Sorry to hear you're not happy with how things have gone, transitionregrets. As for the FFS stuff, you're right: no amount of FFS will make a highly-masculine face look feminine. More feminine, perhaps, but there's a limit to what FFS surgeons can do. They'll take your money and make your promises, however, so you're right to caution against believing every word that comes out of an FFS surgeon's mouth. It is a business to them (and in some cases a highly lucrative business), and they're not in it for the primary purpose of improving our lives, but rather for the primary purpose of improving their bank balances. I'd go so far as to say that the current "top" FFS surgeons in the US are milking the trans community and feeding us mutton dressed as lamb. They see an opportunity to take advantage of some very insecure individuals who would pay any amount to change their faces, but that's a whole different post for a whole different discussion.
My concern is that you seem (1) surprised that your transition was not a glowing success, and (2) rather reluctant to take much responsibility for the outcome. It's common knowledge that there's many of us (me, for example) who won't be "passable" when all is said and done.
No matter what anyone says to me, I'm pretty realistic in terms of what I'll look like and how I'll be treated afterwards. From my starting point, there's no chance in hell that I'll end up beautiful; jeez, I might not even end up remotely feminine. But it's no surprise, and by the sounds of things, you shouldn't have been too surprised when you had the physical outcome you ended up with either. We're all stuck with our individual starting points, and we can only really hope for so much movement towards femininity regardless of what others tell us. Common sense, really.
My transition is also entirely my fault. Nobody puts the pills in my mouth except me. No surgeon takes a knife to my face without my full and clear consent. No surgeon starts hacking away at my private parts until I've clearly demonstrated to him or her that I fully understand what I'm doing and that I take full responsibility for the outcome (excluding, of course, medical errors.) Sure, there's a whole bunch of marketing BS that is thrown at us as surgeons compete for our hard-earned dollars, but I think that most of us see it for what it really is: puffery. But I've done my research, taken my time, and also taken my chances with the whole transition process. And regardless, it's entirely my own decision. To claim that you were swayed into anything by listening to a surgeon's sales pitch strikes me as a little unusual. Surely the largest part of your decision-making process was independent research and thought?
Your post also comes across as very "hey guys, 50% chance you'll love transition and 50% chance you'll hate the outcome." There may be good and less good outcomes, but it's still rather rare for anyone to get to the point of being post-surgery before they realize that transition is not for them. Off the top of my head, I'd suggest that for people who get as far down the road as you have with transition, 90% are happier than before. So while caution should be emphasized, so should the fact that the vast majority of us are so much happier for having transitioned than we would have been if we had not.
I hate to offer such a strongly-worded counterpoint to your posts, transitionregrets, but I think there's a couple of rather glaring issues with your transition that probably led you to the unhappy place you currently occupy.
A little research, introspective thought, and responsibility for your actions would have virtually guaranteed that you'd either have not transitioned in the first place or been happy with the results you were able to achieve.
So where now? I know you hate this suggestion, but therapy? Not a gender therapist, but one who might help you deal with regret. Also how about FFS revision work? What else about you is unpassable? Body size? Hair loss? Mannerisms and voice? Is this "all in your head" and do you actually pass rather well but merely think you don't? How about working on not giving a damn what other people think and living your life in a way that makes you happy? I don't know what other suggestions to offer, but please don't spend the remainder of your days feeling sorry for yourself. It's no way to live.
All the best.
