Hello!

[pianoflute2]

Hi everyone!
I'm Annie! I'm 20 years old and I live in Utah with my fiance, Izzy. I'm currently questioning my gender identity, and Izzy came out as a trans woman on Valentines day. Here's our story!
I'll start with a little background on both of us, I grew up in an abusive home. I was sexually, emotionally, and mentally abused by my father. My testimony in court put him in prison for 20-life this last June. I have a lot of mental health issues stemming from this. I often wonder if the abuse might be why I'm questioning my gender identity, and if that's where my sexuality stems from. Izzy also grew up in an abusive home, physical and emotional, neglectful, but that's her story to tell.
We met just over two years ago over the internet though a mutual friend, a few months later I took a bus to Florida to be with her. We lived in Florida together for about a year and a half and we moved to Utah, near where I grew up, this last December.
The whole time I've known Izzy I've known about her questioning her gender identity. When we first met she talked about transitioning in a 'if this were a perfect world this would happen' sort of way. I remember sitting in bed together and thinking about how different life would be if she did transition. After we moved I noticed her depression and her trichotillomania with her beard getting worse. I didn't know how to bring up the transition stuff again, but then fate helped me out. I was opening YouTube and one of my suggested videos was one woman's update on her estrogen journey. I clicked it and asked Izzy to watch with me. She was drawn in right away, and I could feel it dawning on her that this is what she needs. After watching all of the videos Izzy and I started talking about saving money for her transition and how we could go about getting her the health care she needs. This was a few days before Valentines Day. The day before Valentines Day we had set up a consult for laser hair removal, and she decided to present female in public for the first time. After the appointment we did a little window shopping, and she was just amazed at how much better she felt. That's when she decided that she was going to be full time. The next day she wore my skirt and some of my old makeup to work. I was worried sick about her, but everyone at her work have been super supportive and amazing!
Things have been going pretty well since, Izzy has been the happiest I've ever seen her!! Things are getting better everyday

[V M]

Hi Annie 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Hugs

V M

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's place. One of the thing you need to be thinking about is a gender therapist. Such a person is skilled in dealing with transgender and will greatly speed the process up by avoiding pitfalls. It may be a little hard locating help in Utah but session by Skype or a visit to a near by state may be the solution to the problem. There is a large amount of help available in Phoenix but there might be help closer to you.

Feel free to ask me question on this thread or by PM when you reach 15 post. I am 33 years post transition and I am here to help others get past the problems I faced.

[pianoflute2]

Thanks for the welcome!!
There's actually a surprising amount of help here in Utah! Most of it is in Salt Lake. I'm wondering if we will have to go out of state for surgery however, but that still feels pretty far in the future.

[Dena]

I suspect surgery would be out of state because there aren't that many surgeons. I know phoenix has one and California has several. The eastern part of the country also has several and sometimes people go out of the country for surgery. Now is the time to start considering a surgeon because wait list can run between one and two years for some. If you want/need a particular procedure you might need to get on the list pretty early. This is a huge difference from when I had surgery because I was on the table about 3 months after I made the decision to go.

[pianoflute2]

Oh wow, one or two years? We have a consult with a surgeon on Wednesday, but I'm pretty sure they don't do the SRS, but they do top surgery. And they should at least be able to give us information about other doctors and the procedures, right?

[Dena]

Breast augmentation is best if you have 2 or 3 years on HRT before considering it. The problem is as you grow, the implants may not be placed correctly or may be improperly sized. I know a person who grew so much, she had to have them removed. Most normal plastic surgery procedures aren't hard to get with the exception of FFS where some procedures are only done by a a few surgeons. SRS is another story because what you want and what you need can limit the surgeons who can preform the procedure. Some males have little tissue to work with requiring a doctor who works with skin grafts. I had sufficient tissue for a simple time tested procedure.

SRS is something many doctors don't understand. Even on this site, people are comparing notes back and forth learning about each detail of the surgery in order to make the correct decision for their needs. I pretty well stay out of it because what I know is hopelessly outdated. I am learning but the procedures used today are so different than mine, it feels like I have a model T.

[pianoflute2]

Yeah, that's what I've heard. But we need to start pricing things now so that we can save for this. What all does FFS consist of? I'm really interested to learn more about SRS, I watched some procedures on YouTube but I don't know if they were out dated. The after pics that I've seen look really amazing, however!

[Dena]

If on the forms you go down to community conversation and the bottom of that section contains transitioning. You may also use the link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,339.0.html to get there.
That section contains all the conversations about MTF surgery and therapy related to the transition. You don't need all of the procedures but you do what you want to feel comfortable with yourself. In my case, I had my adams apple shaved, a nose job and SRS. Last summer I had voice surgery because my voice has been incapable of hitting the feminine range even with speech therapy.

Facial Feminization Surgery requires an artist because the surgery should be different for each person. It alters the features of the face to eliminate masculine traits. Some of the things involved is elimination of the brow ridge, nose, chin, cheeks, lips and hairline.

My surgery dates back to about 1963 and was the first procedure used in the United States. Everything is function but a look at my underside would make it clear it wasn't original equipment. The refinements have been mostly to improve the appearance to the point where a medical examination might not tell the difference. I could get that type of revision but anybody I go to bed with will know my history so it's not important to me that things look perfect. In short if the after pictures look pretty good, the surgery is pretty current but even so, there are surgical trade offs. Appearance verses sexual sensitivity is one and depth is another. This is why you want to chose your surgeon carefully.

[pianoflute2]

Thank you for the link!! I'm really excited to learn more about all of this

[SilverWing]

Hi Annie, remember me?  Welcome to Susan's, by the way!

(If you ever have any questions about anything, you can ask me. My specialty is Minecraft, but I can try to help with other things too. I've just begun full-time and have at least a month before hormones, though, so some others might be more experienced in that. But I'll definitely try to help )

[pianoflute2]

I do remember you!! Thank you!!

Also, wanted to update. Izzy's first HRT appointment is on March 17th!

[pianoflute2]

Hey everyone, sorry I've been gone for a while. I got a biopsy today and am waiting on results. I will try to be more active on here!