I recently started my 2nd year in college, which has been really difficult. It was over the summer that I finally came to terms with the fact that I'm a woman. I'm seeing a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues to try to work through my feelings and hopefully start hormones and transitioning some day.
I went to a meeting with an LGBT group on campus and there's a trans man who I could talk to, but I feel so lonely.
it's really difficult to talk to anyone, partially because of my gender identity and partially because of PTSD*. I don't feel authentic with anyone. Most of the day I do homework or nap in my room. the group whose meeting I attended mentioned that folks who have ally stickers (these little purple things) on their doors are open to talk about that stuff... but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't bring myself to dress as who I am. I hate the way I look when I look in the mirror or see my picture on my license and student ID.
I don't really know why I came back to post this here... just needed to vent I guess. How do you talk to people and try to interact with them when you feel fake all the time? or that you're scared the jock kids are going to assault you...
ugh.
*long story, don't want to get into it.
edit: on a lighter note, McDonalds has better wifi than my dorm room. good job college (y)
