My social anxiety is driving me nuts! I am going to this transgender group hosted by my therapist tomorrow and I am terrified. I hope there is not a lot of people there, but I was dumb and did not ask her how many there would be. I am a very shy person in real life, so this will be very difficult but I am tired of the loneliness I guess. It would be nice to have a friend, because I do not have any right now.
I keep thinking about what should I do, what should I say? What if they don't like me?? I don't know what to do. I mean, what do I say, what do I say it is repeating in my brain and i'm going insane! I seriously need a legit chill pill right now lol.
Like most social situations I will probably sit there like a mouse while staring at my lap or something. People find my shyness adorable but I am suffering inside. Honestly, I think it would be easier on my anxiety if I could befriend someone online, but what are the chances of that happening??? I just want a close friendship with a single or with very few people. Most people find me boring because I don't like parties, drinking or stuff like that. I am more into hiking and nature stuff. I am just not into all the noise you know?
I am just ranting at this point because I am a total mess right now. I need to get it together and face my stupid fears already! Easier said then done though! My gosh I hope tomorrow is not a mess, and in fact I wish it would not come at all. Someone just put me out of my misery already ugh.
Anyways, that is why I am unhappy today.