Took the biggest step today, I told my wife.

[Brooke33]

My wife has been fully aware there was something troubling me for many years, but never knew what, and I finally told her today.  She's 100% supportive, I was over the moon.  She told me she loved me no matter what, and was only sorry I kept it in for so long without telling her.  There are obvious concerns regarding intimacy afterwards, as she's not physically attracted to women, but we're both going to attend therapy together as well.

You guys have no idea how happy I am right now after all that fear and anxiety

[Dena]

Congratulations on the start of a long trip. Your wife may reach the point where she see the person she still loves and can look past the differences in physical appearance. The fact she is attending therapy with you give me hope.

[gamerchic_kaylee]

So happy for you and your wife!  Just have to take it day by day.  I'm in the same boat, and things are moving along.  Like you, my wife isn't attracted to women, but she's keeping an open mind and we just don't know what the end result will be.

Good luck!  I'm interested to hear updates when you have them.

[LizK]

Fantastic I love to hear it when another couple wants to stay together. It is going to be a tough road for you both but with love, compassion, Patience and friendship you should win through...My wife has recommitted to me several times at each step on the way towards transition and has vowed not to let me out that "easy"...she said she would have had more difficulty if I had said I was gay...go figure...I am not sure what that is about but I read of some else's wife saying the same on one of the posts in another thread I think.

Congrats on taking a huge step and give you wife an extra big hug for being so supportive

Sarah T

[ToniB]

a small lesson I just learned from My Wife . Always tell her about things that happen in Your life even if You think they may upset her .I learned that last night .I had my femininity and acceptance at work affirmed when My Manager introduced Me to a new Contractor saying this is Toni SHE will do your induction today .Naturally I was thrilled to bits but did not want to shove it in her face as she is still struggling to come to terms with My transition .But later her Daughter who supports me a lot came round and I told her about it . The wife heard my telling her and got upset saying I am shutting her out and keeping things from her .That was the last thing in the world I meant to do .I would have loved to tell her these things but felt it may upset her .So she said I would rather hear it from You even if I do not like it then have somebody else tell me something I don't know about You .So I am still reeling feel that I cannot win no matter what I do .But have learned that I must never try to protect her as it will always backfire on Me

[Debra]

Huge first step! Good for you! Hope you both can continue to work through it together.

[Jenn_nb]

Congrats Brooke. Congrats on taking the huge step of talking to your wife and congrats on getting such a positive response. I know its scary and I'm sure there'll be times when things get tense, but communication and patience are key to moving forward with transition and maintaining a healthy marriage. My wife and I have been married for 16 years and we are happier now (6 years post-transition) than we've ever been!!

Good luck with everything!

[JoanneB]

Congrats 

It is great to hear that the world really did not open up and swallow you. Or, a bolt of lightning landing squarely on the cranium.

An important lesson I learned from my experience is to have those often difficult open and honest conversations. Then to balance out the raw emotional blurts and TMI factors which WILL come into play. The real work is coming between the news really sinking in and how fast along your path you travel.

Keep in mind you spent a good part of a lifetime just barely getting a handle on what being trans means to you. In comparison, your wife has had mere seconds. It will take time for her to come up to speed. Many of her questions or concerns you may not have a clear answer to, or simply don't know or never thought about it. All valid. Partly why I call my wife my "Reality Therapist" 

[Brooke33]

She's actually been amazing in terms of support.  She says it'll be nice because we can go to the salon and spa together now lol.  Also, she is fully aware this will be taxing, but we both love each other so much she thinks we'll be fine as she loves me as the person, not the man.  She even suggested that in a few years we should have a vow renewal ceremony with "both of us in pretty dresses".  She's just amazing.

[TG CLare]

Congratulations, Brooke!!! I am SO happy for you.

Your wife is so understanding and where there is understanding there is hope as well as compassion.

It will be difficult, but take things easy, keep her in the loop as to what is happening in your life and together you'll make the road a lot less bumpy and fearful.

A Chinese proverb says that the journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. Same thing here my friend.

Best wishes to both of you.

Love,
Clare