A month's wait for T

[freebrady2015]

So I had an appointment last week with a new doctor to start testosterone. She asked me a billion questions, ordered blood work and scheduled follow-up in four weeks. I told her I was really hoping not to have to wait a month but she said she has no choice that there is a process.

Any suggestions on how to make this month go by without having a mental break-down? Anyone else had a month wait?

[Kanzaki]

Well, you can always tell yourself you'll be on T soon. Don't really know what to tell you other than that.

No, I haven't had a month wait. I'm not on T yet. However from the day I called and made my first appointment, I had to wait three months for the actual appointment (still waiting actually). Don't know how it'll be for you, but for me the first few weeks passed by very slowly and by now I'm hardly even noticing how close it is, so I'm guessing it'll probably be similar for you too?

Either way, congrats. Is that what you say? I'm not sure, now that I think of it. What kind of questions did she ask, by the way?

[Tysilio]

I had a wait of about a month or six weeks. I was so stoked that I'd be able to start at all, that the time went by pretty fast. 

Focus on other things-- there are things you can start doing now that will pay off when you do start, like getting into a strength training routine. The stronger you are when you start T, the sooner any kind of strength training will pay off for you -- especially upper body work.  Any exercise, for that matter, will help you "burn off" stress.

Meditation can also be helpful for dealing with stuff you have no control over.

[freebrady2015]

Either way, congrats. Is that what you say? I'm not sure, now that I think of it. What kind of questions did she ask, by the way?

Thank you - yes I'm very excited but more so just going through every emotion imaginable. For me, the closer I get to getting on T the harder it gets to just wait. It was my first time seeing this doctor and establishing primary care so she asked all the usual questions about family history and life style, but also some I couldn't really answer specifically about transitioning such as what gender do I currently present as. I said "just myself".. she asked what my goals were for transitioning if I wanted top and bottom surgery etc.

I'm doing lots of things to help myself once on T, I'm really obsessive about working out and building upper body strength. I also need to figure out the whole transitioning socially, I've been trying to pick a new name for myself and I've stopped wearing any women's clothing pretty much completely. I'm kind of going about it trying to do the physical transition simultaneously with social transition.

[Peep]

I'd assume you already waited more than a month to get this far - look at it like you're halfway there, or three-quarters, or whatever. You just need to find a distraction to get you through the last stretch. Or make a sticker chart to count down the days haha

I'm looking at another year or so to wait, sooo... can we swap places? lol

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I had to wait but it was no biggie because i started T on my schedule. I have a job already that I intend to keep so I had to plan my top surgery around work concerns. Then I fit T into that.

Once I started T, the freakout commenced.

[freebrady2015]

I'm looking at another year or so to wait, sooo... can we swap places? lol

I'm sorry I didn't mean to complain knowing others still have a longer wait

Once I started T, the freakout commenced.

What do you mean the freakout commenced?

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I didn't freak about T until I was responsible for my own injections. I've had a lot of stress around getting the right dose. I think I'm feeling a little better now because I'm seeing signs that it's working.

[Elis]

I was stressing after taking T for the first few months. I wouldn't consider it a 'freakout' though. I just kept thinking did I make the right choice; hating the wait to see any changes and hating that I looked like a gawky 17 yr old boy. Also T didn't make me immediately happy as I first thought and I still had depression. Now I'm at 5 months and can see me looking more masculine I'm not really stressed out at all (although I'm uncomfortable how happy I am in my body now as I'm not used to that feeling).

[WorkingOnThomas]

I've been waiting since my first appointment at the gender clinic. Last November. I don't get to start until August - if then. To help make the time pass faster, I've been working on my wardrobe, doing the paperwork towards my name change (soooooooo much paperwork) and learning how to pee standing up.

[freebrady2015]

I've been waiting since my first appointment at the gender clinic. Last November. I don't get to start until August - if then. To help make the time pass faster, I've been working on my wardrobe, doing the paperwork towards my name change (soooooooo much paperwork) and learning how to pee standing up.

So you have to wait almost a year? That really sucks    sorry to hear
I haven't started my paperwork yet but I should..

