She upped my dosage

[angiegurl]

For 9 mos I have been on the same schedule and dosage of E and my AA. I went in 3 weeks ago and my E was low which was some what surprising because my blood tests have been quite consistent, acutally I thought my E was high. Anyway, my AA stays the same and my E was raised by about 15% and the frequency of injections changed from 7 days to 5. Over the past 3 weeks my breasts have grown 3/4 of an inch and they are quite sensitive and my emotions are all over the map. The sensitivity is to a point where I need to wear a bra almost 100% of the time. Luckily I work from home and when I go out my jacket will cover up the ladies. I have opened up my jacket a few times while shopping and I have caught folks checking stuff out if you know what I mean. Even with a loose top on they are noticeable. This is good and bad. Good in the sense that the meds are working the bad is I need to take a look at my timetable for transition. I still present as male in the public's eye most of the time. I do need to admit that I seem to care less and less as to what I look like - eg I leave in the studs in my ears, I have two in each ear and I don't worry about my hands with nail polish. I am caring less and less of what others think and say because "It's all about me!"

My apologies about going off topic but I have not seen a therapist in 9 mos and I really don't have anyone to express myself to. The last therapist was a troll. I guess it is time to find another. I have a lot of stuff building up that I need to get off my chest - pardon the pun.

Thank you all for being here.

[KayXo]

Why change anything if you are seeing positive changes? This goes to show that regardless of numbers, low or high, or fluctuations, changes CAN occur and these are more important. Problem is some doctors rely too much on numbers on a paper when clearly, in this case, no change is needed. Just my opinion, I disagree...but I'm not a doctor.

[Dena]

One of my blood test had a really bad non hormonal number one time. The doctor looked over all the results and said I think the test results are wrong because you haven't had a history of this in the past. He decided to do nothing until the next blood test and my test results were back to normal in the new test.

Labs do make mistakes and it's possible that's what happened. I would talk it over my doctor and make sure you both agree with your treatment plan.

[angiegurl]

I go back in 3 weeks - more tests to see how I am adjusting. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining. I have not seen this much of a positive change and I am happy with the results thus far. I guess the part that I am struggling with is my attitude change - "If you don't like what you see then stop looking damn it!" A big part of it is me because in my mind I still look like a dude in a dress but now with breasts....

I re-read this response and I see a problem. On one hand I am happy with the new results (more breast growth and I actually feel pretty darn good physically) but I am concerned about looking like a "dude in a dress". Is it normal to waffle back and forth like this? Arg....

[Dena]

It takes a long time before you see a woman in a dress. I seemed to pass reasonably well for a couple of years before I could see the woman in the dress. On this point, you need to trust other peoples judgement before you trust your own.

[KayXo]

Is it normal to waffle back and forth like this? Arg....

It is. Our mind holds on to what we looked like (much like the people who knew us) and no longer fits reality while outsiders see us undoubtedly as a woman. Psychology...it takes some time. We also see ourserves daily so harder to see and appreciate the changes...compare photos from beginning to 3, 6, 12 months later...then you will be quite shocked. If not and if people continue seeing you as a "dude", then either a change in HRT is due or FFS is needed.

I agree with Dena.

[melissa_h]

One of my blood test had a really bad non hormonal number one time. The doctor looked over all the results and said I think the test results are wrong because you haven't had a history of this in the past. He decided to do nothing until the next blood test and my test results were back to normal in the new test.

Yep, I totally missed the memo on not eating the day of the test. When the results came back she said my blood sugar was abnormally high ... then asked if I ate, and said, oh, then that gets explained.

[angiegurl]

KayXo - FFS is in the cards. I did not plan on seriously thinking about it this early in process.

Dena - Trusting in others is the hard part. But sage advice non the less.