How much did therapy help?

[Alena43]

Therapy was and still is a great thing for me, with the help of my therapist I was able to finally have enough courage to allow myself at first just to even think about being ts, then to finally and truly accept true female self.

My therapist didn''t tell me what to do, or tell me what I was or wasn't, she listened to what I had to say and then would ask some questions, or give me some ideas of how to go about certain things. She has been awesome and if wasn't for her I would still be absolutley miserbale. I plan on seeing her all the way through this journey of transitionong.

I can't wait to see her each time i have an appt, which can be up to a month at atime, due to the fact that I am a over the road truck driver, but hopefully not for much longer. The times when I am not able to see her for a month , she will let me email her to keep her updated on how I am doing.

I just love seeing her, and I am slo rateful to have her as my therapist.

So to answer your question I think therapy is an awesome idea and I very glad that I made the decsiion to start.

Hugz,
Ariana

[danielle_l]

the only thing i know about therapy is all the qualifications, badges and whatever they show you mean absolutely nothing.

some people with no qualifications and no training have helped me more in 5 minutes, than others with all the decorations would do in a life time.

i think you need a group of people you can trust, but ultimately wherever you choose to go in life has to come from yourself. If you are relying on other people to tell you who you are, they are always going to mess it up, no matter how good their intentions are..

[noeleena]

hi    please tell me why so many of you have to go to therapy whats going on .....i did not & i would not . i went to 1 psyco &1 endo 3 times to the endo then out they did not need to see me after that.   just for my hrt tests . may be i told them what i was doing were i was going & that was that.  then 3 years later srs & b a .   mmmmm   thinking is it that i am older .are you   younger by some years ..is this the case to put it this way i will not take any rubish from any Drs or who ever  trying to tell me other wise .  as i hear from some i know . for me i know who i am & whats inside.  so why are they then trying to say you not trans .    whats going on....we have some neat Drs & 1 or2 psycos  so for me it was good.      i know some are not so good our d h bs are not the same as the n h s or yours in the states let me know how you go on this ........ noeleena   ps.. i am not saying its not on to see your therapy drs just strange ......

[LostInTime]

Therapy was a tremendous help to me. I went in and told the therapist a few things:

1) that I did not have a high opinion of shrinks and therapists due to a bad experience when I was young
2) that I had no idea where I fell in the T spectrum and that I had to figure it out

She was patient, kind, and (the most helpful) smart. She retired right before I untransitioned on the first go 'round. The second therapist I saw I did it just for the letters. Do not get me wrong, she is good and I have a friend who said I saved her life by sending her to that therapist but I did not have issues to work out so it was more of a `going through the motions' sort of thing.

[Berliegh]

As I've never experienced therapy..

What do they actually do at therapy sessions? and in what way are they helpful? what is the criteria involved in a therapy session?

[danielle_l]

What do they actually do at therapy sessions? and in what way are they helpful? what is the criteria involved in a therapy session?

that is a good question.

my experience of NHS gender therapy, is me sitting down, and feeling incredibly intimidated for 40 minutes,

and having them ask me stupid questions and then having them try to twist them round to try and catch me out. It seems like a game to them.


example. I was asked a year or so ago, if i was sure about having SRS.

i said, 'im 100% sure, and i think after the RLT process i'll be 1000% sure'

the next time i saw them they said to me..

'danielle, you said to us you weren't at all sure about having SRS...we think you are being very ambigous. Maybe you are happy being androgenous.. its ok to be androgenous! but obviously we cant allow people like that to have SRS'

the next time i went in with a tape recorder, and recorded the conversation.. since then they haven't seemed quite so clever.

i honestly think that some of them sit there and enjoy watching us squirm. Im willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, as they must get alot of wierdos coming in, but they are so accustomed to being in a position of power that when an irritating, self-aware bitch woman like me walks in, they don't know how to react.

i would never tell them anything about me again for risk to my transition. Now, I smile, show-off my tits and tell them exactly what they want to hear. Its down right pathetic, but thats what it is. I dont need some random person to tell me who i am.

honestly, if anything, i should be telling them exactly who they are.

a bunch of bloody morons who are so far up their own bum that they can probably see right out of their mouth.

