Is RLT still a thing?

[cheryl reeves]

I'm confused here,most transgender wants srs but not wanting too live in the gender roles they want too be.I agree with rle it gives one a perspective of what being in gender is actually like. If you want to be a woman be a woman ,if you want too be a man be a man,don't hide live.

[jessical]

The problem is that good surgeons will want to see the letters and the RLE, before booking.  With some of them having wait times from 1-2 years for surgery, that could mean waiting up to 3 years in some cases.  It adds up.

I would like a better understanding of what constitutes the start of RLE.  Is it the start of HRT, the legal name change or being full time?  For me those are very different dates.

[Kylo]

I think Cheryl has a point. RLE is supposed to make sure you know what living in a role of a man or woman is like, because formerly most trans people have lived in the opposite role and been treated as the opposite gender.. perhaps they do not know yet what that experience will be like at all and if they can deal with it. It's one thing to say you wished to be another gender, but another to understand how that gender is treated. I know from observations and a lot of reading and exploration that men and women are treated very differently. In some ways subtle and in other ways blatant.

But short of admitting to everyone around you that you wish to be treated like the other gender, how exactly do you create the conditions for RLE, particularly if you do not pass well before any sort of transition? You can dress like the target gender, act like the target gender, but unless everyone around you also plays along, how do you gain that authentic experience until you transition...?

I dress and act like the target gender but I do not feel it would be even remotely appropriate to tell everyone around me to start treating me like a man yet. I do not look like one yet.

[Peep]

What i don't understand is that nothing i do day to day that doesn't related to my actual physical body functions (like washing my breasts or having my period) is female specific (I'm ftm) so what am i going to change? I don't really understand what is meant by 'role'. I understand presenting as male (i.e. preferred pronouns/ name change/ fashion choices/ using the mens room). Are they just the same thing?

Because I don't want to be "treated as male" if that means having to regress by fifty years of "gender role" standards

[OCAnne]

Hello Everyone, it was very difficult if not impossible to view myself as female so long I still had a penis.
How could I be to expected live full time when I was male under the skirt!

So here is how I survived or got around the RLT 'guidelines' and underwent expedited SRS in 10 months.

• Came out as transsexual to my then wife in late July of 2014.
• Told psychiatrist (via insurance coverage) I was seeking SRS not necessarily HRT. (VERY IMPORTANT!)
• Legal name and gender change.
• All identity documents changed.
• Informed family members I was a transsexual woman.
• Sent deposit for SRS with Dr. Marci Bowers.
• Scheduled consultation with Dr. Tody Meltzer of Arizona.
• Started presenting at work as a woman.
• Documented (video) proof I was trying to play ball (live as a woman).
• Participated in community geared events (transgender).
• Inundate therapists with pictures of me in public (Twitter account).
• Became a pain in the butt to same therapists.
• Became very argumentative about the SRS guidelines (they are only guidelines, not rules).
• Started the ouch process of genital electrolysis. (Very important, demonstrated sincerity).
• Agreed to play ball with one therapist and continue to see a third right up until SRS date.
• Received my two SRS letters.
• Narrowed down SRS surgeons to Greater Los Angeles area only.
• Cash deal despite having insurance.
• Green light from Endo.
• Green light from 2nd Endo (via insurance).
• Pleaded my case to SRS surgeon of choice.Told him I plan to use 'it' (neo-vagina) for intercourse.
• Greenlighted for SRS by my general practitioner (GP).
• Underwent SRS in mid May of 2015.

Living happily as female and enjoying the real 'Real Life Experience'.
Yes, its awesome, I highly recommend it!
Thank you,
Anne

[AnonyMs]

I'm confused here,most transgender wants srs but not wanting too live in the gender roles they want too be.I agree with rle it gives one a perspective of what being in gender is actually like. If you want to be a woman be a woman ,if you want too be a man be a man,don't hide live.

I find life a bit more complicated than that. I need to remain married and provide for my family. I don't think I can fully transition and continue to do that, and I also probably can't keep my sanity without doing something. When it gets right down to it if getting SRS without ever presenting female keeps everything together then that's what I'll do. I guess you can say I've done my RLT for decades.

[cheryl reeves]

I know about rle,I live everyday like I have for 50 years trapped between genders,I just learned too be the best me as I can get. I'm a weird one I chose along time ago too face life head on and anyone who got in my way learned to go along for the ride or get off the bus. I chose not too transition for my own reasons. What gets me though is bulking about living the gender role before surgery,they make prosthesis nowadays too help give the idea of what life is going too be like before surgery,so to make sure your not making a rash decision and regret it later,I've read the stories and the obituaries and my heart breaks.

[chance]

Yeah the how it's documented part really annoys me. I've been living "as the gender role that is congruent with my gender identity" for more than three years now but I haven't made any official documentation of it. I'm calling my psych monday to schedule an appointment for my first letter so I guess I'll find out then.

