What made you unhappy today? 7.0

[Allison S]

You are right, and I am not sure why I said those things, as I like sharing my thoughts and stuff. Maybe I guess it is because of all the problems I talk about, and I was afraid people saw me as desperate for attention, but like you said Susan's place is a community for people who well, need A community I suppose lol.

Thanks for replying!

That's how I feel too sometimes but I think it does help to talk about stuff. Even if it's on a forum with strangers at first. But you're talking to your therapist and mom too. That's good!! I'm doing the same. Even if just to be able to get help thinking things through. I'm in my head alot it becomes too lonely. Hearing or seeing things probably heightens everything for you. If there's a time you need help it's right now. We all do need help from others time to time.



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[TicTac]

That's how I feel too sometimes but I think it does help to talk about stuff. Even if it's on a forum with strangers at first. But you're talking to your therapist and mom too. That's good!! I'm doing the same. Even if just to be able to get help thinking things through. I'm in my head alot it becomes too lonely. Hearing or seeing things probably heightens everything for you. If there's a time you need help it's right now. We all do need help from others time to time.



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Yeah, I am glad I discovered Susan's place, because I probably would have gone mad from loneliness if I hadn't. There was another forum I was/am on before this one, and I would say the name but I think that is not allowed on Susan's place. Anyways, the population is to large, which means it is hard to communicate with people when your comment is always buried due to the overflow of people who also comment.

It definitely is nice to be able to share your thoughts and get actual reply's from them!

[Sarah_P]

Got turned down for yet another job today. Yet another job doing the exact same thing I've been doing for 13 years (actually, it involved less things than I'm doing now!). I just don't understand it. It feels like if I was already moved to the Kansas City area, I could find something quickly and easily, but I can't move until I have a job. I'm getting desperate to move. As much as I'm happy that I've been accepted as well as I have down here, my friends, future, and most of all the woman I love are 100 miles away.

[Allison S]

Yeah, I am glad I discovered Susan's place, because I probably would have gone mad from loneliness if I hadn't. There was another forum I was/am on before this one, and I would say the name but I think that is not allowed on Susan's place. Anyways, the population is to large, which means it is hard to communicate with people when your comment is always buried due to the overflow of people who also comment.

It definitely is nice to be able to share your thoughts and get actual reply's from them!

Yeah it is nice [emoji4] you can message me anytime!! I try to get back to everyone

Got turned down for yet another job today. Yet another job doing the exact same thing I've been doing for 13 years (actually, it involved less things than I'm doing now!). I just don't understand it. It feels like if I was already moved to the Kansas City area, I could find something quickly and easily, but I can't move until I have a job. I'm getting desperate to move. As much as I'm happy that I've been accepted as well as I have down here, my friends, future, and most of all the woman I love are 100 miles away.

I'm sorry to hear Sarah. Hope you find an even better job very soon, good luck!

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[TicTac]

1. Facial hair...I hate it ugh. Not only do I hate it but getting rid of it is painful. I was hoping laser hair removal would be less painful then the other option...but no. I literally started crying during my last session with laser because the pain was kinda unbearable. It was a pretty embarrassing moment lol. It gets rid of it for a few weeks but then it comes back, and so does the shadow...yuck. I wish the nightmare would end already.

2. Boredom is killing me. I am more active on Susan's then usual because there has been a bit of stagnation in my life. The thing I was doing had to be put on hold, and my online college class is unscheduled, meaning that I do not have to do anything for like a week if wanted. I guess I can do that instead but I don't know.

[Allison S]

1. Facial hair...I hate it ugh. Not only do I hate it but getting rid of it is painful. I was hoping laser hair removal would be less painful then the other option...but no. I literally started crying during my last session with laser because the pain was kinda unbearable. It was a pretty embarrassing moment lol. It gets rid of it for a few weeks but then it comes back, and so does the shadow...yuck. I wish the nightmare would end already.

2. Boredom is killing me. I am more active on Susan's then usual because there has been a bit of stagnation in my life. The thing I was doing had to be put on hold, and my online college class is unscheduled, meaning that I do not have to do anything for like a week if wanted. I guess I can do that instead but I don't know.

Same thing for me with laser. It really sucks I don't know what to do anymore

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[Northern Star Girl]

Got turned down for yet another job today. Yet another job doing the exact same thing I've been doing for 13 years (actually, it involved less things than I'm doing now!). I just don't understand it. It feels like if I was already moved to the Kansas City area, I could find something quickly and easily, but I can't move until I have a job. I'm getting desperate to move. As much as I'm happy that I've been accepted as well as I have down here, my friends, future, and most of all the woman I love are 100 miles away.