The idea that a non-transwoman can ever really offer any therapy to a transexual woman, is so arrogant and frankly, discriminatory.

therapy? thats for people who are confused. Wierdos who have conversations with themselves in mcdonalds

[Berliegh]

What do they actually do at therapy sessions? and in what way are they helpful? what is the criteria involved in a therapy session?

that is a good question.

my experience of NHS gender therapy, is me sitting down, and feeling incredibly intimidated for 40 minutes,

and having them ask me stupid questions and then having them try to twist them round to try and catch me out. It seems like a game to them.


example. I was asked a year or so ago, if i was sure about having SRS.

i said, 'im 100% sure, and i think after the RLT process i'll be 1000% sure'

the next time i saw them they said to me..

'danielle, you said to us you weren't at all sure about having SRS...we think you are being very ambigous. Maybe you are happy being androgenous.. its ok to be androgenous! but obviously we cant allow people like that to have SRS'

the next time i went in with a tape recorder, and recorded the conversation.. since then they haven't seemed quite so clever.

i honestly think that some of them sit there and enjoy watching us squirm. Im willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, as they must get alot of wierdos coming in, but they are so accustomed to being in a position of power that when an irritating, self-aware bitch woman like me walks in, they don't know how to react.

i would never tell them anything about me again for risk to my transition. Now, I smile, show-off my tits and tell them exactly what they want to hear. Its down right pathetic, but thats what it is. I dont need some random person to tell me who i am.

honestly, if anything, i should be telling them exactly who they are.

a bunch of bloody morons who are so far up their own bum that they can probably see right out of their mouth.

The idea that a non-transwoman can ever really offer any therapy to a transexual woman, is so arrogant and frankly, discriminatory.

therapy? thats for people who are confused. Wierdos who have conversations with themselves in mcdonalds

I think our friends in America now realise that we do not have the patient structured care like they do in the U.S. As Fruity rightly says it's mostly intimitation, abuse and trying to make you feel worthless. What I meant about 'Therapy' was the fact that there isn't any form of therapy going on in the U.K NHS system...

[Kate]

I think our friends in America now realise that we do not have the patient structured care like they do in the U.S. As Fruity rightly says it's mostly intimitation, abuse and trying to make you feel worthless. What I meant about 'Therapy' was the fact that there isn't any form of therapy going on in the U.K NHS system...

That's just terrible. I mean OK, we in the US certainly have our "gatekeeper" issues to deal with, but there ARE good therapists around.

I will say though that my first experience with an actual psychiatrist wasn't very productive - although to be fair, he was the first person I'd EVER talked to about this, and I only went a few times. But compared to my therapist, the psych was much more clinical about it, where I felt like I was being tested and evaluated for every answer I gave. My therapist, in contrast, tends to ask questions only to guide me, to go deeper, to think of things I may be avoiding or missing - there's little sense of being "judged" for anything.

~Kate~

[shanetastic]

I think our friends in America now realise that we do not have the patient structured care like they do in the U.S. As Fruity rightly says it's mostly intimitation, abuse and trying to make you feel worthless. What I meant about 'Therapy' was the fact that there isn't any form of therapy going on in the U.K NHS system...

That's just terrible. I mean OK, we in the US certainly have our "gatekeeper" issues to deal with, but there ARE good therapists around.

I will say though that my first experience with an actual psychiatrist wasn't very productive - although to be fair, he was the first person I'd EVER talked to about this, and I only went a few times. But compared to my therapist, the psych was much more clinical about it, where I felt like I was being tested and evaluated for every answer I gave. My therapist, in contrast, tends to ask questions only to guide me, to go deeper, to think of things I may be avoiding or missing - there's little sense of being "judged" for anything.

~Kate~

I'm moving on therapist number three soon.  I hate all of them with a passion so far.  Yeah I'm really bitter like Berliegh now because of all this

[Valentina]

The difference has been incomparable.  I was recommended to my gender clinician thru my endocrinologist & I couldn't be happier.

