When I first got onto the internet in the 90's, I went to a book store and found a book called "Internet Phone Book." I, of course, looked up "transsexual" and found a chat room (that no longer exists) called "The Gazebo." I guess that internet search engines weren't around or were not in my scope of knowledge -- I look up SOO many things via Google these days, lol! Through the Gazebo and several books ("True Self"), I came to recognize myself and all the angst that I'd kept trapped inside throughout my life since early childhood.
My ex (who was critical because she was trying to "save" me) stated the obvious: That there are websites and info on every esoteric interest ranging from many good things to some weird things like pedophiles and skinheads. I pointed out how many esoteric medical diseases that are misdiagnosed by doctors and, only via the internet, have people suffering these diseases found each other and thus realized, they're not alone. She countered that skinheads and other negative small groups also "find each other" via the internet. Now post op, my journey is through and, in looking back, feel my ex was trying her best to protect me albeit in a fairly insulting way. Like Renee Richards related in her autobiography, I have no certainty that I've done the correct thing but have done what I felt compelled to do; the often stated "transition or die." My ex pointed out that there are all kinds of obssessions and she asked whether what I was feeling was something I'd talked myself into? There is no real answer to that -- I feel the way I feel and it's all I CAN feel. The internet is, unarguably, an incredibly powerful thing but it didn't talk me into anything. Like others, it "triggered" (or, more accurately, "helped") my transition. Transitioning is something I dwelled on WAYYY before the internet. I can only hope that, unlike negative obssessions that harm humanity, mine is a positive change, executed from my heart with hopes of an ever better life...
As time moves on.
Teri Anne
