Thank you Leah, Jennifer, melissa and wickham
Wickham I have enjoyed reading your tips on fashion & makeup & have looked with interest at the info on your web page. Wish that I had the knowledge - any attempts I made, I end up looking like a clown or a drunken prostitute
good makeup is definately an art and a science & obviously- as stated - requires heaps of practice.
Peggiann, I do come often & read the forum posts - info & experiences and topics contained are fantastic & very helpful. Sadly being Australian when I get to chat most US people are asleep - thats the problem with living on different ends of the earth I guess.
Actually I will take this opportunity to ask your advice - I note that you always have a clear & helpful take on things
. Let be give you a brief background.
From time to time I used to dress up in my wifes clothes put on her makeup, was as if my spirit was about to soar like a bird - then I would see myself and was if my wings were broken, I would come crashing down amid feelings of dispair & disgust and resolve never to do it again - and so things would go on till next time.
A bit over a year ago circumstances were such that I acknowledged the rana part of me, one small part of it was the internet, amongst which was my reading of web pages of other men whose circumstances were very similar to mine but they had the courage of their convictions and did somthing about it - coming across as decent people & definately not gay or perverted.
In short I told my wife, her reaction was strange, more accepting that I was expecting (in some things) but when she heard that I visited TS chat sites her reaction was one of deep anger. (It was suggested to me that I should have discussed rana with her instead of with other people - which was a spot on observation thats how she saw it I realise now).
I said I would seek therapy and to her great surprise I did. It was the best thing that could have happened to me, after each session I would go home & discuss it with her, she was extremely interested, I had always came across to her as loving but remote and inscrutable & insensitive (self absorbed really - but it amounts to the same thing).
Anyway, our relationship has improved so very greatly in every aspect - we are more open with another, do much more together & enjoy each others company more fully. By unspoken mutual agreement no further discussion of rana has taken place until our children leave home (another 6 weeks). I now shave my legs and keep them that way, my wife objected at first but since stopped and when we make love she strokes them so I am hoping maybe she is at ease with some things.
The problem? came a few days ago, since we go walking & swimming together we are fitter & have lost weight, my wife had some of her clothes that no longer fitted her and we were going to drop them off in a charity bin. There was a pair of shorts that would have fitted me, so I thought 'why not', and suggested that they were worth keeping, my wife said that she would not be wearing them again so I thought its now or never & said 'said what about for me'. She then said no they were too feminine - then quickly "Oh and they wrinkle too easily, never look neat".
There you have it, I know I have to discuss this, but frankly I am scared - things are really good - I dont want to jeapordise them--- but
Peggiann its not advice I want, I know what I have to do, but how to go about things is worrying me
Geez what a loong post - am sorry everyone, I rabbit on