[Berliegh]

The difference has been incomparable.  I was recommended to my gender clinician thru my endocrinologist & I couldn't be happier.

In the U.K I had to find an endocrinlogist by looking on the internet. It's very DIY over here in that respect. I was attending a NHS Gender clinic in London and had to really push and fight with them in 2004 to employ an endocrinlogist. The gender clinics in the U.K don't have anyone available in a 'therapy' position or deal with people's problems and they don't have a treatment prgram or criteria. You have to invent your own treatment program and then you can go to thailand or San Francisco or wherever to get the various proceedure's done. I 'm not aware that they have therapists in the U.K, they may have some form of councelling for alchohol abuse or drug abuse but not for people with Gender Dysphoria.

I'm not bitter but I do think more information should be available in the U.K and people should be informed that they are on their own if they want ro transition. I lost 7 years of my life trying to fight a corrupt system..

Posted on: November 03, 2007, 06:46:33 AM

I'm moving on therapist number three soon.  I hate all of them with a passion so far.  Yeah I'm really bitter like Berliegh now because of all this

I hope your not in the U.K too?

[Nigella]

I I 'm not aware that they have therapists in the U.K, they may have some form of councelling for alchohol abuse or drug abuse but not for people with Gender Dysphoria.


[/quote]


Berliegh

Things are a little different here in Scotland UK, I have a counsellor who is a transgender counsellor and I am greatful for what the NHS is doing for me here. It still has its problems, things are slow or so it seems at times but things are in place here and it took about three months after my first appointment at the GID clinic to get a referral to see a counsellor. They are very good here and I look forward to the meetings.

I have heard London is not that good but the NHS in Devon in the South West of England has an excellent reputation as well. I think in the UK it is  post code lottery as with anything with the NHS there is not a uniformed standard of care although there is supposed to be.

hugs

Nigella

[Berliegh]

Berliegh

Things are a little different here in Scotland UK, I have a counsellor who is a transgender counsellor and I am greatful for what the NHS is doing for me here. It still has its problems, things are slow or so it seems at times but things are in place here and it took about three months after my first appointment at the GID clinic to get a referral to see a counsellor. They are very good here and I look forward to the meetings.

I have heard London is not that good but the NHS in Devon in the South West of England has an excellent reputation as well. I think in the UK it is  post code lottery as with anything with the NHS there is not a uniformed standard of care although there is supposed to be.

hugs

Nigella

So I'm told..... I have an appointment in Sandyford, Glasgow, Scotland  next month....so let's hope it's a vast improvement to England...

I wasn't aware that anything existed in the Devon area? any details would be useful?

[Nigella]

Berliegh

Things are a little different here in Scotland UK, I have a counsellor who is a transgender counsellor and I am greatful for what the NHS is doing for me here. It still has its problems, things are slow or so it seems at times but things are in place here and it took about three months after my first appointment at the GID clinic to get a referral to see a counsellor. They are very good here and I look forward to the meetings.

I have heard London is not that good but the NHS in Devon in the South West of England has an excellent reputation as well. I think in the UK it is  post code lottery as with anything with the NHS there is not a uniformed standard of care although there is supposed to be.

hugs

Nigella

So I'm told..... I have an appointment in Sandyford, Glasgow, Scotland  next month....so let's hope it's a vast improvement to England...

I wasn't aware that anything existed in the Devon area? any details would be useful?

I might be wrong but I think its the Exeter NHS trust

Hope things go well next month

Nigella

[Berliegh]

I might be wrong but I think its the Exeter NHS trust

Hope things go well next month

Nigella

The problem is if you don't live in the Devon area yuo won't be able to see anyone no matter how good they might be. I got over the problem in Glasgow as I have another address in Scotland as well as here. If I didn't have a contact address in Scotland I wouldn't be able to attend their clinic either. It is a postcode lottery and those in the London area suffer the most..