@Sarah_P .... hang in there girl... I can certainly feel your frustration as I am certain that many others on the Forums have been in the same situation.  Keep being persistent and keep a positive attitude... it will be evident to those that you discuss job opportunities with.
Please keep us posted... we are pulling for you.
Wishing you the best, as always.
Hugs and more hugs.
Danielle

[TicTac]

Same thing for me with laser. It really sucks I don't know what to do anymore

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I am sorry you are suffering as well. She asked me if it was getting easier to deal with...it is not. Strangely enough I had a better time dealing with it when I first started but now it is just unbearable.

[Ryuichi13]

My kid got mad at me because I ended up not being able to throw money towards their bill problems.  I guess, despite being on disability and barely having money for my own bills, I'm supposed to be a bank, able to hand out money whenever they need to pay bills.  They're married and work, yet I'm supposed to support them when they get in over their heads.  FML

Ryuichi

[TicTac]

My social anxiety is driving me nuts! I am going to this transgender group hosted by my therapist tomorrow and I am terrified. I hope there is not a lot of people there, but I was dumb and did not ask her how many there would be. I am a very shy person in real life, so this will be very difficult but I am tired of the loneliness I guess. It would be nice to have a friend, because I do not have any right now.

I keep thinking about what should I do, what should I say? What if they don't like me?? I don't know what to do. I mean, what do I say, what do I say it is repeating in my brain and i'm going insane! I seriously need a legit chill pill right now lol.

Like most social situations I will probably sit there like a mouse while staring at my lap or something. People find my shyness adorable but I am suffering inside. Honestly, I think it would be easier on my anxiety if I could befriend someone online, but what are the chances of that happening??? I just want a close friendship with a single or with very few people. Most people find me boring because I don't like parties, drinking or stuff like that. I am more into hiking and nature stuff. I am just not into all the noise you know?

I am just ranting at this point because I am a total mess right now. I need to get it together and face my stupid fears already! Easier said then done though! My gosh I hope tomorrow is not a mess, and in fact I wish it would not come at all. Someone just put me out of my misery already ugh.

Anyways, that is why I am unhappy today.

[natalie.ashlyne]

My social anxiety is driving me nuts! I am going to this transgender group hosted by my therapist tomorrow and I am terrified. I hope there is not a lot of people there, but I was dumb and did not ask her how many there would be. I am a very shy person in real life, so this will be very difficult but I am tired of the loneliness I guess. It would be nice to have a friend, because I do not have any right now.

I keep thinking about what should I do, what should I say? What if they don't like me?? I don't know what to do. I mean, what do I say, what do I say it is repeating in my brain and i'm going insane! I seriously need a legit chill pill right now lol.

Like most social situations I will probably sit there like a mouse while staring at my lap or something. People find my shyness adorable but I am suffering inside. Honestly, I think it would be easier on my anxiety if I could befriend someone online, but what are the chances of that happening??? I just want a close friendship with a single or with very few people. Most people find me boring because I don't like parties, drinking or stuff like that. I am more into hiking and nature stuff. I am just not into all the noise you know?

I am just ranting at this point because I am a total mess right now. I need to get it together and face my stupid fears already! Easier said then done though! My gosh I hope tomorrow is not a mess, and in fact I wish it would not come at all. Someone just put me out of my misery already ugh.

Anyways, that is why I am unhappy today.

Hi @TicTac it is normal to feel uncomfortable I used to be myself . I did not like a lot of people around or to speak to a lot of people at once. Once I became President of the union where I work I had to find something that would let me speak or be in front of hundreds even a few thousand people. So this is what I did I took an elastic band and put it on my wrist and when I started to feel uncomfortable and thought bad things as I was speaking I would snap the band on my wrist and it does sting a little but it has aloud me to speak in front of 10,000 people some time I use 2 elastics on each wrist   

[TicTac]

Hi @TicTac it is normal to feel uncomfortable I used to be myself . I did not like a lot of people around or to speak to a lot of people at once. Once I became President of the union where I work I had to find something that would let me speak or be in front of hundreds even a few thousand people. So this is what I did I took an elastic band and put it on my wrist and when I started to feel uncomfortable and thought bad things as I was speaking I would snap the band on my wrist and it does sting a little but it has aloud me to speak in front of 10,000 people some time I use 2 elastics on each wrist   

That is a really interesting idea. I will definitely give it a try. Thank you!

[Dena]

TicTac, most of the people in the therapy group felt much like you did at their first meeting. They will understand you being reserved and after two or three meetings, I am pretty sure you will find yourself mixing with the others. For us, there is no other feeling like walking into a room with others who feel just like us. Most likely the closest you have come to this feeling is making the first post on Susan's and reading the responses. Look at you now. Your a regular contributor.

[ButterflyTsunami]

Everything.

[TicTac]

TicTac, most of the people in the therapy group felt much like you did at their first meeting. They will understand you being reserved and after two or three meetings, I am pretty sure you will find yourself mixing with the others. For us, there is no other feeling like walking into a room with others who feel just like us. Most likely the closest you have come to this feeling is making the first post on Susan's and reading the responses. Look at you now. Your a regular contributor.

