UPDATE: (The majority of you were spot on! She was not looking to help me at all. Only take my money while denying me HRT, I may need to report her)
First off, I was late to my appointment, 15 mins. No excuses, It was pouring rain, and at the main lights, Cops and Ambulance were going thru and messed up the light signals
, took almost 10 mins before we got thru the light, and then everyone was driving 20mph slower than normal on the highway. ' What could I do?
Right aways she is nasty "You are late, this had better not happen, I still expect my full check for a full session, you have the check?
I said "sure no problem, it is full payment. I understand that. Sorry I was late, I actually left early and happen to get stuck at a light due to an accident. Nothing I could do. Sorry"
She continued for 5 minutes about how she can not help me if I am not there for a full session... How there is no acceptable excuse. bla. bla. bla,. I tried to interrupt, saying "sorry" a bunch.
Finally I say "Look I was late, and it can't happen again, we established that, I payed you the full amount, and we now waisted 5 more minutes on you telling me ALL the reasons I can not be late. Got it! I won't be late again. Can we move on?"
Quiet for 2 minutes
So she asks me "Ok, so how are things with you? is there something you want to talk about"
"Comfort", I reply.
She looks at me queerly, "What do you mean comfort?"
I tell her "I came to you for guidance and counseling for my transition, I am not here for your permission to go on HRT. I am going on HRT and I want a Therapists I feel comfortable with to be there for me when I transition."
She asks "Well are you uncomfortable with me? are you saying you want to get a different therapists."
I reply "Look, I thought you were alright but I feel that you don't trust me, and yet I have no reason to lie to you. You made me uncomfortable by accusing me of already doing hormones, you said it 4 times in our last session."
She says," This is the same questions I ask other patients"
I say," Oh, and you ask them 4 times and on the last time, draw out an hourglass stopping at my breast area, and then say "explain all this and why do you have boobs?" "
She says "I never said that!"
I say "What!, you most definitely did, and made me very uncomfortable. With your line of questioning , each worded a bit different , you were insinuating that I was on hormones, you were trying to manipulate me in to saying untruths."
She says "You are the one trying to manipulate people, you came in here day 1 asking about HRT, acting like you know everything, now you are telling me that you will get HRT with or without a letter from me, I will be calling your doctor for sure"
I said "Go for it! She sent me here for HRT, she wanted me to establish a good relationship with a Therapists because she is ready to start me on HRT, I am as healthy as I been in years and she says we are good to go. Best to start it now before a lymes disease relapse. Did you get the paperwork she sent over?"
Her "Yes"
Me "Did you read it?"
pause...
Her "No, not yet"
me "Then how can you say I am manipulating you? If you read the documents you can see my hormone levels are normal, proof I am not taking meds, and there is a letter from my doctor explaining the hormonal balance vs lymes disease issue. and what her agenda is"
Her "This is not about lymes disease. This is about your mental health."
Me "Wait, you are wrong, lymes disease mimics all kinds of mental and hormonal issues. Just to name a few, bi-polar, depression, anxiety can all be caused by lymes bacteria flourishing. Lymes eats testosterone and collagen causing many issues. There is a whole list. Try researching it sometime, it is a fascinating bacterium.
Her "You are here about mental health issues"
Me "No, I am here about HRT, my mental health is fine. Yes, a few years back when I was very sick, I was depressed, maybe bi-polar, had a drinking problem... but not now, I feel great, I don't drink, I eat right." I look forward to the future again, I am happy until I visit you."
Her "I think you still have some underlying mental health issues that need to be evaluated"
Me "Of course you do, If there is some mental disorder you can label me with, you will do so, because that means more money for you. Well, I tell you what! I don't like pills or drugs and I will not be coerced into taking any drugs for mental conditions that you "think" exist. I would obviously get a second opinion. So whats the prognosis? Am I bi-polar , depressed, manic? what?"
Her "You are one of them for sure, just look how you are acting, so argumentative."
Me "argumentative? I am just stating facts. You seem like you want to deter me and argue about things you know nothing about. You are hired to provide me therapy, to council me and be my friend.
Her "Oh no! we are not friends. I am only your therapists"
me "My doctor is my friend, I trust her. How can I trust you if we are not friends? If you don't even trust me ?" I trust my dentist, we are friends to an extent. The opposite of friends is enemies, I won't take advice about my mental state from an enemy.
her "I am your therapists and the law says we can not have a relationship beyond that. I do not become friends with my clients"
me "Yeah, I read that too and it says a romantic or sexual relationship, it says nothing about friends. It does not say you should treat me inhumanly. So you treat all your clients this badly?, interesting"
her ... silence
me "Does it bother you that I am more intelligent than you? I can see it bothers you, but I have an allergy to BS, I am not going to put up with it from anyone."
Her (scribbling in pad) "Ahh see there , delusions of grandeur"
me "haha seriously? you are now calling facts ,delusions. Pick any test, even an advanced psychology test and I will score higher than you without studying, I guarantee it.
her "Superiority Complex!"
me "Yes, you have had one since I met you, I was hoping we could work thru it."
silence...
me " So tell me, do you think I am bipolar, is that the one you are going with. I need to know so I can get a second opinion from my other therapist."
her "Could be"
me "So your not going to tell me? 't feels like you don't even care about me, care about my well being at all. I told some of my friends about our last encounter and the cisgender ones say that it sounds like you don't know how to help me or want to. My transgender friends say you are acting as a "Gatekeeper". The worse they have heard of."
Very angrily she states "I do not care what your friends think."
I said "Yeah, I see this, and you don't care what my Doctor says, and you don't care what my lab results say, you didn't care to read them. You don't care what I say. You don't care about me at all , only my money.
her "You don't even care to show up for you counseling on time, so apparently you don't care about your own well being"
Me "Oh back to this again, I already apologized profusely for that, are we going to go in circles now?"
her "You have been late to every one of our sessions!"
me " That is a blatant lie! I was early to all my other sessions, you let me in late. That is the second time you lied to my face today, I can never trust you!"
her "we are done, get out of my office NOW or I am calling the police"
me "wow really, well I am putting a stop payment on that check?"
her " If you do I will contact you Doctor and trust me, I will make sure you NEVER get HRT"
me " pfft, ha, good luck with that, you are a nut!"
her "Get out of my office right NOW! I am dialing the police now"
me "later... you know you don't have to be such a bitch"
I closed the door softly (wanted to slam it but didn't). I called my Doctors office right away and told them to not give her any more Info, that she is no longer my therapist. I briefed them on what happened, and they want to hear more about it on my appointment Friday, the were not happy with her. I also went to the bank and payed to have the check stopped.I am looking into filing a formal complaint. I may also post some online reviews to warn others.
I am actually quite calm about the whole ordeal, I figured I would give her the benefit of the doubt and try one more session with her. What a mistake that was! I should of listened to the majority of you folks here! That woman is a quack!
Hugs,
-Jade