If you don't mind, please post what happens.  I'm very interested in whether I'll have to live 100% as male to get top surgery.  Not that I mind living as a male its just who's to say what level of "living as a male" matches anyone's dysphoria?  What about those who are non binary?

[Northern Jane]

I agree with the reason for RLT/RLE particularly for those who have lived for many years in their birth gender. Being treated as the opposite gender, if you have grown up with 'male privilege' or, in the case of FtM, realizing what is expected of you can come as quite a shock. It is a time to find out what everyday life will be like while you  can still switch back.

[Lady_Oracle]

If you don't mind, please post what happens.  I'm very interested in whether I'll have to live 100% as male to get top surgery.  Not that I mind living as a male its just who's to say what level of "living as a male" matches anyone's dysphoria?  What about those who are non binary?

TIME FOR UPDATE  I come with good news. I think as long as you're out to the people closest to you and or you present consistently as the gender you're transitioning to plus also being on hrt, you've done all of that for more than year then you pass the rle i think for surgery. As far as being non binary, I have no idea honestly. I don't think none of the well known surgeons will operate on anyone who hasn't at least been a year on hrt.

I had my session and like it went exactly the way I thought it would. She signed off after the first session, was happy to write my letter. I hadn't seen her since I started hrt. I explained to her in full detail how much my bottom dysphoria has been affecting my life from my relationships to how I feel about my own body and just the havoc it's been causing on my self esteem/body image. I stated that I've had the legal stuff done, name change/gender marker. I've been doing my research on surgery for a long time now and so like I know exactly what the consequences are if things go wrong and what to expect, which I explained to her. I went into detail about how my want for surgery became a need the further I went into my transition. I talked about the odd disconnect I've always felt with myself down there. She did help me realize its not so much that I feel wrong down there, its that I feel like something is missing.

As to why she signed off so quickly, I think it's due to a few reasons:
1. I have a very strong support system. My parents and family fully support me and have been funding my transition.
2. I'm absolutely secure in my gender, like detransitioning hasn't ever been something I've considered since starting 5 years ago. I don't have doubts about whether or not surgery is the right choice. However I did explain to her that I had doubts at one point and how I overcame those doubts.
3. I've been full time for more than 2 years.

[chance]

TIME FOR UPDATE  I come with good news. I think as long as you're out to the people closest to you and or you present consistently as the gender you're transitioning to plus also being on hrt, you've done all of that for more than year then you pass the rle i think for surgery. As far as being non binary, I have no idea honestly. I don't think none of the well known surgeons will operate on anyone who hasn't at least been a year on hrt.

I had my session and like it went exactly the way I thought it would. She signed off after the first session, was happy to write my letter. I hadn't seen her since I started hrt. I explained to her in full detail how much my bottom dysphoria has been affecting my life from my relationships to how I feel about my own body...

Thanks for the update Lady Oracle. I appreciate it. I'm trying to consider what it might be like when I Fodor my letter.


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[Obfuskatie]

I agree with the reason for RLT/RLE particularly for those who have lived for many years in their birth gender. Being treated as the opposite gender, if you have grown up with 'male privilege' or, in the case of FtM, realizing what is expected of you can come as quite a shock. It is a time to find out what everyday life will be like while you  can still switch back.

Switching back isn't something I was capable of. I was barely able to manage presenting as a guy. I guess I didn't really think about the rest of the WPATH stuff, because I've always been focused on the next few months to a year ahead. I guess I thought people were talking about RLE before any HRT.
There's still a part of me that is very indignant that I have to justify and prove myself for the joy of being trans. But if I let myself get distracted by the relatively small hoops I have to go through, I won't be enjoying the very freeing aspects of transition.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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[Peep]

I guess I thought people were talking about RLE before any HRT.

From what I've read the NHS requires RLE before HRT? I could be wrong

[kelly_aus]

From what I've read the NHS requires RLE before HRT? I could be wrong

Yep, you are wrong. Current NHS
guidelines do not require RLE before hormones.

[Peep]

Yep, you are wrong. Current NHS
guidelines do not require RLE before hormones.

Do you have a source i could read?

[kelly_aus]

Do you have a source i could read?

It was the NHS site.. I'll find it again when I'm on my PC.

[iKate]

2. I'm absolutely secure in my gender, like detransitioning hasn't ever been something I've considered since starting 5 years ago. I don't have doubts about whether or not surgery is the right choice. However I did explain to her that I had doubts at one point and how I overcame those doubts.
3. I've been full time for more than 2 years.

At 5 years RLE you really don't need therapist sign off.

[Cheska]

Yep, you are wrong. Current NHS
guidelines do not require RLE before hormones.

It may not be a requirement anymore but they're still not so willing to prescribe hormones before RLE.

[Lady_Oracle]

At 5 years RLE you really don't need therapist sign off.

Yeah but it wasn't officially documented. I didn't see a psychiatrist till I started hrt, which was two years in.

[cheryl reeves]

Like I said before what is wrong with rle? I personally think the transitioner should know what they are getting into before there is no way back. I know prosthetics are expensive but they help you get a feel of what its going too be like all the time.