[Ayden]

I was on hormones, had to go off for a year (no access to a doctor who would treat me) and when I finally got back home and got an appointment, I had to wait a month. Since I had already been on T for 3 years and off for a year I wasn't thrilled to wait a month, but I will say it passed quickly.  I just laid out a plan of what I wanted to get done every week and before I knew it I was waiting in line at the pharmacy.

Sent from my SM-G920I using Tapatalk

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I've been waiting since my first appointment at the gender clinic. Last November. I don't get to start until August - if then. To help make the time pass faster, I've been working on my wardrobe, doing the paperwork towards my name change (soooooooo much paperwork) and learning how to pee standing up.

What the hell? That's insane!

Is there a group working to change this? Where do we donate? Can we make calls to our legislators?

C'mon, this is complete BS! (Also, very glad I am not going through a gender clinic. They sound awful.)

[WorkingOnThomas]

What the hell? That's insane!

Is there a group working to change this? Where do we donate? Can we make calls to our legislators?

C'mon, this is complete BS! (Also, very glad I am not going through a gender clinic. They sound awful.)

I'm in Belgium, and no, there isn't a thing anyone can do about it. The simple fact is that the clinic I go has a waiting list. You have to wait to see someone, then you have see that person once a month for a certain number of months before they decide to refer you to the endo, then you get put on the waiting list to see the endo. It's a combination of gatekeeping (which I detest) and the simple fact that there are far too many transgender people seeking treatment and not enough experts to go around. I know some people here try get HRT without going through the clinic, but if you do that, when it comes time for surgery (some of which are apparently only done by this particular clinic) you have to start over at the back of the line ... psych evaluations, medical exams, the whole thing. At least, so I was warned. So the only thing I can do is be patient while other people make decisions about my life and wait my turn like a good little boy.

[FTMDiaries]

I'm in Belgium, and no, there isn't a thing anyone can do about it. The simple fact is that the clinic I go has a waiting list.

We're in a similar situation here in the UK. Waiting lists are ridiculously long - generally varying from 1-4 years for a first appointment. Multiple appointments, often several months apart, are needed before they'll agree to put us on T. We can try to beat the queues by paying to go to one of the private clinics, but even then we'd still be looking at about a 6-month wait before we can start T. But that having been said: no matter how long you have to wait, it always feels way too long. And the closer you get to your appointment, the harder it can be to cope with the wait. Once we've decided to transition, we want to do it yesterday and waiting around for other people to pull their fingers out can be very frustrating. That's just called 'being human'.

The best thing the OP can do is to try to distract yourself, and do all the other transition-related things you need to do whilst you wait for the medical side to catch up. And if you haven't already done so, do some research into the risks of using T so you can convince your doctor that you've done your homework; she'll probably ask you to sign a waiver stating that you understand and accept those risks.

One important point: has your doctor actually said that she'll put you on T at your next appointment? I hope so, but I'll admit I'd be surprised if she does, especially if some of your answers were non-committal. Very often, doctors will need to be convinced that you're sure you know what you're doing: if you can't clearly state that you identify as male, present as male, and intend to live full-time in a male role, they might not be keen to write that prescription straight away (which is an absolute nightmare especially if you're non-binary).

[freebrady2015]

One important point: has your doctor actually said that she'll put you on T at your next appointment? I hope so, but I'll admit I'd be surprised if she does, especially if some of your answers were non-committal. Very often, doctors will need to be convinced that you're sure you know what you're doing: if you can't clearly state that you identify as male, present as male, and intend to live full-time in a male role, they might not be keen to write that prescription straight away (which is an absolute nightmare especially if you're non-binary).

This is a really good point. No, she did not right out say "next time you come back I will give you a prescription". So I guess I will prepare myself for anything really. My understanding of the process here is that it is pretty likely that she will get me on T at my next appointment. The two slips she gave me to take home were the informed consent form, which she told me to read and that we will sign it together, and a description of the treatment plan where the reason for my next appointment just reads "HRT".

I'm sorry to hear about the wait times in Europe. Universal health care is a real blessing but in these situations a bit of a curse.