Here's another example of the way transsexuals are treated ot rather not treated in the U.K:
http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/Patient-sues-over-long-wait.1327212.jp

[Joyce]

My experience is very similar to Kate's -- having a set schedule just for me gave me something to grasp onto when I was quite depressed.  My psychologist has yet to come  up with an earth-shattering analysis of my condition, but has prodded me into doing it for myself.  He's been supportive and thoughtful and never judgmental.  He's read my writings and confirmed what I already knew about my psychology. 

Early on, I was hoping he'd say that no, you don't have GID, but you *are* insane, but I never got that    -- he said pretty much from the first couple of visits, "well, it's clear you've got GID," which was both a relief to me, but wasn't earthshattering since I already knew it.  I think hearing it from an objective party helped build some momentum in me.

He didn't push, but has agreed with me at every stage of progress such as hormones.  We are currently working on how my transition is affecting my wife and kids, which I'm clueless about.

Joyce

[Berliegh]

My experience is very similar to Kate's -- having a set schedule just for me gave me something to grasp onto when I was quite depressed.  My psychologist has yet to come  up with an earth-shattering analysis of my condition, but has prodded me into doing it for myself.  He's been supportive and thoughtful and never judgmental.  He's read my writings and confirmed what I already knew about my psychology. 

Early on, I was hoping he'd say that no, you don't have GID, but you *are* insane, but I never got that    -- he said pretty much from the first couple of visits, "well, it's clear you've got GID," which was both a relief to me, but wasn't earthshattering since I already knew it.  I think hearing it from an objective party helped build some momentum in me.

He didn't push, but has agreed with me at every stage of progress such as hormones.  We are currently working on how my transition is affecting my wife and kids, which I'm clueless about.

Joyce

It's obviously a different world as far as GID is concerened in America..

[noeleena]

hi .... can i ask this    for me its was not the same i am 60  years of age .   how old or young are you all.    this seems to me to be at the begining of the detail that is going on .....there was no as to if i was or not i said what was going on & they would not tell me other wise ..   hormons when i needed them .  srs when that was needed .  am i being to strong here or ..... if you are a trans female .  //   m to f  only here ..// i know myself i am strong on this ..at lest take another trans with you for surport .   most times they are males for most of them  & you are right its a game ....look them in the face & say.  .... i am  a trans  ......do you see were i am coming from  ...i said i am strong on this  i will not take the dirt on this its my life .    how dare they try & tell me other wise ...i hear you i know whats going on .    may be thats why  i am working in with the   human rights com & others in this regard for what should be done  .    i hope this may help . be strong  .  noeleena ,   n z

[cindybc]

Hi Noeleena welcome to Susan's
"Wow!" It's hard to to keep up with what you are trying to say here. Well fist of all I gather your     M to F  and you would like to know if there are others around that are in their 60's. I am sixty two. There was one lady here when I first came here who was 70 years old. But I am not certain if she is still around. There are a few in their fifties around about as well.

Anyway there are many here that would be pleased to respond to any questions you may have pertaining transitioning and any aspects of transitioning. There are also certain threads in these forums if you just desired to just share any general knowledge with others here.
Cindy 

[Berliegh]

hi .... can i ask this    for me its was not the same i am 60  years of age .   how old or young are you all.    this seems to me to be at the begining of the detail that is going on .....there was no as to if i was or not i said what was going on & they would not tell me other wise ..   hormons when i needed them .  srs when that was needed .  am i being to strong here or ..... if you are a trans female .  //   m to f  only here ..// i know myself i am strong on this ..at lest take another trans with you for surport .   most times they are males for most of them  & you are right its a game ....look them in the face & say.  .... i am  a trans  ......do you see were i am coming from  ...i said i am strong on this  i will not take the dirt on this its my life .    how dare they try & tell me other wise ...i hear you i know whats going on .    may be thats why  i am working in with the   human rights com & others in this regard for what should be done  .    i hope this may help . be strong  .  noeleena ,   n z

Surely if you managed to get this far as a male and you are 60 years old.....you could carry on the rest that way? I thought 40 was pushing it but Cindy was older when she transitioned. But she was presenting a feminine image of herself right back in as far as the 1960's and 1970's..