Yeah, they're full of it, you need to see different people. The idea that your testosterone is too high, and therefore estrogen won't do anything is nonsense on its face, but normally they would start you off on testosterone blockers, to reduce your t levels so that less estrogen would have more effect. Without the blockers you would still be able to achieve the same effects with higher dosages of estrogen, but that comes with its own risk. What they told you was that it wouldn't work at all, which is nonsense.
Herbal estrogens arguably are not effective, and in high dosages are dangerous, can lead to strokes and bloodclots, but that isn't how they work... it isn't that they make a woman's body release more estrogen, and thus have no effects on mtfs... they contain a kind of pseudo-estrogen, which is molecularly similar to estrogen, and binds to the same receptors. Though, there isn't strong evidence that they have much of any feminizing effects, and even though they may in extremely high dosages, they become really dangerous at those dosages. So, I wouldn't recommend them either, but the stuff the doctor is telling you sounds made up...
I imagine that you had quite a wait to see the doctor, so it had to be annoying to seek a different one, but seems necessary in your case. I would attempt to find a doctor through LGBT resources, and recommendations.
Hope that things work out for you!