[FTMax]

I haven't struggled too much with any of the waits I've been subjected to so far. For me, there's always been a light at the end of the tunnel. Unlike a lot of people, I've very easily found healthcare providers and haven't had any issues getting everything lined up and paid for.

I had to wait 3 weeks to get an appointment and then another 3 after the appointment to start T. 1 month for a top surgery consult, 2 months for top surgery, 6 months to get referrals for bottom surgery, 3 weeks for a hysterectomy, 1 month for a bottom surgery consult, and 5 months for the first stage of bottom surgery. I'll have at least a 9 month wait for the second stage, if not another year.

Just think about all the good things that are coming and try not to dwell on the past or present. And like FTMdiaries mentioned, don't get too upset if you don't walk out of your next appointment with T. I was able to, but only because my lab work came back okay and I didn't have any other health issues that needed to be discussed. It is becoming much more common in the US to get your prescription at the first or second appointment, but that may not be your experience.

[FtMitch]

This is a really good point. No, she did not right out say "next time you come back I will give you a prescription". So I guess I will prepare myself for anything really. My understanding of the process here is that it is pretty likely that she will get me on T at my next appointment. The two slips she gave me to take home were the informed consent form, which she told me to read and that we will sign it together, and a description of the treatment plan where the reason for my next appointment just reads "HRT".

I'm sorry to hear about the wait times in Europe. Universal health care is a real blessing but in these situations a bit of a curse.

I feel like in the USA much of it depends on whether or not you have the money to pay for transition, meaning that low income guys end up with scary long wait times and have to jump through multiple hoops while guys like me, who fall into the upper middle class bracket, can get on T very quickly by going to a therapist who doesn't believe in gatekeeping and will just write you a note then getting an appointment with a doctor who prescribes HRT on the first appointment every time.  That is what I did and all of it took me less than a month once I made up my mind.  If I went to the Dallas area gender clinic, well, I would still be waiting for my first therapy appointment as the waist list was 7 months long.  This is really sad to me, as I feel that anyone who needs it should be able to get on HRT quickly, not just those with the cash to pay off the right people.  However, it's obviously better than in Europe if all of you guys have to wait months!  I honestly don't know how you manage and my heart goes out to you.  I am a million times happier now that I am on T, and there is no way I could have waited the 7 months to start the process without falling into dangerous depression.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Mitch, you are spot on.

I'm not upper middle class, I'm working class, but employed and with 1/2way decent insurance. I already had a relationship with a good therapist so when I was ready to get rolling the skids were greased for me.

This is typical throughout our healthcare system: very uneven outcomes, confusing tangle for the patient, too much gatekeeping, whether it's insurance co perfidy or the medicos thinking they know best. I could tell you some stories about my wife's grandmother's end of life care.

If you're in a state that refused to take Medicaid expansion dollars, of which Texas is one, there is now literally not enough money to care for all of the uninsured. If you think waiting for T is bad, check out what's been happening to cancer patients without insurance.

Let me stop before I get off topic.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I'm in Belgium, and no, there isn't a thing anyone can do about it. The simple fact is that the clinic I go has a waiting list. You have to wait to see someone, then you have see that person once a month for a certain number of months before they decide to refer you to the endo, then you get put on the waiting list to see the endo. It's a combination of gatekeeping (which I detest) and the simple fact that there are far too many transgender people seeking treatment and not enough experts to go around. I know some people here try get HRT without going through the clinic, but if you do that, when it comes time for surgery (some of which are apparently only done by this particular clinic) you have to start over at the back of the line ... psych evaluations, medical exams, the whole thing. At least, so I was warned. So the only thing I can do is be patient while other people make decisions about my life and wait my turn like a good little boy.

I know, "it's not possible" to do anything about the way things are, but I feel like both the gatekeeping and the lack of resources are things that could be fixed if the political will were there. I suppose trans activists in your country must be working on this issue unless they have bigger problems?

Over here, wingnuts think we shouldn't be able to go pee in public restrooms. For the children. Or in public school restrooms, if the transgender menace in question is a child.