Yeah, I used to be terrified of talking with others online, but it has gotten easier but not better. I come to Susan's because I am...lonely. There is a lot of nice people I have met here, and talking to them makes me feel happy, which is rare because I am usually deeply depressed.

I went to the therapy group this morning and there was probably about 9 people there. Of course, I did not speak at all and I pretty much stared at the table while listening to others speak. Right before i opened the exit door, someone stopped me and greeted me. I did not think anyone cared about my existence, so that was surprising. Another person also took the chance to say hi as well which was nice.  They wanted me to show up at another group, but I awkwardly declined. I do not understand why they have even the slightest interest in me. Just because they are trans does not mean they have to like me and why would they?

Anyways, the experience was nice and I am glad I went. Who knows, maybe my dreams of having a friend will come true someday.

[TicTac]

Everything.

Hello,

Life really does suck doesn't it? I myself  am deeply depressed and generally a broken person (yes that sounds emo lol) but coming here will make you happy, even if it is only for a brief moment. I am sorry you are not doing well in life (neither am I) but I hope things improve for you. Also, it is nice to meet you ButterflyTsunami! That is also a great name you got there! Who wouldn't love a tsunami of butterfly's right?

So yeah, it is nice to meet you.

[Allison S]

I myself  am deeply depressed and generally a broken person (yes that sounds emo lol) but coming here will make you happy, even if it is only for a brief moment.

Hmm "emo". I always related to that. I wear wigs but I really want long hair and I'd keep it dark brown the way it is. I know that's not "emo" technically but my hair might help me hide... I just don't want to face the world anymore. It's no one's fault (maybe mine). Anyhow, I do relate. I did just quit my job suddenly today, my only source of income and how I survive. But that may be for the "what made you happy today" thread. I just don't care anymore.

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[Dena]

Yeah, I used to be terrified of talking with others online, but it has gotten easier but not better. I come to Susan's because I am...lonely. There is a lot of nice people I have met here, and talking to them makes me feel happy, which is rare because I am usually deeply depressed.

I went to the therapy group this morning and there was probably about 9 people there. Of course, I did not speak at all and I pretty much stared at the table while listening to others speak. Right before i opened the exit door, someone stopped me and greeted me. I did not think anyone cared about my existence, so that was surprising. Another person also took the chance to say hi as well which was nice.  They wanted me to show up at another group, but I awkwardly declined. I do not understand why they have even the slightest interest in me. Just because they are trans does not mean they have to like me and why would they?

Anyways, the experience was nice and I am glad I went. Who knows, maybe my dreams of having a friend will come true someday.

One meeting isn't enough to get to know the others and you should attend at least 3. The others are doing their best to welcome and help you. Much like the board, it's paying forward where you get help when you first join and after your comfortable, you do the same for the next person to join. You may not like everybody in the group, but you can still share and enjoy each others company.

[TicTac]

Hmm "emo". I always related to that. I wear wigs but I really want long hair and I'd keep it dark brown the way it is. I know that's not "emo" technically but my hair might help me hide... I just don't want to face the world anymore. It's no one's fault (maybe mine). Anyhow, I do relate. I did just quit my job suddenly today, my only source of income and how I survive. But that may be for the "what made you happy today" thread. I just don't care anymore.

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You seem like such a nice person Allison  I am sad that you are not doing well yourself. You totally deserve to be happy.

I just spent pretty much the entire day locked in my room and did nothing but zone out/space out. Basically, I was living in my mind and did not even move an inch, which I am regretting because my back hurts. Sometimes your world is better then the real one. Anyways, it was basically depression but I feel better now. So yeah, sometimes we need to fall in order to get back up and continue. Not sure if this is helping at all but maybe lol?

I am going to continue and try to make positive changes because feeling sorry for myself has done nothing but waste time. Of course I will probably fall in and out of depression but what is important is that you keep trying. So yeah, that is my plan I guess, and I hope this helps someway somehow.

I hope you will find happiness someday Allison!

[TicTac]

One meeting isn't enough to get to know the others and you should attend at least 3. The others are doing their best to welcome and help you. Much like the board, it's paying forward where you get help when you first join and after your comfortable, you do the same for the next person to join. You may not like everybody in the group, but you can still share and enjoy each others company.

I think everyone in the group was nice, but they were all pretty quite because the therapist asked questions know one had answers to. Anyways, I am planning on going back because I like the people and the fact that some of them want me to return helps. My head always tells me that nobody cares about you or what you have to say, so it is great to see those negative thoughts get debunked lol. Also, I can't believe I actually met other people in real life who are transgender! It is so crazy! Never thought that would happen.

I am trying to be friendly to new people who are here, but maybe I can try saying hi to new people on the site. There really is not much for me to talk about when it come to my transition, and I am not sure how to answer questions about it, which is why I am only active in the General/Entertainment area. Although I can try to contribute!