Dating

[Hope1972]

My question is simple but my situation is not.
I have been married for 20 years to a supportive and wonderful wife.
We have had very lengthy conversations and we are staying together through and after my transition.

As well as being a woman at my core, I am attracted to men, my wife also knows about this.
I would like to find a man who I can get to know and see where it goes.

The question is this, how does a person such as myself go about finding someone?
I'm not into the bar scene, and am not aware of any websites which seem to be useful.

[Qrachel]

Hi:

I'm no expert to say the least.  Start getting out into life and be willing to be approachable and open up.

However, if you are to be successful you are might want to consider how this matter is framed in your current relationship.

Take care and stay in touch,

Rachel

[TG CLare]

(Qrachel responded while I was typing this. (lol)

Hope, I'm not an expert by any means on the dating thing but I would venture a guess that we can find partners the same way as everyone else. Of course, being trans makes it that much harder to find someone and possibly it can be dangerous.

One can use a dating site. I know of someone who met their partner that way so it's possible.

I mention the danger aspect because depending on how much you can pass can be dangerous. A lot of hetro men can have a strong reaction if they thought you were a woman and find out you were a man. It has a lot to do with what their friends might say if they find out you're trans and of course male "macho ness"  comes into play. Some men are attracted to trans women out of curiosity or just a natural physical attraction to the woman.

Then the other thing comes up. When do you tell someone you're trans? First date, second date? I know of someone who says that she lets them know before she even kisses them.

I wish you luck in your search but remember, your personal safety is paramount.

Love,
Clare

[Hope1972]

Thank you for the replies.

As far as my current relationship goes, we do intend to be life long partners and friends. But we both know that our relationship will continue to evolve. As it is now, we are best friends and that is something I don't see changing.

The actual dating, i m still anxious about.

[VickyMI]

Go to a restaurant and eat at the bar.

It works.

[Laura_7]

Go to a restaurant and eat at the bar.

It works.

[Ashey]

Then the other thing comes up. When do you tell someone you're trans? First date, second date? I know of someone who says that she lets them know before she even kisses them.

Why wouldn't you be up front about it? Like, is waiting just trying to get them to like you as a person so when you break the news they'll maybe think differently? I think that's rather stupid. If they aren't okay with you being trans, then telling them later rather than sooner just wastes their time and yours.

[Hope1972]

I agree with that entirely. I want someone to like me for who I am, and who I was will always be a part of that.

[OCAnne]

Eating at the bar does work.  Was able to get a guy to my room.  All was well until he figured out I was a transsexual woman

The dating app Grindr works great for finding guys that like #GirlsLikeUs.  Guys using that app just get us.  Gay and Bi men seem to like the way I look.  Cuz I look like a boy?
Thank you,
Anne

[Laura_7]

Eating at the bar does work. 

Its like attracting the twice. With food and with yourself 

The dating app Grindr works great for finding guys that like #GirlsLikeUs.  Guys using that app just get us.  Gay and Bi men seem to like the way I look.  Cuz I look like a boy?
Thank you,
Anne

Well OKCupid and PlentyOfFish might also have a higher quota of accepting people...


hugs