Coming out to my best friend

[Sadephanie]

I am going to come out to my best friend in the world tomorrow and I'm feeling confident she will accept me but I am still scared about it.. Any advice would be nice.

[ToniB]

Just be Yourself I have Found Women to be Far more accepting of us than I would have ever believed. If she is truly a  good friend she will be a great help to You .It is always good to have a female to advise and help you learn the correct mannerism's and to advise on clothes and Makeup .My ladies at Work are a real godsend as they will always tell me weather I am getting it right or wrong .So I wish You all the Luck in the World and hope she is the Friend You Need

[Sadephanie]

Thank you. I hope she will be able to see me for who I am and still care about me as much as she already does.

[ToniB]

Be honest with Her Women prefer the truth rather than a  hinted at type approach in my experience . My girlfriends always say that since I came out at work I am a nicer Person because I am able to relax and be myself and they react positively to that. So with any luck You will find the same with Your Friend

Hugs Toni

[warlockmaker]

In my experience coming out to my girlfriends, female family members and female employees and have all been very positive. Be honest and speak from your heart. There has been around 50 I have told and not one negative. Compared with my longtime male friends where I'm 50/50 and thats those on a selected basis that I thought would be supportive.

[katrinaw]

Good luck and best wishes xx

I can only agree with Toni and Warlockmaker, be yourself, honest and from your inner self.

Katy xx

[Jacqueline]

JackieFox

Ditto on both be yourself and be honest. It is pretty hard. The hardest thing I have ever done.

Good luck.

With warmth,

Joanna

[Mariah]

Jackie, I hope all goes well coming out to her. I know I was concerned telling my good friends when I first came out, but it went really well. I hope you have the same success. Hugs
Mariah

[cindianna_jones]

If nothing else, you WILL find out if she's your very best friend in the world. If she is, she'll accept it. Perhaps not right away, but she'll come around.

I have told some friends and not told others. That was not my decision, however. My hubby demanded that I tell no one. But... I just got divorced and now I can't keep my mouth shut. I am not ashamed of who I am any more. I'll likely never have another relationship so why not be somewhat open about myself?

Cindi

[Tessa James]

When we are open and honest about something so personal we are allowing our underbelly or vulnerability to show.  Often times when I was coming out I found that people responded by feeling more comfortable sharing their own truths that were not commonly known.  You just might be creating a path to a more meaningful and deeper relationship. 

Take your time and allow or encourage her to ask questions if you feel OK.

[Sadephanie]

Yeeeesss!!! She was accepting of it and simply said she doesn't judge me for it. Although she didn't really ask a single question about it.. Oh well. She knows and I am happy.

[ToniB]

Well Done that is the hard bit done. Now over time just let the friendship develop You will find that once she accepts the feminine side to You she will interact with You as another female and that is a lot different to how she would talk to the male You .It is a lot different women are more open and are far more likely to talk about feelings and personal interactions and friendships are closer and more involved . Just enjoy and trust in this new relationship and let her guide You She knows the feminine world better than You so if she offers you advice please listen and heed it women are a lot more likely to help You and advise you than criticise . I get a lot of good advice and tips from my girlfriends at work .

Toni

[Mariah]

That is wonderful Jackie. Congrats. The questions may come later though as this news settles in with them. Hugs
Mariah

[Sadephanie]

To be honest I'm starting to wonder if maybe she didn't accept me but didn't have the heart to tell me.. She has been seeming different in a way that its almost like she doesn't want me around anymore.. I'm scared now..

[Tessa James]

It took some of us a lifetime to figure ourselves out about gender.  She may just need some time to process what you said and figure out where she and you fit now? 

[warlockmaker]

I'm in the process of coming out to all my friends. The ones that tended to need elbow room to absorb this news are those that have known me the longest and the ones that loved me. I like to put myself in the other persons shoes and try and understand and spend time explaining this to them. You will be suprised how little they know but pretend to know. Its reallly quite a shock for those who are closest to you. My SO whom I told almost 2 years ago and seemed to accept it at that time, is going thru another round of questioning with the approaching date for my SRS and FFS. I choose to be patient and work with her in a conciliatory manner in addressing her fears and questions and of course her image in the community. Other may its "my way or the highway", but thats not for me.

[Sadephanie]

I was scared and paranoid but I'm better now. I just hope she is okay.

[Sadephanie]

Oh my God! I don't even know anymore!! I'm scared to freaking death of losing her and I feel like she might be avoiding me as much as possible, but I'm not sure and it's literally driving me crazy to the point I am depressed 100% of the time and even looked up how to tie a noose at one point today!! I'm so freaking scared it's killing me!! 

[Tessa James]

Hey Sade, hang on.  I am guessing that part of the drama here is that she is one of the first people you told outright.  That puts a lot of emphasis on her response.  She may be bugged by all kinds of things that don't include your coming out truth.  Please give her time and recognize our news can be kind of shocking to people and they need time. 

I hope you continue to share with other people.

One of the first people I talked to about being trans was very supportive when we talked but then cut me no slack about anything else, seemed distant and then moved away.  Poof! gone!  It all had nothing to do with me but all about her life.

[Everbrooke]

Oh my God! I don't even know anymore!! I'm scared to freaking death of losing her and I feel like she might be avoiding me as much as possible, but I'm not sure and it's literally driving me crazy to the point I am depressed 100% of the time and even looked up how to tie a noose at one point today!! I'm so freaking scared it's killing me!! 

Hey!  Chill out!  You got this far, no need ending it!  She may feel awkward around you for a bit, isn't that a pretty reasonable response though?  I doubt she has any interest in dropping you if she is your best friend.  You do you for a bit and let her have some time on it.  Even if she doesn't come around, no need to jump to these conclusions.  I've lost best friends before, and it hurts, but live on and make more!  It's going to be okay no matter what, and this way you get to be you.  Just remember that, let it be your mantra.