had a person "on the job" last week say I don't look a day over forty (a guy no less ) don't want to wear makeup yet look young again going full transition while hiding it any way I can?? Have once again become a platinum skin care VIP member my face and eyes positively STING as I head out the door in the AM! Even 'ex' agrees I've been in a better mood overall.

As hair gets longer (again!) just bundle it under my work cap (again?) I'm very good at my mundane job(s) I keep it because there's no "dress code" to it. What is dispatch and highly religious owner gonna do? Accuse me of looking girlish?  ( which, if one thinks about it, is not a very mature way to be and only goes to show how inhibiting NOT TRANSITIONING for so long can be?? )

[sarah1972]

Same here. I could barely look in the mirror and tried avoiding it for days in a row. Unshaven, buzz cut just to avoid the dreaded mirror. Run away from any kind of photo op. Lotion was a once a year thing.

Has all changed now and my photo stream is filled with selfies. Lotion is applied twice a week and I spent a good amount of time caring about myself... to the point where it annoys my wife...

As a guy, I didn't give a crap what I look like, and I'd go like 1-2 weeks without shaving, 3-5 days without showering or brushing my hair.  Mostly wear the same clothes day in and day out, and hated having my picture taken.

A therapist told me a big marker to know if you're trans or not, is how much you don't take care of yourself in your assigned gender.  The logic behind it being that you don't identify with your image in the mirror, so why would you bother taking care of it.

Yes, I do complain about the amount of work required in upkeep. But when I get gendered correctly as a result or get compliments for my look it is all worth it...

[Julia1996]

I don't mind spending a lot of time on my appearance at all. I wear makeup every day if I'm going some where or not and I don't mind the time it takes to maintain my hair, nails, etc. I have a few older ladies as clients and they don't wear makeup, they dress for comfort instead of looks and they all like really short hair. I must admit that I sometimes have trouble figuring out the gender of some elderly people. One of my clients summed it up pretty well. She told me to wait 50 years and see if I still want to fool with my hair and makeup every day. I can kind of see her point. I wouldn't say elderly women "let themselves go". They don't really. They are just tired of doing makeup and all of that and I can understand that.

[Michelle_P]

Honestly?  I am definitely not going to complain.  I don't feel right until I've got my face on.  Part of that is likely my use of makeup to minimize testosterone damage in the face.   

That hasn't stopped me from trying to spend less time, of course.  I can get my face on with a short-cut version of my old drill in 10 minutes, and it lasts all day with minor care.  That makes me happy.

I also have always kept it subtle, to the point where friends who finally saw me sans makeup in the hospital  were surprised, realizing that I HAD been wearing makeup all that time!   That was fun, sort of. 

[Lady Sarah]

As for myself, I refuse to wear cream makeup. It makes my wrinkles look worse. If I'm going somewhere special, I'll apply some translucent powder and a little mascara. Otherwise, I don't bother with makeup.
As for hair, I won't get a cut or perm that's requires a lot of maintenance. I just want to brush it out in the morning. People see me like that every day, and nobody questions my gender.
Of course, I don't live in the big city, or have to dress to the nines every day. Except for being a bit tall, I blend in just fine with minimal effort, just like most of the women where I live.

[flytrap]

You are right about the cream foundation. As a person's face ages at some point the right powder and a touch of concealer to take off the shine from moisturizer/sunscreen will look much better than applying a heavy foundation.

[Michelle_P]

Yes!   As my electrolysis work has progressed so far, I've been able to drop the concealer and opaque foundation in favor of tinted BB cream moisturizer or sunblock in the summer, and now in our mid-fall, I just use a simple moisturizer (Cetaphil), and powder eye, bronzer, and highlighter, along with the eyeliner and brow brush (colors hairs, not so much skin, more subtle than a brow pencil).

I don't get that wrinkly crinkly look like I did with the heavy foundation after several hours.

Makeup drill takes maybe 10-15 minutes.


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[Allison S]

You ladies are lucky. Makeup alone will take me an hour and a half alone, maybe 2 hours if I mess up. I'm hoping after FFS I won't have to be so caught up with all the latest makeup tricks. I do love when someone else does my makeup for me though.

I haven't gotten to hair yet because mine is still short. I hope by that point it'll help me look more passable and then makeup will be less of an issue. Mostly it's my nose anyway which even with makeup it doesn't help much [emoji17]


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[Michelle_P]

You'll find with practice your makeup routine will get faster.  I found that some of the steps and potions I had been sold were not necessary, and were counterproductive. (An eye 'serum' primer that took 10 minutes to apply and set, for example, that led to a caked and cracked appearance under the eyes 6 hours later!)

A lighter look concentrated on the shading and contour tricks I use to forehead, nose, cheeks, and jawline is pretty much my daily look now.


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[flytrap]

@Michelle_P
Tinted BB is the best invention in makeup since mascara!

[Tessa James]

I must admit that I sometimes have trouble figuring out the gender of some elderly people. .

LOL, Julia that is often true and something I count on as an old thang ...Joking just a little but I'm practical and have the gift of being non binary and not trying to achieve any look but my own   We keep em guessing and i encourage people to assume nothing about another's gender.

[Aurorasky]

When I was 18, just started HRT, I would spend a lot of time on my makeup, more than anything else. I didn't really have a goood skin care routine and didn't clear my face well so I got some blemishes and then I just caked in more Foundation making the problem worse. I was really insecure that I looked too guyish even if I didn't for only 2 months on HRT so I wore makeup everyday and was so tired when I got home (I worked two jobs), that I would not wash my face properly.  Then I realized I was ruining my skin so I stopped and started taking good real care of it until it became so soft and glowing that I really don't need any Foundation on a daily basis so I don't wear.

I also spent a lot of time on clothes, it was hard to figure out what would complemente my then rectangular shape. I was really skinny. But HRT also helped with curves so I can't complain. Nowadays I spend less time but I'm a pratical girl and the only makeup I wear everyday is macara but I just bought a lipstick I lovelovelove, so I may start wearing that lipstick as well. I just love the color. Lol. I have a hard time finding a good lipstick that compliments my fair skin. rant over. I do like dresses, but not skirts, lol, skinny jeans and most girly clothes. I spend some time trying to choose my outfit and I always want to look casual, but pretty. Sometimes I risk a bit more. Others times I opt for Comfort and there goes the handy sweatshrit. Hahahah