Thank you Autumn! your post really made my day

funny how a few words can really make you feel wonderful!
thanks for your suggestion, I agree totally, I'm only just starting to find my voice, and it still needs a lot of work. I've been working every morning for about an hour on my talking voice, trying to get it more feminine sounding with little success, and singing as loud and long as I can for most of the day. The singing is helping, and I think I may be getting a bit better at my talking voice, luckily I'm not after anything too high, I find Lauren Bacall's voice the bee's knees of female speaking voices, and I rather like Nico's singing voice, so I don't have too far to go

I've been trying some of the tricks, more breath, head-voice (you are 110% correct, I am off key in many places in the song above, especially at the end of some of the phrases) I seem to have to belt it out in order to get the voice I'm after, but I lose control when sustaining notes. all in all, I was just super happy to finally not sound like a man. I'm not where I'd like to be yet, but I am working on it

Since posting this video I hooked up with an art space and played my first solo show. it was nerve wracking, but it felt great to finally get back out there, this time as the real me

it wasn't my best performance ever, but it was a great first show, and they asked me back, so I'll be doing it again this Friday!

Yes, that song, totally nihilistic, a profound sadness (or desperation?) in our poor girl. I'm drawn to stuff like that, much of my original material dwells on it (perhaps too much

) but I was always drawn to that 19th century ideal of beauty in darkness and decay (yes, I'm a Baudelaire fan

), there is something real about it.
thanks again for your comments, totally made my day!

I was having a couple of days of feeling like a monster, this morning as I was putting on my face I thought "hey, I'm not so bad!" and then I read your post and almost cried (good tears) thank you!
xox, Candi