Well, I had slowly (in my mind) been modifying my wardrobe over about 6 months. Shoes, some makeup, girl pants, female polo shirts, nail polish, etc... I would go a little further every few weeks, then back, try something different, back and forth, experimenting. I notified HR not long after I first started these baby steps in changing my wardrobe that I would be transitioning, and I told 2-3 coworkers who I felt I could trust.
So, there was plenty of evidence that my gender expression was changing up front. Generally speaking though everything was fine. I didn't notice any stares or rudeness, but there were a couple people who avoided me if they could. There's like 65 people in my office, plus a bunch of field crew workers that are randomly around.
I wore a lightly lined bra a few times, but generally I wore nothing. Mainly it was with the tighter shirts so my nips didn't show through. This gave me obvious mini-breasts from the right viewing angles. In the beginning steps, some people commented, asking what was up, and I basically said that I was just exploring my gender expression, but that it was really none of their business. The guys in my department agreed, so long as it didn't affect my job performance.
By November I was itching to bump up my timeline, so I contacted HR and set a date. Dec. 28th. That week between Christmas and New Year's when most people take vacation time anyways, so the office would be like half empty. You see, I had been full-time outside of work by the end of November. I would go to work in my pseudo boy mode, change in the car to go to lunch or appointments, then change back to go back to work. The only real difference though was my choice in tops and pushup bras vs. not. It was like the week before December 16th when I slipped up. Dec. 16th was when HR made the announcement, they sent out an email. But the week before, I went to an appointment one morning and forgot to bring a change of "boy clothes" with me. So it was either take off the bra and show my nips to everyone in the tight sweater I had on, or keep the padded pushup bra on, which is what I chose to do. So, I was full-time like 3 weeks ahead of schedule for all intents and purposes. The only thing left was the official announcement so people would start using the right pronouns and name and so I could finally use the proper restroom.
HR held three meetings without me. One with department managers, one with my department, and one with the women in my office. I was not invited to any of them and I have no real idea what was said. But nobody confronted me or made me feel uncomfortable. People still slip up with names and pronouns, but I've been there there years, it's understandable, and they're working on it, mostly...
I am terribly sorry if you have to make the announcement yourself. Looking back, I feel fortunate to be removed from that.
Everyday that I added something new was filled with anxiety for the first few hours, but I almost never had anybody comment about it, and then the anxiety would fade. Each day gets easier and easier the more you do it.
People may be curious about your face, but you probably won't even notice them. Just keep focused on your work and don't give them anything to hold against you in your job performance and you'll be untouchable, remember that and you'll be just fine. Chin up. The future only gets better.
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
