Never realized how dirty men's brains are until I started HRT!

[richie]

Has anyone else realized just how dirty the male brain is after starting HRT? I had very low testosterone when I started HRT, about 193 ng/dL, but my mind now is so much different than before HRT.

I used to have dirty thoughts all the time about boys, but now, all I want to do is have a nice lunch with them and hold their hands. I never ever think about boys in a sexual context anymore. It's crazy!
Hormones change the way we see the world a lot.

Anyone else agree?
Opinons? Thoughts?

[suzifrommd]

Anyone else agree?
Opinons? Thoughts?

No question, for me at least. The experience of sexual interest is totally different.

[AnonyMs]

Agreed, I don't think you can understand it unless you've experienced it.

[Maybebaby56]

I never liked the euphemism "dirty" when referring to lust or sexual attraction.  It has a negative connotation that is archetypal of 1950s neurotic puritanism.

My libido is now almost non-existent, but I don't have a problem with men being lustful.  It suits them, and it suits many women.

With kindness,

Terri

[Devlyn]

I never liked the euphemism "dirty" when referring to lust or sexual attraction.  It has a negative connotation that is archetypal of 1950s neurotic puritanism.

My libido is now almost non-existent, but I don't have a problem with men being lustful.  It suits them, and it suits many women.

With kindness,

Terri

Beat me to it! "Sex = dirty" is definitely an attitude learned in church. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Dee Marshall]

My libido is as good as ever. My tendency to think about sex every waking moment is gone. Women who are not transgender can never really understand how much men (and those pretending to be men) are controlled by their hormones.


(By pretending to be men I mean pre-transition trans women. Trans men are men, not pretending, of course.)

[richie]

I never liked the euphemism "dirty" when referring to lust or sexual attraction.  It has a negative connotation that is archetypal of 1950s neurotic puritanism.

My libido is now almost non-existent, but I don't have a problem with men being lustful.  It suits them, and it suits many women.

With kindness,

Terri

Oh, no, I didn't mean to use "dirty" in a negative context! Sorry. I'm just so accustomed to saying things like, "dirty thoughts" or whatnot without a negative connotation. I'm a 19 year old college student in Philadelphia; I'm sure shaming people for sex in this city among my age group is almost non existent! Lol

[richie]

My libido is as good as ever. My tendency to think about sex every waking moment is gone. Women who are not transgender can never really understand how much men (and those pretending to be men) are controlled by their hormones.


(By pretending to be men I mean pre-transition trans women. Trans men are men, not pretending, of course.)

Are you saying your libido is still fairly high and sufficient? I find it difficult to even think about sex for longer than 5 seconds.  If I try to force myself to think about it, I just get distracted in no time.
The concept of casual hook ups is completely out of my mind now. Since I started college about 4 months before starting HRT, it was pretty easy to just have one night stands with men that I just met. That's a thing of the past now. No desire for it.

I'd much rather think about going on cute dates with boys. In fact, I've been fantasizing about having a relationship more than ever while on HRT!

[Rylie M]

I dont even have to be on hrt to realize this I just have to think back a few years when my mind was much dirtier then it is now not that I dont have some of those same thoughts as I did 15 years ago there just toned down a bit at 34.

[Dee Marshall]

My libido is very high and quite sufficient, Richie. I was never one for casual hookups to begin with, although it happened occasionally. These days I may or may not get "warmed up", situationally or just spontaneously although it happens on an average of twice per day. Just for reference, I'm a trans lesbian. Guys have little appeal to me.

[Orielle]

(apologies if this comes across as me just being a contrarian...)

I rarely think about sex...and when I do, it is generally with regard to someone I already have a relationship with. Perhaps at the height of summer in the company of a particularly attractive girl, my mind might go there with someone I don't know, but really, I think about sex spontaneously like a handful of times a year at most (I'm talking about being mentally aroused first. There are of course times when my body involuntarily has a boner, like when I wake up, but at those times I wack it like it's a bit of a chore and my mind rarely really engages and afterwards I'm like : "really, is that it?" and I feel kind of disappointed in myself).

I don't know why I'm that way as I'm actually fairly passionate between the sheets when I have a real connection with someone, but that ability to be horny at a moment's notice is what makes me such a rubbish boy and why I'll be so happy once I present full time as a girl (because people's expectations will be much more aligned with my behaviour).

There's no two ways about it...I can't do sexual thought without a partner, connection and intimacy.

God...I sound like such a wanker. Both figuratively and literally.

Orielle
x

P.S. I'm pre-HRT, trans-lesbian. Was just giving a counterpoint to the whole "boys think about sex all the time" POV...that wasn't/isn't the case for me...

[V M]

A dirty mind has no particular gender, male or female it often seems to be a bit more of a contest as to who's the biggest bugger    Hmmm, "Who's the Biggest Bugger?" That could make for a great title for a game show

[steyraug96]

Are you saying your libido is still fairly high and sufficient? I find it difficult to even think about sex for longer than 5 seconds.  If I try to force myself to think about it, I just get distracted in no time.
The concept of casual hook ups is completely out of my mind now. Since I started college about 4 months before starting HRT, it was pretty easy to just have one night stands with men that I just met. That's a thing of the past now. No desire for it.

I'd much rather think about going on cute dates with boys. In fact, I've been fantasizing about having a relationship more than ever while on HRT!

Well, I have to thank you for summing this up, this way...
I'm in the MTF camp, and 40, and always had "low" T. (About 220, IIRC last. Not checking free, nor fractional T1/T2/T3, nor SHBG.)

