Physically transitioning in school?

[Sterling]

Does anybody have any advice or experiences on starting hormones or getting a name change in highschool/college? I'm more worried about the atmosphere and reactions of peers than the actual staff and administration handling the new details. Coming out to friends is one thing but growing a beard, having a legal name change, and my voice dropping in the middle of the school year is another. I'd love to know if anyone else has experience with this or any input really because I will be out to everyone and that's kind of surreal.


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[Dena]

You didn't post an age so I suspect you are young. First you need to come out to your parents. Next you need to start therapy. Next, most likely you will be able to start blockers. Hormones will have to wait until you reach the age where the therapist feel you are adult enough to make the decision on hormones. Often that age is 18 years of age.
The therapist and your parents will work with school officials deciding the best way for you to transition at school and they will also ensure your risk of injury from other students is minimal. You may be able to transition long before hormones are permitted but while you are receiving blockers.

This is not as simple as taking a pill and having it all happen and many things have to happen for this to be the joyful experience it should be. Attempting to shortcut the process could cause you much pain and regret as well as delaying your transition for years.

[Sterling]

You didn't post an age so I suspect you are young. First you need to come out to your parents. Next you need to start therapy. Next, most likely you will be able to start blockers. Hormones will have to wait until you reach the age where the therapist feel you are adult enough to make the decision on hormones. Often that age is 18 years of age.
The therapist and your parents will work with school officials deciding the best way for you to transition at school and they will also ensure your risk of injury from other students is minimal. You may be able to transition long before hormones are permitted but while you are receiving blockers.

This is not as simple as taking a pill and having it all happen and many things have to happen for this to be the joyful experience it should be. Attempting to shortcut the process could cause you much pain and regret as well as delaying your transition for years.

Sorry about the lack of personal info! I am 17 and a senior this year in highschool, and I am just starting gender therapy. I am out to everyone who needs to know right now. (Family and friends) I know how long the process is and I have been out to friends and trying to get therapy since 13-14 years old. I'm more so worried about the mental aspect of everyone that doesn't know and strangers at school knowing and seeing it all happen over the course of this year.


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[Dena]

Don't over think this. I have lived as a woman for 35 years and while my voice and size may have outed me, I have never faced physical or verbal assault in those years. Did people talk behind my back, sure they did. Most people don't care and if they do, they may not be brave enough to face you. There may be a very few bullies that you should be careful about. Because bullies have their own fears, the best way to protect yourself is to move with crowds and avoid places where you might be alone. Most of the time in a school that means staying in paths that are well traveled and avoid the isolated short cuts. The only time I every faced bullies was in an isolated area where I was waiting for a class room to open. Had I been wiser in those days, I would have moved about 50 feet to a more open area and I wouldn't have needed to fight the bullies.

The other thing that will protect you is being friendly and open to others. The changes you will go through will be obvious  so forget about stealth. If somebody ask, share what you are comfortable sharing but don't feel you need to share everything. The grapevine may be one of the fastest form of communication around and people will learn that you are just another person who is a bit different.

Another thing that will help in college is making study groups. If you do well in a subject and others in you class are having problems, helping them with the subject will be greatly appreciated. This can also payoff latter should you have problems with a subject that one of your students can do well in.

[FTMax]

Everything Dena has said is good advice. A few other points:

- If you're just now starting therapy, it may take a while to get to the point where they're willing to give you a referral. I'm guessing that the school year is just starting where you are? I would be very surprised if someone was willing to make a referral prior to the school year being over - but it really depends. Either way, I would focus more on getting the most you can out of therapy while socially transitioning instead of just checking off the box and waiting for your referral.

- What are your plans for after graduation? You're poised to be in a good place when you go off to college if you start legally transitioning this year. Get your name changed, get it updated with the school you'll be going to. See if you can get it updated on your current school records. That'll make your life so much easier.

- Socially, high school becomes a complete joke after you're done. It seems really serious when you're there. Things can get dramatic when you're around the same group of people 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. If your friends know about your transition and are accepting of you, I wouldn't worry about anyone else. It's a mental shift you'll have to make, but in the grand scheme of life, the sooner you can get over caring about what random people think, the better off you will be.