Yes, dear, coming to terms with your gender is selfish. Unfortunately it's something some of us have to do. The alternative can be unbearable - dysphoria, regret, resentment. It's just too much to ask of us, selfish or not, to continue pretending to be someone we're not for the rest of our lives.
The advice is hard to take, because this is a scary time. Here's what I've got. I hope it helps:
* Recognize and accept that you can't control what your wife decides to do and feel about your gender exploration.
* She may react, negatively and she may react positively. Because you have no control over which happens, it's wise to be prepared for both possibilities.
* You may already have done this, but make sure she is educated about being trans. Make sure she knows you didn't choose this, it doesn't go away on its own, there's no cure, and it can literally destroy you if you ignore it.
* Keep posting. We're here for you when you need us.
Hugs, Emily. This was the toughest part of my journey. You have the strength to deal with whatever happens.