But this suggests my natural E is going up, because while I still have a "biological need" up to several times a day, I find it impossible to THINK about it. (And yes, it's a NEED, though I think it's more the release of stress, a la "wolf of Wall Street" type of thing.)
The fact that I try to think a fantasy through at night, and I'm actually BORED...?  Would certainly be explained by the mental change here.
And this is NO hormones.  :-P  :-) 

-Dianna

[RobynD]

I too don't think of sex/intimacy as dirty and the term i don't like, but i can totally tell you that my mind has changed a lot on HRT.

It is really amazing how it has all been re-wired. Now sex is about a physical expression of an emotional bond. I do at times see things as erotic, but then i still see it as a "turn on "much differently compared to before.

[Asche]

Can't say I've noticed all that much change, other than a little less of a sexual urge.  But then, my sexuality was never anything like the way men's sexuality is supposed to be.  More like what women's is supposed to be -- I have always preferred cuddling and intimacy and feeling safe, and I actually can't "perform" without them.  My therapist says the word for it is "demisexual".

Of course, I've only been on HRT for 5 months.

[ryokohimura]

Two months in and...

Visual stimuli doesn't pack the same punch. It's still there, but it's not the...I can't really describe it. The fantasises are more romantic and mentally based. Being held, cuddling while listening to the rain...things like that. My latest crush had us running off to Europe and getting married. It tends to be other women as of late as well, though my old thing for pretty boys is still there.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

(apologies if this comes across as me just being a contrarian...)

I honestly don't think you are. I think you're right. I was a hornball as a young teen (you know, like most teens) but when I started developing empathy and emotional maturity, my strong libido didn't override my decision making. It's almost as if I had the intellect to function beyond my base instincts. You know, like most people.

This isn't aimed at richie, but the idea that men are controlled by their hormones is frankly bull->-bleeped-<-. Yes, it definitely applies to some men out there (we call them "criminals"). There are obvious differences in how the genders experience sexual attraction, but believe it or not, men don't want sex all of the time. Some want to focus on their careers, some want to focus on their hobbies and some want to focus on their children. Others probably want to play Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes for a bit.

And don't get me started on the far reaching harm that stereotype does. There are idiots out there who are utterly gung-ho about their urges, but claiming they are incapable of controlling them actually removes agency and justifies their sexual objectification.

As for myself, I'm not on any kind of HRT (yet) and T is very much the dominant hormone in my body, but how I've experienced attraction has changed over the years. I'm not sure why, but I revel in the fact I can experience both love and lust and have complete agency over how I choose to pursue relationships. Judging from my interactions with other guys (edit: speaking from my experience living as one), I am far from unique in that respect.

[steyraug96]

I honestly don't think you are. I think you're right. I was a hornball as a young teen (you know, like most teens) but when I started developing empathy and emotional maturity, my strong libido didn't override my decision making. It's almost as if I had the intellect to function beyond my base instincts. You know, like most people.

This isn't aimed at richie, but the idea that men are controlled by their hormones is frankly bull->-bleeped-<-. Yes, it definitely applies to some men out there (we call them "criminals"). There are obvious differences in how the genders experience sexual attraction, but believe it or not, men don't want sex all of the time. Some want to focus on their careers, some want to focus on their hobbies and some want to focus on their children. Others probably want to play Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes for a bit.

And don't get me started on the far reaching harm that stereotype does. There are idiots out there who are utterly gung-ho about their urges, but claiming they are incapable of controlling them actually removes agency justifies their sexual objectification.

As for myself, I'm not on any kind of HRT (yet) and T is very much the dominant hormone in my body, but how I've experienced attraction has changed over the years. I'm not sure why, but I revel in the fact I can experience both love and lust and have complete agency over how I choose to pursue relationships. Judging from my interactions with other guys (edit: speaking from my experience living as one), I am far from unique in that respect.

Very nicely said, Kimberly.  :-)
-Dianna

[Valwen]

Hmm I haven't really noticed that side of things, for a short time after I started hormones my sex drive died but it rebounded in a large degree just a few months later.

Now I feel I am just as attracted as I was before, the big change is I am even more likely to be opened about my attraction, before I would never have mentioned how cute I find some woman. Now I will text friends and joke with co-workers. I am just as likely to make sexual based jokes and comments as before, though now I am likely to push the gender lines as I no longer find it weird to make comments about things.

so no I am not shocked at all by how dirty men's minds can be, but I often enjoy how dirty women's can be once you get them started. :-P

Serena

[Gemini]

Can't say I've noticed all that much change, other than a little less of a sexual urge.  But then, my sexuality was never anything like the way men's sexuality is supposed to be.  More like what women's is supposed to be -- I have always preferred cuddling and intimacy and feeling safe, and I actually can't "perform" without them.  My therapist says the word for it is "demisexual".

I'm the same way, Asche. My husband is a transman, pre-hrt, but he definitely has a higher libido than me, and for me, before HRT, the sex was always more of something I did for our relationship, and for him, than something I wanted for its own sake.

Things are starting to get better (I only started hormones two weeks ago), but I feel like my sexuality has always been more like a "stereotypical" woman than a man. I'm not as visually stimulated as gay and straight men seem to be, and one of my biggest turn-ons is feeling attractive, and I don't seem to need sex as much as they do.

In fact, I went ten years celibate between my first time (with a cisgender gay man, and my body dysphoria during the experience was dreadful) and my relationship with my husband.